What is a MidLife Crisis?

What is a midlife crisis and is it a bad thing? Part of a definition of midlife crisis is "a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age." OK, I buy that.....but is it a bad thing? I guess that depends on how you handle it and what triggers it. Midlife doesn't have to be a crisis.

Obviously, I am there. I am trying to look at midlife as a time for reflection of the past and your future. Time is not slowing down and I am appreciating it's value more so now.

Sensing the passing of time.

Sensing the passing of youth is putting it mildly.  How can we not “strongly” sense the passing of our youth as we reach the middle age stage of life?  Reminders are all around us. All of a sudden we are empty nesters, baby boomers and grandparents.  In a blink the young kids I knew are now adults.  It seems everywhere I go I am surrounded by 20 year olds.  Aren’t there any clubs for middle age people who like to dance?  I can’t keep up with technology or all the new artists.  My kids have grown and left home and the focus of raising children is over.   The house is quieter.  Do I really miss arguing with teenagers?  I wake up one morning and wonder where has the time gone?

Self doubt.

This realization of the passing of youth and time does indeed raise self doubt. What now? Am I happy and at peace with the course in life that I have chosen. Is it time for a change. Time is running out. What do I want to accomplish? What is important to me?

A time of reflection.

And so begins a time to reflect on me. This may sound selfish but I believe that -

• in order to give of ourselves we should take the time to know ourselves.
• in order to appreciate and be in the moment we need to learn how to value each moment.
• in order to leave behind happiness and contentment we should live happiness and contentment.

Thus for me midlife offers a transition of self awareness, discovery and awakening to my true self. A gift of quiet moments of reflection and inner peace and tranquility. A time to allow myselft to relax, forgive and forget. Move forward with focus and clarity.

10 things I want out of life:

1. A loving intimate relationship with my partner.
2. A harmonious family connection.
3. A stress free environment.
4. A sense of purpose and fulfillment.
5. Ability to explore through travel.
6. Peace of mind, body and soul.
7. Good health.
8. Gratitude and understanding.
9. Self acceptance.
10. Chocolate.

I want to share the following simple poem I wrote as a reminder to myself so as not to get lost in the days that blend together. It's too bad that time is not more appreciated in our youth but rather we awaken to it's value and fragility as we age.

Clarity is Now.

I ponder, where is it that I go from here;

as a stranger wanders in my mirror?

Who is the enemy....time;

blocking what is mine?

Oh, but what is true.....

the enemy is you.

It simply slipped away,

as thoughts then did not sway;

For then it was not clear,

how quick today would draw near.

So now I must make haste;

no more time to waste.

Collect my thoughts to free

the enemy in me.

Be present today, in the moment and be happy. Simple really.