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4 tips for a better marriage

Updated on July 2, 2007
Marriage is a wonderful blessing, but it can be very difficult at times. In this article, Sahmpower hopes to address four areas of a marriage that can start you well on your way to a happier, healthier relationship with your spouse.

1. Communication: It is no big secret to most people that communication is the number one issue in a marriage. In the typical marriage, it is misunderstanding each other that causes most of the problem rather than an actual issue. Often we make assumptions of what our partner wants or thinks that is way off base, but we base our response or emotions on this assumption. For women, we might assume that our husband's seeming disinterest means cheating, when it may just be that he is overworked and stressed out. For men, they may assume their wife's nagging means they aren't performing well as a husband, when all she really wants is him to take out the trash. We wives often expect our husbands to know what we want, and husbands often avoid making requests of their spouse or bringing up an issue because they want to avoid conflict at all costs. It may seem really simplistic to say, but if want something from your partner, tell them! And be willing to listen if you want to be heard. Wives might be surprised how a husband will respond if he knows what she wants. Conversely, a husband may be surprised how quickly a wife will be to meet his requests if he is open enough to tell her. One big mistake couples make is holding things in and not resolving the little issues until they have built up. This causes an unnecessary blowup that could have been avoided if dealt with when the problem was small. And finally, let go of your resentment. If you are holding a grudge against your spouse, your are sowing a destructive seed in your marriage. You must accept your personal responsibility in the choices that you and your partner have made together. If you have chosen to forgive a past wrong, then do so. If you chose marriage rather than living out your dream, recognize that it was your choice too, so don't resent your spouse for it. Where resentment will kill your marriage, forgiveness is the anecdote that will heal it.

2. Make Your Marriage a Top Priority:

We are busy people with a lot of responsibilities. We have work, kids, chores, bills, appointments, practices, and more to take up our time. But where does our marriage fit in? It is so easy to get caught up in the rat race and neglect our marriage, but there are major repercussions for doing so. The marriage is the nucleus of the family, and is like an anchor that holds the home and it's surroundings steady. Many parents tend to put their kids before their marriage more often than not. It takes a concerted effort from each partner to place the marriage relationship as a priority in family life. Children benefit greatly from a strong relationship between their parents. We model to them what marriage is and what it should be like. If the marriage relationship is not given the effort and attention required, life and time can erode it until the husband and wife are left with nothing to build or grow on.

3. Revive Your Love Life:

For women, a hectic day with the kids is enough to stifle any interest in a love life. For men, the same can be said for their harried work week. But even if you are tired, give effort to facilitate regular love making in your marriage. You will most likely find that although you didn't feel like it before, you will surely reap the rewards for your efforts. Rejecting your partner can cause great damage to your marriage, so give a little and get a lot in return. Make an effort to assure regular lovemaking in your marriage, even if you have to schedule it. Not only will both of you be more satisfied in your love life, but your relationship will be much closer too!

4. Share:

I've heard this statement many times," He has his money, and I have mine". But secret keeping and separate banking accounts don't have a place in good marriages. If you had siblings when you were younger, one of the hardest lessons you had to learn was "sharing". When you become married, you are making a choice to share your life with your spouse. Your life includes all that you are and all that you have. The Bible says in Matthew 6:21, "Where your treasure is, there your heart is also" No matter what you believe, this truth applies very much to many areas of marriage. Money is one of the major issues that couples argue about, and the reason is that many people place it as a higher priority than nearly anything else. Although tough financial times can be taxing on any marriage, they will never break a marriage that has priority with both husband and wife. If you treasure your marriage, your whole heart will be in it.


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    • profile image


      9 years ago

      compromise and give in each side.No ones dominates in the marriage relationship

    • profile image

      Ron Hix 

      9 years ago


    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Because men need to feel competent. If they feel that their competence is challenged, they may (1) turn a deaf ear or (2) act threatened.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Wy do men feel threatened when a problem is brought up to him by his wife?

    • RodneyGrubbs profile image


      10 years ago

      Treat your spouse as the most important person in your life. When you do this action you will give yourself a small check as to how you are treating your spouse. Great marriages are built one choice at a time.

      Helping People UP!

    • profile image


      11 years ago

      I think the key to a successful marriage is compromise, compromise, compromise....once you learn to do that, evreything else seems to fall into place.


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