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8 Behaviours That Make Your Colleagues Dislike You

Updated on November 13, 2018
Filip Stojkovski profile image

Passionately interested about the arts, especially drawing and painting. Professionally works as a web developer.

We are all sometimes guilty of behaving in a way that drives people away from us. Oftentimes those behaviors are common and easy to correct. By doing that you can stop pushing people away and let them get to know you better. You can also be more successful in your work, relationships and social life.

1. Over-Defensiveness

When we get repeatedly hurt by people, we sometimes tend to become overly defensive and interpret innocent behaviors as personal attacks. If you are overly-defensive people may view you as aggressive and overly sensitive and will not feel comfortable or good around you. They can also sense your insecurity behind your over-defensiveness.

2. Not Being a Good Listener

People want to be listened to when they are talking about something. If you generally don’t pay attention to what people are saying, or have a tendency to interrupt them and talk about yourself, they will not feel good about having a conversation with you.

3. Being Too Judgmental

Sometimes we are too judgmental without realizing it. We use judgmental and harsh language when you want to express your opinions to people you are instantly degrading their point of view or efforts. Even if you believe your judgmental behavior is just ‘honesty’, most people see it as disrespect and disregard for their feelings. You can still be honest to people without sounding too compliant, judgmental and disrespectful.

4. Too Much Gossiping

Although people are naturally curious and want to know what’s happening in other people’s lives, they generally dislike people who constantly gossip about others. Many of them find excessive gossiping uninteresting and annoying and don’t want to be a part of it. Gossiping can also send a message that you are an untrustworthy and insecure person.

5. Inflexibility

If you always want to ‘have your way’, and can’t accept anything that is different from your plans you can’t have a very good social life. Being around other people and doing stuff with other people means you will sometimes have to go out of your way and accept something that is not ideal for you. That doesn’t mean you can’t have personal boundaries and values. It’s just good to be more adaptable to changes. For example if you are out with your friends, and they all want to eat at one place, but you happen to prefer another place, the best thing would be to go with their choice.

7. Excessive Complaining

Everyone likes to complain about everyday problems every now and then. But if you do it too often you are coming off as overly negative, hateful and self-centered. Nobody wants to be in a position where they are always comforting someone. By complaining too much you are also ruining the mood of people around you. It’s OK to share your problems with other people sometimes but if you do it too often they will feel compelled to avoid you.

6. Picking Wrong Conversation Topics

People who have a lot of interests and knowledge about many things can often be guilty of this. They are often passionate about things that other people don’t care about too much and often bring that into conversations. Thing is, people want to talk about things that interest them and things they can relate to. Try to find a common topic with someone that you are talking to. That will make you more interesting and more relatable.

8. Being Too Nice and Compliant

Even if you are genuinely nice and carefully pick your words and actions trying not to offend or hurt anyone, many people can interpret it inauthentic and fake. Some people can interpret it as insecurity and a desperation for acceptance. You can still be nice and express your opinions and disagreements at the same time and people will often respect you more because of that.

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