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Can't? Or Won't?

Updated on February 19, 2014
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When I was growing up, my mother and step-father never let me or my sister say "I can't" to any situation or thing. If we did happen to say that phrase, our parents would always respond with "'Can't' never did anything". The point was to never give up and that tenacity pays off with lessons learned. They tried to teach us that we could do anything, as long as we maintained the right mindset and remained persistent. My step-father ingrained into me and my sister that, if there remains a will to accomplish something, there will always be a way to accomplish something.

As an adult and Navy veteran, I have kept this lesson with me. I tend to be more tenacious than others. I absolutely refuse to let anything defeat me, if it is something that I truly and deeply wish to achieve. While in the Navy, no workcenter supervisor, Leading Petty Officer, Chief Petty Officer or Division Officer wanted to hear that a sailor "couldn't" do something. No matter how small or large the task can be, the military is very much "results driven". If a sailor is incapable of doing something alone, he/she should request assistance. One of the primary duties of petty officers and Chiefs is to help junior sailors learn to overcome obstacles. If a sailor is tenacious in attitude about not being tenacious in tasks, it will be reflected in his/her periodic evaluations, and therefore, it can prevent him/her from advancing in rank.

In one of my jobs after the Navy, I worked hard enough at getting results that my chain of command rewarded me with a supervisory position. Actually, my Program Manager utilized my skills for a dual role. I supervised my production team, and I assisted him in a number of administrative tasks. There wasn't anything in that job that I couldn't do, because I refused to say "I can't", even if I had never attempted certain tasks before and was confused at first. I wouldn't let anything get the better of me, and that is how I led my team. I refused to hear "I can't". I instructed. I taught. I advised, and when I needed to, I shoved, shouted and even used my 6-foot-2 (almost 6'4" in my boots) and 260 lb. size to intimidate my guys to be more tenacious. I just refuse to hear "I can't".

(Note about the video: I just wanted to add that I was not a SEAL. However, I found Mr. Rutherford's comments and advice in his video to be perfectly in line with the point that I am trying to make here, especially with the two points of believing in yourself and not whining.)

"I Can't" Means "I Won't"

I can't win; so I won't compete.
I can't succeed; so I won't try.
I can't finish on time; so I won't start.
I can't understand; so I won't (or don't) care.

On the flip-side, I also abhor hearing "you can't". No one should ever tell me that I can't do something, because I will put myself through pain and torture to prove that person wrong. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not a lawbreaker nor do I disregard rules and regulations of the job ... much. (no more than any other person). My thoughts are "Just because you won't doesn't mean that I can't" and "Move over and watch me do what you won't". I may not get it right the first time ... or even the second time. I may not even accomplish it in front of the person that says I can't, but in the end, I get it done.

So, the next time someone tells you "I can't" or "you can't", get in there and prove to him/her that it can be done. Just like the sayings go, "Where there's a will, there's a way" and "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again". In the end, I ask everyone this: Is it that you "can't"? Or is it because you won't? Because "Can't" never did anything!

© 2012 Charles Dawson

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    • chuckd7138 profile image
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      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      Wise words from the little green guy, and thank you!

    • LEWMaxwell profile image

      Leslie Schock 5 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

      "There is no try only do" - Yoda. ;) Positive thought process. Nice job.

    • chuckd7138 profile image
      Author

      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      Absolutely! We either believe that we will fail, or we believe that we can succeed. It is all up to us.

    • grinnin1 profile image

      grinnin1 5 years ago from st louis,mo

      My favorite teacher in middle school would not allow us to say "i can't" , and it made me recognize how much we all said it. When I became an art teacher, this was a rule posted and espoused on a daily basis. It is good for kids and adults to have to rethink what they tell themselves, and realize how self defeating this string of words can be.

    • chuckd7138 profile image
      Author

      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      Well, if you read my previous hub, you will see that my step-father might have instilled great values, but he views on instilling discipline were vastly different. But yes, your comment is funny. Thank you, The Frog, for reading and commenting.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      We must have had the same parents Chuck! LMBO

      The Frog

    • chuckd7138 profile image
      Author

      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      Great point, rf! I would imagine the same could be said of Arleigh Burke as well. Thank you for reading and commenting!

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Good hub. I'm a Navy vet too. Imagine if Admiral Nimitz said I cant. We never would have won the Battle of Midway.

    • chuckd7138 profile image
      Author

      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      rcrumple, I apologize for my misspelling of your name. My abilities to read and type on my phone seems to have become diminished. Please forgive me.

    • chuckd7138 profile image
      Author

      Charles Dawson 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      rcrumble & B, thank you both for reading. And thank you for your kind comments. They really do mean a lot to me.

    • B in blogs profile image

      B in blogs 5 years ago from Alabama, USA

      Growing up my folks had a similar retort that stuck with me, " Can't never could do anything." And I read once that if you "bury" things you say you can't do, the abilities will grow on the spot. Good article!

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      I like this! It goes along with my philosophy of "do'ers" and "try'ers." Those who do succeed. Those who try start with failure in mind as an option. Eliminate the option, just do, and then measure the degree of success you achieve!

      You had some very wise parents! Good Hub! Up & interesting!