Change Your Life This Year

"Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."

Douglas Noel Adams

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"Nothing happens until something moves."

~Albert Einstein~

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Have you ever been dissatisfied with your life?

You may not be doing anything differently than you were before you felt this way, yet somehow all the colour has been washed from your world.

It may be hard for you to put a label on it. As you wander around, going through the motions, you scream inwardly that you need something to change. NOW!

This gnawing unhappiness didn't happen all at once. You were going along just fine, minding your own business, thinking things were okay. You were feeling optimistic, or at least content. The shift was so gradual that you didn't notice at first. Initially, you thought you were having a few bad days. You felt, 'off'. Days turned into weeks. That unhappiness and dissatisfaction grew and grew until it became the prevelant theme of your life. Eventually, it began to seep into your relationships, finances and health.

If someone asked you to describe your symptoms, they probably sounded like these typical ones:

• Boredom or restlessness that increases with time
• Waning interest in things you used to enjoy
• Frustration, feeling 'stuck in a rut'
• Confusion, not knowing what to do
• Decrease of mental and physical energy
• Feelings of depression or wondering if you're depressed

"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it."

James Truslow Adams

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it.

I want to have lived the width of it as well."

Diane Ackerman

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Joseph Addison 

I don't personally know of anyone who has not gone through a dark period like the one mentioned above, at least a couple of times in their life. Hopelessness and that sense of not knowing what to do reign supreme. It feels awful. It feels like you'll go crazy if something doesn't change immediately.

The good news is that you can do something about it. You can make the changes that you so desperately long for.

Be Still

Find a way to just sit and be peaceful. People often ignore their inner guidance when they are experiencing turmoil. Often times, it can be difficult to access it because the mind likes to hang onto problems and regurgitate them endlessly. A way to fix that is to become still and listen to what your instincts are trying to tell you. If you find it challenging to quiet your mind, try deep breathing or meditation. Do whatever works for you. Relax and hear what your gut has to say. You will likely get clues on how to help yourself.

Change Your Perspective

Recently, I read about an exercise that suggested seeing five different perspectives on a problem or goal. For example, if you're stressed about a financial problem, try looking at it through other people's eyes. How would your banker see it? What advice would your father give you? How would a trusted friend or mentor look at things? You don't have to use what you come up with, but you might find a solution there. You also may get a fresh, different idea of your own as a result of stepping outside your habitual viewpoints.

Do Things Differently

You can start small.  Instead of reading the paper with your morning coffee, try sitting quietly and enjoy the view outside your window.  Or pay attention to how your family interacts as they start their day.  Take a different route to work; garden or walk intead of parking yourself in front of the T.V.  Heck, if all you can manage is brushing your teeth with your other hand, start there.  Shake things up to break the cycle of boring, rutted routine.  You'll be changing what you're paying attention to and your mind will begin to let go and allow fresh thoughts in.

Engage With Others

There is a tendency to withdraw when we are feeling unhappy and dissatisfied.  We become disconnected from others and sink deeper into the mire of our rut.  You may have to force yourself at first, but don't worry.  Again, you can start small if you need to.  Start with asking the store clerk how she is while you're checking out, move up to a five or ten minute conversation with a friend or relative.  Increase your re-entry into the world of people and you will become social again when you feel ready. 

Find Something Interesting to Do

As it may be hard to feel interested in anything, this may take a bit of thought and looking around at various events and/or hobbies.  Is there something you've always wanted to try?  Now's the time to explore that.  Anything that will bring your spark back is good.  If your passion for something returns along with, all the better.  Perfect, in fact.

Increase Self-Care

Get your hair done, file your nails, eat well and exercise.  Do the things that people who take care of themselves do.  If you've been having trouble sleeping, this will help with that, too.  Above all, watch your self-talk.  Say good things to and about yourself.  You're an important person going through an important transition.  You deserve praise, not put-downs.

Play, Have Fun, Laugh!

This is perhaps the most important tip of all.  Having fun relieves stress and monotony.  Your sunny disposition will return and you'll be able to view the future through more optimistic eyes.  Your mind and body will feel refreshed, and your life will flow more smoothly.  It will likely help you 'not sweat the small stuff'.  After all, life is too short to stress over things that aren't that important in the bigger scheme of things.

Get Help If Necessary

Please don't hesitate to seek help if you need it.  If you are seriously depressed, go see your doctor. 

"The best way to get something done is to begin." ~Anonymous~

"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." ~Confucius~

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." ~Mother Teresa quotes~

"Our greatest battles are that with our own minds." ~Jameson Frank~

"In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements." ~Mao Tse-Tung~

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

"Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." ~St. Francis of Assisi~

"The only cure for grief is action." ~George Henry Lewis~

"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action." ~Anthony Robbins quotes~

"Success often comes to those who dare to act. It seldom goes to the timid who are ever afraid of the consequences." ~Jawaharlal Nehru~