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Befriending New Roomates When Your Shy

Updated on August 14, 2010

Roomate shyness

Going to college and having new roomates can be a painful experience for some shy people. Some of us just tend to be more shy than others. You have to understand that this is normal even for people that may not be that shy. This is something new and the unknown things in life can scare us a bit. The other person may just be as shy as you are. You must keep that in mind. Some people are more introverted and others are more extroverted. Either way the majority of people may feel a bit shy even if they are extroverted(more social) then you are. This may not always be the case, but can be many times....Fear is something that everyone goes through and shyness is a part of fear. Its not entirely the same thing, but relates in some ways...You must keep a steady mind and everything will be fine...


This is going to sound very cliche, but its very true. You should always be yourself and never try and change. If you are shy don't try and act like your someone else to the other person. Eventually the other person will realize that you may be more of a shy person and may not like the idea that you were putting on an act. I am not saying you should attain your shyness and say nothing. Just do not try and put on an act for the other person is all that I am saying. Being yourself is what you should always do 24/7. Acting like another person for someone else should never be required. Of course unless your trying to be an actor! haha....No, but seriously be yourself...


Even though your shy you should try and share possible common interests with new roommates. Maybe you like to watch Jerry springer or something....Perhaps you enjoy playing video games. You could discuss different games you like to play. Try and share common interests with them if any. This is vital to be less shy cause they will know you better and you will know them better. You will basically be opening the doors to your roommates with small talk.


Shy people often tend to be self conscious or just afraid to talk. There are many other people out there like this and your roommate may be just as shy if not more than you are. Don't be afraid to speak your mind about something. Obviously you do not want to appear stuck up. Some shy people may tend to seem stuck up cause they don't reply to someone or don't say much. This may make the other person think you don't want to talk because you stuck up even though your really just shy. Try and be more open. NOT so open that your are telling them your life story and every little detail...! Just try and keep it casual and be confident and you should be fine with your new room mates.

A lot of people go through this where they have room mates. Its not such a big deal. You will get used to it. Just try and get to know your room mates. This is a new experience and of course most new ones are unknown so we fear them. If you do find your room mates are mean and you do not like them then it may be better off not talking them to them so much. For the most part you should be able to be friend them if you share common interests and are both nice people. There are some room mates that drink and are a bit corrupt. A lot of these people are just not worth your time. Just remember do not stereotype people and make assumptions. You should be able to make small talk and get to know them better. There are some cases with some room mates that you may not like, but you will not know if you do not try and talk to them.

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    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 6 years ago from California

      Most of my friends think I am an extravert. I'm not. I have found in a situation with lots of uncertainty having a list of safe questions will make you look confident. Questions like:

      What's your favorite dessert? What is your favorite past time? What influenced you into coming here? If you could have dinner with 5 people,anyone, living or not who would you choose and why?

      Stay away from yes/no questions.

    • glassvisage profile image

      glassvisage 6 years ago from Northern California

      I think this is great. It's important to be yourself because you will always be able to find a friend that fits well with you and you don't want to always have to try hard to make and keep friends.

    • petiteletters profile image

      petiteletters 7 years ago

      Reading this has really helped boost my confidence in befriending my new roommates. Thanks for writing such a helpful hub.