Abuse Has Many Faces, Symptoms And Results
The Common Statistics Of Abuse
When starting to explore the many types of abuse that exist in this world of ours; right off the top of my brain...we know several. Abuse of power, body, verbal, emotional, political, justice, physical, alcohol, drugs and the list goes on. Regardless, one agreement we have for sure is that abuse has no positive results.
The statistics indicate that there is no certain type of family, race, man, women, or child classification. It can happen in all lifestyles, and to any person, rich, poor, or intelligent.
This article will touch on a few of these which are not always common to see with the eye.
Cycle of Abuse
The World Known Definition of Abuse
We know that the word Abuse has a significant bearing on any word that is used with it. This word probably carries with it the most harmful of all meanings, I think. Let's think about what the word means in general...
Abuse: this word carries with it a sense of harm....to misuse something so badly that you harm it...
The worse part of abuse is the kind you cannot see with the natural eye unless of course, you know the signs. What is even worse to me, is a person who has a tendency to "Abuse" and they are doing so without realizing it...
How do you help these people? That is a good question and sometimes it never gets addressed. Often, there is no justice for another person's power of abuse.
There are times when it is allowed and considered acceptable...
People Are Often Blamed and Made To Be Ashamed
The Emotionally Abused Individual
An emotionally abused individual does not always indicate around others they are being abused. They are not always easy to spot and certainly not always easy to help.
The individual can be described as someone who has been slowly but surely intimidated, belittled, with constant berating by another person.
Depression, frustration, anxiety, no self-confidence, no self-esteem, withdrawn, easily offended, think other people are after them, nervousness, fear, shame, loss, denial. Thoughts that the abuser will improve and it will get better, but it never does.
There are many words that can be used, but nothing positive exists. The hope for the abused is for them to decides to free themselves of the abuser, or the abuser seeks and receives help.
It is wise to note that if the abused person has been abused for a great length of time, they may also need professional counseling to get back to a normal existence.
Abuse Brings Sadness and Pain That Can Often Be Seen
Emotional Abuse Gives Loss Of Self
When this happens over and over, it can give the recipient of the "Abuse" loss of self and personal value.
Emotional abuse cuts to the bone so to speak, the very core of a person, causing scares that go far deeper and most lasting than a physical one could.
There is research to this which has proven this effect on the individuals self-evaluation. The normal emotional abuses, insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until they are incapable of judging realistically.
Eventually, the recipient will start blaming themselves for the abuse. In a marriage or relationship; this sometimes causes the individual to be more and more attached to the abuser.
They can become so sure that they are worthless, they believe no one else would desire them. This can also mean they have a fear of being alone.
Anger And Pointing Finger Is Not Acceptable
Types Of Emotional Abuse
- This is when the Abuser demands that the person who is Abused take care of their needs over and above everyone and everything else.
- It can be a demand for constant attention, constant appeasement from the Abused, constant all of their free time.
- Nothing is every enough....regardless of how much is given,
- Constant berating, constant criticism, constant reminding that you are not fulfilling their needs.
- Blaming, ordering, name-calling, threatening processes
- These aggressive behaviors are normally obvious and directed at the person being abused.
- The abuser attempts to judge, criticize, and invalidate the abused which in turn makes the abused feel unequal and this is an unhealthy relationship...
- This behavior may also take another more indirect form and be disguised as being the helpmate, the encouraging force. While...criticizing, proving, analyzing, advising and always questioning the abused person.
- The Abuser may start arguments.
- Constant conflict with others.
- They may be addicted to turmoil as it can bring excitement.
Additional Signs Of An Abuser
The abuser can have some of the characteristics of a
- narcissist, who is excessively interested in themselves and their needs
- a person who has a controlling nature
- they can be verbally, emotionally and physically abusive
- no responsibility for their own actions
- unrealistic expectation
- can want forced attention
- very or highly sensitive
- uses destructive words verbally
- uses the blame game
- sees no destructive characteristics within themselves
- A person's emotional needs are denied and sometimes when they need it most and it is done with the need to hurt, punish or humiliate.
- The abuser will deny anything that has been said, for instance, name calling, or belittling and even say that do not know what the Abused person is referring to..they are in denial of their actions.
- Refusing to talk, listen or communicate (withholding) is another form of denial...emotionally withdrawing and this is punishment...the silent treatment...
- Another area of denial is when the abuser will not listen to any suggestions, viewpoints or feeling other than their own.
It is known that denying can be one of the most damaging of all because it can lead to the lowering of one's self-esteem and creates conflict, the invalidation of reality and experiences and you can begin to mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experiences.
This process can lead a person to lose their own confidence and the most valuable survival tool they have....their mind...
There are other forms of emotional abuse to include but not limited to dominating, invalidation, emotional blackmail, unpredictable responses.
This is probably the easiest to recognize but yet sometimes the abused will not acknowledge that they have been abused to another individual. It is usually an accident of some sort.
We know that Physical Abuse is named as assault and battery or violence that usually results in bodily harm, pain and sometimes impairment.
In physical abuse most of the time it is someone the person knows. The abuser sometimes uses violence to gain power or control over the victim.
Domestic Violence or Abuse
We know that one main category is named domestic violence and we are all familiar with what the results can be for spouses who suffer from this behavior. It is often denied and often the abused will think "they deserve" it because they are also suffering from emotional abuse as well.
The physical abuser will also live in denial that they have done exactly what the person being abused will say they did if it is not noticeable. For instance...you choked me...No, I did not choke you...this kind of thing.
There are physical abusers who will then be so sorry, cry and beg forgiveness. A lot of times the person being abused will feel sorry for them and cling. Cling to the abusive nature because they feel insecure and would be alone without them.
Life is not meant to be lived in a physically abusive relationship. Sometimes the victims are abused sexually, verbally, emotionally at the same time.
One can only imagine the pain and self-destructive thinking this causes, and it is no way to live a good life.
Notes: These are my findings from study and are not intended for diagnosis of any individual. Having taken some nursing courses and with this particular study, I hope to raise self-awareness and desire to pass on this information to you.
It is intended that those of us who are blessed might be able to recognize these behaviors and possibly help an abused person. Just by listening and advising then to get help from someone who is trained in the field.
There are other types of abuse which are not mentioned in this article.