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Kids Say the Funniest Things!

Updated on September 8, 2014
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Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.

Out of the mouths of babes

We've heard the phrase many times, "out of the mouths of babes." This is often said because children basically tell it like it is. They are honest, sincere and quite amusing.

They didn't have any formal life training except, what they learned from adults and their friends.

They are truly smarter than we think. We stare in amazement, when the spoken words they share with us, go from their lips to our ears.

We try not to laugh at some comments, but there are those times when we can't hold our outburst back.

We laugh, they do it again and again.

Carissa and her Pre-K students
Carissa and her Pre-K students | Source

Questions immediately begin to ponder inside our head. We are literally in awe of the intelligent or witty statement presented to us by a child who is much shorter, yet more sharp than we are.

"How did they know that?"

"Where did they learn that?"

"My child is a genius!"

"Oooops, maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud!"

"They got their smarts from their mother."

"Did they seriously just say that?"

"This kid should be a stand-up comic!"

Michelle - Kindergarten Teacher
Michelle - Kindergarten Teacher | Source

Elementary, my dear Watson...

Both of my daughters teach elementary school. My youngest daughter teaches kindergarten and my oldest daughter teaches Pre-K.

They enjoy their careers and the many challenges that go along with being a teacher of young, innocent, naive children.

Carissa and Michelle share stories with me frequently about their children. Such as witty sayings, shocking statements or sincere phrases.

Kids are simply amazing. The way their brains work is different than adults. They just speak their mind.

My neighborhood is filled with young children. I'm usually found outdoors right in the middle of the chaos, confusion and fun times. I've heard all types of tales.

Parents and grandparents seem to marvel at the words, sentences and expressions that come from their loved ones little mouths.

As adults we could all learn lessons from children. Never underestimate what children say to you. Listen, really listen and we could all learn a thing or two or three.

Kids are very wise...

  • If I can't pay attention to you maybe it's because you are boring me.
  • You really know how nice your neighbors are when they buy lemonade from your stand. If they buy two cups of lemonade I won't let the dog poop in their yard.
  • It's more fun to spend your grandparents money than your own.
  • Food always tastes better when it's not eaten at the dinner table.
  • You should always check closets and under the bed, take no chances.
  • Sleeves are considered disposable hankies. Mom likes to do laundry.
  • If you don't like the birthday boy/girl, don't go to the party.
  • It's OK to stay up late, sleep is overrated.
  • Naps are no longer needed after 3 years old.
  • Whiners are not fun friends.
  • If the food is green it probably won't taste good.
  • If the drink has color it will taste yummy!
  • Dance until your feet hurt!
  • Fresh air is good for you. Spend time outdoors everyday.
  • You can't pretend to be funny. Either you are or aren't.
  • Who cares what happened yesterday? Today is a new start.
  • Not everyone wants to be your friend. That's OK.
  • Grandmother's don't mind when you repeat stories. Other people do.
  • Make up the rules as you go along. It's OK to break the rules if no one gets hurt.
  • Always ask for extra sprinkles and whipped topping.
  • Gum belongs in your mouth or the trash, not in your hair.
  • Feed your pets and give them water, they get hungry too.
  • If you like the movie it's OK to watch it over and over and over again.
  • It's OK to want to win every time, but there are times when you will lose.
  • Stories are fun to make up, but not when you are being mean to someone.
  • Sing loud enough until your throat hurts.
  • Don't believe everything you hear or everything you think.
  • Don't drink to much before bedtime.
  • It's a good idea to pee before you get into a car.
  • Don't assume a teacher is pregnant because she is "thick."
  • It's OK to pick your nose and sample, it taste like candy.
  • It's OK to color outside the lines as long as you are trying your best.
  • Sometimes the biggest fights are over the silliest things.
  • It doesn't matter how many toys you have, as long as you have fun playing with the ones you already have.
  • The dog farts a lot!
  • Bullies aren't nice. They might need someone to love them.
  • There are names that hurt more than sticks and stones.
  • Laugh a lot, until your belly hurts!
  • Crying gets you hugs, but I'd rather be playing.
  • Candy should always be rewarded for good deeds.
  • I have my big kid panties on.
  • You should still brush your teeth even if they are going to fall out anyway.
  • Santa really does know if you've been bad or good. This year I got a lot more toys!
  • Don't believe everything your friends tell you.
  • Don't bother to tell lies. They are always found out.
  • Real friends don't push you down, they pick you up.
  • Too much sugar isn't healthy, but it sure tastes good!
  • If you want a dog, start out by asking for a horse.
  • Be very afraid of a kid who is never afraid.
  • Always asking "Are we there yet?" while driving in a car guarantees a new high-tech gadget for the next road trip.

Did you learn any lessons from children? Have they opened your mind to a new way of thinking? Have they changed your life for the better with just one simplistic yet sincere comment. Children are our future it's up to us to set a good example and allow them to teach us.

Field Trip to the Firehouse
Field Trip to the Firehouse | Source

Do you have childhood memories that make others laugh out loud?

See results

© 2012 Linda Bilyeu


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