Abuse- The Affects
Abuse - Different Categories
When starting to explore the many types of abuse that exist in this world of ours; right off the top of my brain....I could think of several. Abuse of power, body, verbal, emotional, political, justice, physical, alcohol, drugs and the list goes on. This article will touch on a few of these which are not always common to seeing with the eye.
We know that the word Abuse has a signficant bearing on any word that is used with it. This word probably carries with it the most harmful of all meanings, I think. Let's think about what the word means in general....
Abuse: this word carries with it a sense of harm....to misuse something so badly that you harm it...
The worse part of abuse is the kind you cannot see with the natural eye, unless of course you know the signs. What is even worse to me, is a person who has a tendency to "Abuse" and they are doing so without realizing it... How do you help these people? That is a good question and sometimes it never gets addressed. Sometimes there is no justice for another persons power of abuse. There are times when it is allowed and considered as acceptable...
Cycle of Abuse
Emotional and Verbal Abuse
We have all seen someone who is an Emotional Abuser or either the person who is being Emotionally Abused. This can be described as someone who has been slowly, but surely intimidated, belittled, with constant berating by another person. We can name some names here; for instance when an individual is being told that they are dumb, stupid, and that they never do anything right. The abuser usually uses destructive words verbally but can also act in ways to cause emotional abuse. When this happens over and over, it can give the recipient of the "Abuse" lose of self and personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the bone so to speak, the very core of a person, causing scares that go far deeper and most lasting than a physical one could. There is research to this which has proved this effect to the individuals self evaluation. The normal emotional abuses, insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until they are incapable of judging realistically.
Eventually the recipient will start blaming themselves for the abuse. In a marriage or relationship; this sometimes cause the individual to be more and more attached to the Abuser. They can become so sure that they are worthless, they believe themselves no one else would desire them. This can also mean they have a fear of being alone.
Types of Emotional Abuse
- This is when the Abuser demands that the person who is Abused take care of their needs over and above everyone and everything else.
- It can be a demand of constant attention, constant appeasement from the Abused, constant all of their free time.
- Nothing is every enough....regardless of how much is given,
- Constant berating, constant criticism, constant reminding that you are not fulfilling their needs.
- Blaming, ordering, name-calling, threatening processes
- These aggressive behaviors are normally obvious and directed at the person being abused.
- The abuser attempts to judge, criticize, and invalidate the abused which in turn makes the abused feel unequal and this is an unhealthy relationship...
- This behavior may also take another more indirect form and be disguised as being the help mate, the encouraging force. While...criticizing, proving, analyzing, advising and always questioning the abused person.
- The Abuser may start arguments.
- Constant conflict with others.
- They may be addicted to turmoil as it can bring excitement.
- A person's emotional needs are denied and sometimes when they need it most and it is done with the need to hurt, punish or humiliate.
- The abuser will deny anything that has been said for instance, name calling, or belittling and even say that do not know what the Abused person is referring to..they are in denial of their actions.
- Refusing to talk, listen or communicate (withholding) is another form of denial...emotionally with drawing and this is punishment...the silent treatment...
- Another area of denial is when the abuser will not listen any suggestions, viewpoints or feeling other than their own.
It is known that denying can be one of the most damaging of all because it can lead to the lowering of ones self-esteem and creates conflict, the invalidation of reality and experiences and you can begin to mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experiences.
This process can lead a person to lose their own confidence and the most valuable survival tool they have....their mind....
There are other forms of Emotional Abuse to include but not limited to: dominating, invalidation, emotional blackmail, unpredictable responses. I wonder if we realize sometimes that our very own actions can determine how someone else feels especially if they are already being abused by someone and we do not even take the time to realize what our actions are.
This is probably the easiest to recognize but yet sometimes the abused will not acknowledge that they have been abused to another individual. It is usually an accident of some sort.
We know that Physical Abuse is named as assult and battery or violence that usually results in bodily harm, pain and sometimes impairment.
In physical abuse most of the time is is someone the person knows. The abuser sometimes uses violence to gain power or control over the victim. We know that one main category is domestice violence and we are all familiar with the what the results can be for spouses who suffer from this behavior. It is often denied and often the abused will think "they deserve" it because they are also suffering from emotional abuse as well. The physical abuser will also live in denial that they have done exactly what the person being abused will say they did, if it is not noticable. For instance...you choked me...No, I did not choke you...this kind of thing.
There are physical abusers who will then be so sorry, cry and beg forgiveness. A lot of times the person being abused will feel sorry for them and cling...cling to the abusive nature because they feel insecure and would be alone without them...life is not meant to be lived in a physical relationship. Sometimes the victims are abused sexually, verbally, emotionally at the same time. I can only imagine the pain and self destructive thinking this casuses.
My Note and Symptoms of Abuse
Notes: These are my findings from study and are not intended for diagnosis of any individual. Having taken some nursing courses and with this particular study, I hope to raise self awareness and desire to pass on this information to you. It is intended that those of us who are blessed might be able to recognize these behaviors and possibly help in an abused person, getting help from someone who is trained in the field.
There are other types of abuse which are not mentioned in this article.
Depression, frustration, anxiety, no self-confidence, no self-esteem, withdrawn, easily offended, thinks other people are after them, nervousness, fear, shame, loss, denial. Thoughts that the abuser will improve and it will get better, but it never does.
- Life Coaching: Life Coaching Framework
Life Coaching it similiar to personal growth...it is something we could all use at times to help us see clearly