Discouraged with writing
Dear Lord, A week has gone by and I feel like I just don’t feel like writing. I am discouraged; don’t know what to say and I just want to go to bed. I have hit a slump, with nothing to say and unsure of where to go from here. Maybe my husband is right, I can’t do this. I will never make any money here and I just don’t feel like going on. Am I bored? Am I tired? Depressed? Am I not as good of a writer as I thought? Do I have no self-discipline, self-motivation, ability to complete a task or fulfill a commitment?
I am afraid. I am afraid of failure. I am frustrated. There are not many hits on my articles and even less on the advertisements. Is anybody out there? Is anybody interested? Perhaps I am more boring that I thought I was. I long to be funny, witty or clever, but I just fall flat. That is not who I am. I suffer dreadfully from Serious Christian Syndrome. I am too thoughtful and careful when I want to be wild and carefree.
Perhaps I am too busy. Tomorrow is the last day of school and the kids will soon be home for the summer. Finding the time to write will become even harder. As a domestically challenged individual I can get overwhelmed with the tasks of laundry, home and errands. I would rather ditch all the work to play and spend time with the kids. Now that they will be home 24/7 that will be a very real temptation.
Maybe the task is just too big. I haven’t written anything since high school except one required travel report for a job I had in Atlanta. Perhaps no one is interested in an ongoing topic. Perhaps my target audience is too small. My goal is to make the Bible interesting for people who aren’t interested in the Bible. So I guess my audience is not interested to begin with. I also hope to have enough depth for the avid Bible scholar, but perhaps they aren’t looking for a creative approach.
Perhaps I am saying “perhaps” too much. I am annoying myself.
I think I’m going to post this just so I don’t have an entirely dry week. I won’t feel bad if no one reads it. Well actually I might. What is the point of complaining if no one will listen?