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More Bull About Hamster Generated Electricity v Nuclear Generation, and How To Accidentally Blow Up a Small City.

Updated on January 7, 2011

A Statistical Analysis of Guinea Pig v Nuclear Power Generation (Refuting Keith S' Flawed Reasoning)

I found the research in the recent Hub "Are Hamsters a better alternative than uranium for electrical power?" biased, incomplete and seriously flawed. I conducted a more conclusive comparison trial at home with Guinea Pigs (Hamsters) kindly loaned/ donated by neighbourhood children.(Some haven't even missed them yet!)With the uranium mass test I used a block of uranium 238 of the same weight of the average of ten Guinea Pigs (GPs) running nearby wheels linked to the hubs of Stirmly-Archer bicycle generators. Admittedly the GPs initially put out power with voltages in the 1.8 - 2.93 range and amperages of 0.13 - 0.67 while the uranium wheel showed no measurable output, but within a very few minutes the GP output dropped to zero, and shortly afterwards their fur dropped off, as did their flesh.I then moulded the 238 into a core rod and placed in a small breeder reactor that I'd knocked up in a friend's garage out of old refrigerator parts (Knocked up is a Kiwi term meaning to put together casually and in a hurry, a quite different meaning to that of North America, although the same description could fit.)I then rang him from home and got him to lower the rod. I assure you that the ensuing release of energy was far greater than that of ten Hamsters on treadmills and looked quite spectacular from forty miles away.(Come to think of it, I may have inadvertently used U235)

However, for fairness of comparison I stuffed ten further GPs into the core tube of another breeder reactor in my own garage (I've plenty of old 'fridges,) and nothing happened even though I left them there an hour. when I took them out at the end of this time the survivors bit me!

The third experiment that I conducted was to break the uranium into very small pieces and insert them into the GPs rectally. This really fired 'em up and I got as much power generated in the two minutes they lived as I would expect to get in 18 months of normal GP activity.A similar result was achieved with chilli sauce, which is of course far cheaper than uranium 238, and means that many of the GPs can be re-used after a suitable recovery period.

This last seems the best way to generate Hamster power although the cost effectiveness of selling used uranium loaded Guinea Pigs to Iran v having to dispose of chilli fired ones (which have virtually no commercial value) yourself needs to be explored.

I'm sure that Keith meant well with his Hub and it certainly opened the way for further research into what is rapidly becoming an urgent topic in this day and age, but as you can see it was cunningly manipulative in its bias. Any article with Photos of Dick Cheney and Al Gore opposing a move is a sure way to turn the majority towards that move.

For those of you who may consider my tag of Sex, Sins and Rock and Roll misleading, have you ever put two Guinea Pigs of opposite sex together? Disgusting! and ten minutes later you've got five million even more disgusting Guinea Pigs.

(You may care to check the following link

http://www.whatpowercrisis.co.nz/mini-home-fission-reactor/ )


My (late) friend has just lowered the uranium rod.
My (late) friend has just lowered the uranium rod.
Hamster-seeking uranium capsule inserting device. (Double  scale)
Hamster-seeking uranium capsule inserting device. (Double scale)
Hamster two minutes after being found by the above missile
Hamster two minutes after being found by the above missile
"Wait until I get my hands on *&^%$#@! who shot that rocket at me!!(The same hamster the next day)
"Wait until I get my hands on *&^%$#@! who shot that rocket at me!!(The same hamster the next day)

I consider the content of this hub trite, senseless, and an insult to serious writers in the way that it lowers the standard of Hub Pages.

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