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What is a MidLife Crisis?

Updated on March 9, 2010

Is it a bad thing?

What is a midlife crisis and is it a bad thing? Part of a definition of midlife crisis is "a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" of life, as a result of sensing the passing of youth and the imminence of old age." OK, I buy that.....but is it a bad thing? I guess that depends on how you handle it and what triggers it. Midlife doesn't have to be a crisis.

Obviously, I am there. I am trying to look at midlife as a time for reflection of the past and your future. Time is not slowing down and I am appreciating it's value more so now.

Sensing the passing of time.

Sensing the passing of youth is putting it mildly.  How can we not “strongly” sense the passing of our youth as we reach the middle age stage of life?  Reminders are all around us. All of a sudden we are empty nesters, baby boomers and grandparents.  In a blink the young kids I knew are now adults.  It seems everywhere I go I am surrounded by 20 year olds.  Aren’t there any clubs for middle age people who like to dance?  I can’t keep up with technology or all the new artists.  My kids have grown and left home and the focus of raising children is over.   The house is quieter.  Do I really miss arguing with teenagers?  I wake up one morning and wonder where has the time gone?

Self doubt.

This realization of the passing of youth and time does indeed raise self doubt. What now? Am I happy and at peace with the course in life that I have chosen. Is it time for a change. Time is running out. What do I want to accomplish? What is important to me?

A time of reflection.

And so begins a time to reflect on me. This may sound selfish but I believe that -

  • in order to give of ourselves we should take the time to know ourselves.
  • in order to appreciate and be in the moment we need to learn how to value each moment.
  • in order to leave behind happiness and contentment we should live happiness and contentment.

Thus for me midlife offers a transition of self awareness, discovery and awakening to my true self. A gift of quiet moments of reflection and inner peace and tranquility. A time to allow myselft to relax, forgive and forget. Move forward with focus and clarity.

10 things I want out of life:

  1. A loving intimate relationship with my partner.
  2. A harmonious family connection.
  3. A stress free environment.
  4. A sense of purpose and fulfillment.
  5. Ability to explore through travel.
  6. Peace of mind, body and soul.
  7. Good health.
  8. Gratitude and understanding.
  9. Self acceptance.
  10. Chocolate.

I want to share the following simple poem I wrote as a reminder to myself so as not to get lost in the days that blend together. It's too bad that time is not more appreciated in our youth but rather we awaken to it's value and fragility as we age.

Clarity is Now.

I ponder, where is it that I go from here;

as a stranger wanders in my mirror?

Who is the enemy....time;

blocking what is mine?

Oh, but what is true.....

the enemy is you.

It simply slipped away,

as thoughts then did not sway;

For then it was not clear,

how quick today would draw near.

So now I must make haste;

no more time to waste.

Collect my thoughts to free

the enemy in me.

My wish for midlife.

Be present today, in the moment and be happy. Simple really.


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, uliveulearn, GREAT hub. VERY informative; intimate; honest and REAL!!! Voted up and all across. You have a great talent. And so glad to have met you. Keep up the great work. When my daughter married and moved out, I guess I was not wired right, for I didnt have the empty nest syndrome. I miss her. Dont misunderstand, but she married a real class act of a guy--works all the time, doesnt cheat, drink, beat her or the kids and is a good guy! Aw, to be honest, sometimes I look back and feel sad as most dads do, but I am glad that she has a great life. And to you, I am HONORED to follow you. You are invited to check my hubs to see if my take on things and life is enough to make you laugh. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a small town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that reminds you of Mayberry, that sweet little town on The Andy Griffith Show. Please let me hear from you and DO keep up YOUR great work.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Nice hub, ulivulearn. I know a thing or two about mid-life changes. You might like Divine Inspiration.

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      I am glad you enjoyed the hub Specialk3749. Hopefully if you are both going through this stage at the same time you can relate to each other and make it a positive experience for both of you. Communicate, communicate, communicate. I wish you good luck and blessings.

    • Specialk3749 profile image

      Karen Metz 

      8 years ago from Michigan

      I think my husband and I are both going through this at the same time, making it twice as hard. I know with God's help we will get through it! Thanks for a great hub!

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      Passage of time yes, old, yikes...not ready to go there yet. I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for the kind compliment.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      8 years ago from Chicago

      I enjoyed reflecting with you on the passage of time and the approach of being an old person. You are a good writer and poet. Thank you for this pleasure.

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      I am extremely touched by your kind comment. Thanks so much Duchess.

      Chocolate, I am sure would be on every woman's list. What is it about chocolate? Hmmmm, maybe another hub. I understand that one small piece of dark chocolate is recommended each day. I strive hard to maintain that rule, lol.

      I was told once that we go through such difficult times with teenagers so that it is easier to let them go when the time comes to leave the nest. I took comfort in that but now I sometimes miss those chaotic days. Go figure...

      May you enjoy each day.

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      Your time and comment is much appreciated Micky Dee. Thanks

    • profile image

      Duchess OBlunt 

      8 years ago

      “It's too bad that time is not more appreciated in our youth but rather we awaken to its value and fragility as we age.” That is quotable material my friend! And so very true

      Your 10 things I want out of life list? Perfect position to put Chocolate - Chocolate is always a 10 in my books :)

      I loved how you took a good hard honest look at things as they stand for you right now. I am soooooooo there. Not quite at the empty nest stage (kids are too comfortable), but it could happen very quickly with two adult children. I find myself reflecting on the same questions you ask. My list is going to include things I DON'T want in my life as well. Maybe another hub????

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Very, very nice! Nice music. Nice poem. Nice thoughts. Thanks. Wherever you go-go with all your heart!

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      LOL Maybe thats why we go a little crazy. Thanks for the comment elayne001

    • elayne001 profile image


      8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      I am still adjusting with the empty-nest syndrome which comes about the same time as the mid-life crisis. Good hub.

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      It is true heart4thword, we tend to let the veil fall away as we realize the value of time. Thanks for your comment.

    • heart4theword profile image


      8 years ago from hub

      Funny how when we get older, we realize it is beneficial to be more transparent, not just for us, but for others:) I hear you with the slowing of time. Being older I have so much more I want to do, seems like there is so little time! Great Hub, Thanks for sharing!

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      Thanks Crazd. I'm certainly no poet but just felt a need to express my feelings of not wanting to waste time as I approach my fifties all to quickly. I took this picture from the window of an airplane while on vacation last summer. Makes me feel the freedom of possibilities and want to jump from cloud to cloud.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Loved the picture you posted. It goes well with the breautiful poem you wrote. very nice Uli...very inspiring and makes you ponder things. :-)

    • uliveulearn profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      Thanks for the comment. Glad you enjoyed it.

    • profile image

      Useful Knowledge 

      8 years ago

      I love the poem! I will read more of your hubs.


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