A Satirical Look at UFO's
Unidentified Flying Objects
According to the Skeptics Dictionary, “A UFO is an unidentified flying object that has been identified as a possible or actual alien spacecraft. Such objects include meteors, disintegrating satellites, flocks of birds, aircraft, lights, weather balloons, and just about anything moving within the visible band of electromagnetism.”
So far, however, nothing has even come close to being positively identified as an alien spacecraft. At least, there has been no recurring identical UFO experience or physical evidence to prove there is such a thing.
Dr. J. Allen Hynek, astronomer, ardent supporter of UFOs and the one who coined the idiom "close encounters of the third kind," defines a UFO as: “The reported perception of an object or light seen in the sky or upon land, the appearance, trajectory, and general dynamic and luminescent behavior of which do not suggest a logical, conventional explanation and which is not only mystifying to the original percipients but remains unidentified after close scrutiny of all available evidence by persons who are technically capable of making a common sense identification, if one is possible.”
What Did He Say?
What? Let’s try deciphering that gobbledygook again. What he is apparently trying to say is, when you see something which supposedly intelligent people cannot rationally explain, then that must be a UFO!
Witnesses often claim what they saw could not be explained by known laws of physics…as if they knew anything about physics. Noted actor Dan Aykroyd, for example, claims to have seen "…high altitude, glowing magnesium discs traveling at 20,000 mph at 100,000 feet…wing to wing, edge to edge.” How he happened to know what these discs were made of and their speed and distance was never explained.
Perhaps the only reason we can’t explain these sightings might be because we do not have all the evidence, not because they are aliens coming to check up on us. If all the evidence was made available these sightings would probably be easily explained. Furthermore, just because no one can prove Mr. and Mrs. Barney Hill were not abducted by aliens, does not mean they were.
Sane, Normal People
Many UFOlogists believe if supposed eyewitnesses such as Whitley Strieber, the Hill’s and others are not stark raving mad, then they are not deluded. From the standing of they aren’t deluded, it’s an easy jump to conclude they are giving true, accurate accounts.
Well, of course this must mean all sane, normal folks are never deluded about anything! But is this the case? Not hardly. While it is reasonable to believe testimonials of sane, good hearted, normal people, having no apparent ulterior motives are being truthful, it does by no means prove they aren’t.
UFOlogists, rather than accept the findings published by “Project Blue Book,” would rather follow their own misguided, faulty logic. The U.S. Air Force, who conducted the 22 year long investigative report, concluded “...none of the unidentified objects reported and evaluated posed a threat to our national security."
Edward U. Condon, head of a scientific research team contracted by the University of Colorado to examine the UFO issue reported "…nothing has come from the study of UFOs in the past 21 years that has added to scientific knowledge...further extensive study of UFOs probably cannot be justified in the expectation that science will be advanced thereby." UFOlogists were naturally singularly unimpressed with Condon’s report as it contradicted their fantasies of ever finding a real UFO.
Instead of accepting legitimate scientific investigation results by both private institutions and government agencies, UFOlogists remain hell-bent on believing in cover up conspiracies. They especially hold the CIA responsible for, lying and covering up supposed alien contacts.
Have UFOlogists any concrete evidence for this? Apparently they don’t. They support their theories on general distrust of the government pointing out government officials have lied to the general public many times in the past.
However, the CIA seems to have lost interest in the subject since about 1950… except to encourage UFOlogists to believe there might be alien spacecraft. Belief in UFO’s, works to the government’s advantage in the case of experimental testing of new secret military aircraft.
It also seems obvious no one has ever followed the money trail in regards to UFO’s. NBC, for example, produced two dozen programs called "Project UFO," claiming to be based on Project Blue Book. NBC suggested there were documented cases of alien spacecraft sightings, the exact opposite of the Air Force’s conclusions. The programs, produced by Jack Webb of Dragnet fame, distorted and falsified information. No one accused NBC of lying. To skeptics, NBC was playing to their viewing audience.
Most unidentified flying objects have eventually been identified as hoaxes or simply aircraft, satellites, weather balloons, or natural phenomena. Some have not been dismissed basically because of inconclusive evidence. None, however, have been proven to be UFO’s by solid scientific evidence. Perhaps no logical explanation convinces UFOlogists to the contrary might be because either they don’t want to hear logical explanations or make little effort to find any.
Whatever the case may be, just because a pilot or scientist cannot think of any logical explanations for what they may have seen is not a basis for concluding they were alien spacecraft.
It should also be argued UFOs are almost always witnessed by untrained observers, hardly ever by professional astronomers. In this modern age of technologically advanced, cheap cameras available to the public, it would seem plausible someone, somewhere, would have been able to take a decent photograph or clear video. But, despite this the number of UFO sightings has diminished.
In any case, one would think a competent astronomer would have captured an image of one of these alien craft by now.