Can behaviors be changed completely?
Time for change
After a series years of study, researchers have found some disturbing results. Addicts after being diagnosed with chronic diseases, still don't make effort to reduce their addiction behaviors. In fact, 90% of the patient recur to old habits immediately. Reason, many don't know the steps to reforming their behavior. They give up easily due to lack of knowledge. The idea of a quicker death scares them, though. In fact, the topic is very rarely spoken of among addicts.
They live on the belief of a lucky life to make it till 70 years.
False hopes, faith without work is dead. For people to change, it's required that they have adequate steps to reform progressively. This especially encourages them to be able to quit other behaviors as well.
" If I was able to quit smoking, is drinking going to give me a headache ? "
It takes courage and determination.
Persons with good character traits are called "presentable". The reason, they can interact with other people at ease and get into the least conflicts. They also find it easy solve problems which they and the people in their surroundings face.
To be good you need to work for it, let alone being perfect. No one does not have a behavioral problem. And no one, at least, does not have trouble trying to solve their behavioral problems. If you are looking forward to behavior changing, You have to understand, behavioral change is a process, not an event. This process is tough. The recipe, not so appealing, I tell ya. It takes a lot of perseverance,denial and hard work to succeed.
Typical character traits have proven burdensome to mend. why?
According to Abigail Brenner M. D. a writer, and researcher at Psychology today, an action is an essential piece in making a change, which on the other hand proves a heavy duty. She claims to be heavily fascinated when people claim that,in order for one to accomplish change all that one has to do is to change.
Let's take a look at change.
Change can be defined as,-to improve or to become different.
Changing one's behavior, therefore, can be described as having a different behavior. In a lame man's language, becoming someone different. People can NOT surely train themselves to become other people! In fact, it is very rare for a person to find another with a character like his own. This explains why one's behavior can be difficult to change.
According to John C,Lilly, M.D. a researcher with the National Institutes of Health and the Maryland Psychiatric Research Center, all Humans who reach adulthood are programmed Bio-computers.I was impressed by the term programmed.
To my understanding which might not differ from the majority, I'm sure, the idea being relayed by the physiologist, was that people tend to have strict mentality and behavior upon reaching adulthood. In other words, adults are principled (with firm beliefs).
Abigail Brenner seconds this and adds that the "Bio-Computers", do have the ability to self-program and hence create new programs and revise old programs. She believes that peoples' reality,
"is a creation of our beliefs, feelings, and thoughts. When we allow our self to open to the unknown, we release our self from what we already think, feel, and believe. When there is a field of “emptiness” where we are able to see space rather than the barrier, new possibilities can emerge; we are free to go beyond our limiting beliefs." Source: psychology today
This implies that people have the ability to choose what they will to do and choose their own principles and beliefs. I agree with Abigail, fully, behavior change is heavily influenced by beliefs.Humans do have the ability to study and understand their own behaviors. In fact, it is very healthy to identify and control one's behaviors.
make a perfect approach
Old habits surely die hard, people with these character traits find themselves being discriminated against often, but mind you, they find nothing unconventional about their usual habits. This is very dangerous towards building their self-esteem.
I do not imply that people should be treated like animals. An animal, though, that is easily to change its unconventional behaviors is a pet cat.
A pet cat, a small animal, cute, but if not well trained. Matches a terrorist's profile. Stay with a cat that hasn't been trained to receive "long-calls" outside, for example. The cat will literally release a bomb inside your house. Mind you, they know how to hide...... under your bed. The poop will literally chase you out of the house. Wear protective clothing, then go clean its dirt. As if to test your anger, it does it again and again. Until well trained to defecate outside.
Even if you love your pet. It's most likely, if you are prone to anger, you might throw it away. It can literally give you a heart attack.
The solution is usually quite simple.
- Lock the cat outside.Near the place you would prefer it to take as its Loo.
- Feed it from there quite often.
- Before long the cat gets used to relieving itself where you want it. Cats are civilized, they even bury what they see disgusting.
Once it adapts to its new defecating area, it usually hates going to other places. You won't have to worry anymore about it messing up your house.You will hear it in the middle of the night knocking down objects in the struggle to get outside. Unless. of course when fully locked in the house. And there you have it behavioral change.
The cats' behavior was turned by changing its environment. Locking it outside and changing its feeding positions. Environments play a huge role in mending our behaviors. To break the behaviors we are required to first changing our environments.
Discriminating against someone due to their behaviors is never healthy. If you beat up the cat for example, do you think this might change the cats' disgusting behavior ?
The mind says it can change itself
The direction Lilly the researcher's life and work took, according to Abigail, was mainly based on a question that he had asked himself while he was young,
“How can the mind render itself sufficiently objective to study itself?”
I was intrigued by this question. Trying to rephrase it in my most appropriate programmer's language, I came up with,
" How can a computer be programmed objectively to study its software and programming skills?"
This, from my high technology updates or my old-school cultural lifestyle, I understand, has not yet been achieved yet and would take approximately another maybe 100 invention years.
Then I thought to myself, it must have been the reason he referred the adults as Bio-computers! In my opinion, humans, based on Lilly's question, can also be referred to super-computers.
Abigail then, explains through the belief that we are able to "self-program" and revive our old self into a better and more presentable character by changing our belief, feelings, and thoughts. The mind has the ability to study itself, find its problem, solve its problem and also make its life easier. Not to forget the mind has the ability to change itself. All it takes is the decision to change and hard work.
Process of change
Self-behavior change starts with identifying the behavior to mend. In this case, you are required:
- Identify the disorder.
Having several cats and still having a house pooping problem, it would occur to you that not all cats actually have the disgusting behavior. You have to identify which cat needs to be taught some manners.
Our minds are like buildings occupied by several behaviors that make you-you. Eating habits, smoking habits, sleeping habits, speaking habits, walking habits. Many disorders are caused by some of the common behaviors. Wrong sleeping habits, for example, cause neck ache. If the problems persist then the behavior is part of the mind. They can be said to be programmed into the mind. Eating habits, for example, it's the reason they take long to reform.
To do away with smoking cigarettes, drinking, negative language, or any other behavior that you find annoying to other people, requires patience and hard work.
- Find the cause of the problem.
Each behavior is acquired through experience. The elderly tend to know how to control their feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. A child raised by an elderly tend to be more presentable than children brought up by underage parents.
Our environments play a heavy role in forming our character. If a child is raised near a bar or a nightclub, he tends to develop certain behaviors towards drunkards. On growing up many tend to fight against such behaviors as drinking. While children raised near sport activity centers or in a musical family tend to develop positive mentality towards the activities. In fact, many of the talented people were not born with such talents they were influenced by their childhood environments.
Environments, though, can play a negative role in building our character. A child sent to a school well known for its undermanned students, don't tend to come out good.
Our friends also. Friends who are heavy smokers,drinkers or talk a lot of vulgar have great influence to us.
- Look for a solution for the problem.
This may even force you to change your environments. Your working places, your friends, and even your home area.
- If you are reading this and have identified the behaviors you would like to change, thumbs-up. You are in your first steps of a very progressive change.
If you have figured out your mode of conduct and are looking forward to reform, you are on the right track.
You could visit Psychology today for a start, they have very informative, well described and realistic ways of reformation.
There are very well organized blogs on how to change. In addition, you will be able to interact with some of the therapists they offer and get help through your reformation process.
There are those of us who need to help them people, those who do not seem to conform. We have to help them to change, but how?