Do You Ask For Advice?

You would do good trish. I knoow you would Start one right here. and BP can just stay out of it. hah! she can take her opinion and just...well, I luv ya too BP:-)

For sure! Great hub, Trish.

With the simple explanation of a quote, 2 lives changed. That really is awesome! Such a great story.

I ask for advice a lot. I feel like there's a real shortage of advice out there for stepparents: boundaries, dealing with exes, living arrangements, finances, different parenting methods, etc. It would be nice to have a place to turn to for answers. Unfortunately, a lot of the Stepfamily forums are filled with hate and rage. People go here to vent rather than lend an ear or offer constructive advice.

If you want to be an advice columnist, I say go for it! But please, don't turn into Ivana Trump! LOL ;)

I think you'd make a great advice columnist, Trish! I can relate to being the one that everyone comes to for help. I used to work with a girl that every single day she came to my desk at her breaktimes to get advice about a relationship she was having with a married man. She was one of those that somehow felt better by having the discussions about what she SHOULD do, but still enjoyed doing what she WANTED to do. She never really took my advice, but still was addicted to the advice. So, in that sense, did it help her? Maybe.

Very creative

Many people ask for advice on various subjects from work to love, I think that it would be great if you opened up your heart and mind to offer some insite to the lost. It takes a caring and wise person to even consider it. Good luck!

Tootles!!!

Hi Trish:  I think you would do quite well.  There's no reason why you can't do a test right here on HubPages.  Maybe write a hub requesting questions, which could be submitted to you via email to keep them anonymous, or they could ask right on the hub, and sign in under an alias if they didn't want anyone to know who they were.  Also post in Hubber's Hangout. Just post a disclaimer at the beginning like:  "Advice is meant for entertainment purposes only.  Any advice followed is the decision of the individual" or something, and don't worry about any legal ramifications. 

Contrary to my friend Blondepoet's statement, no way it's more beneficial to men.  I'm surprised at you, BT.  Advice columns are read and participated in primarily by women I should think.  Whether or not they can benefit from it is a non-issue.  Who will participate is the only issue as I see it.  (Love ya, blondepoet!)

Good hub, Trish, and a good idea.  Hurry.  In contrast to my statement above, I'd be honored to ask the first question (but I might make it up.)

This is great! I always look for advice on how to handle other people. Especially family members.

My problem is too many try to give me unsolicited advice that is really their way of trying to control me. I can't stand that. But having somewhere to go and ask without worrying about them taking over your life would be great.

My next hub will be the third week of Countdown to Oklahoma...and it's a hell-a-shish experience!! Starting over, getting rid of possessions, leaving sons behind, but triumph too, as we go to a place that is home, go to granddaughter (age3) and look for new but less-stressful jobs...so there is light of joy and pain of departure.

sigh. Why isn't anything "easy" I must have packed that button!!! =))

Hi Trish, you are so right about giving unwelcomed and often not well received advice even to those who requested it. Most of the time, we don't want to "really know."  That shows the wisdom in you!!

Giving advice anyway, is the price the advisor pays.  It's the courage of telling "the truth, you can't handle the truth!!" as A Few Good Men would say.

Sometimes, the advice is:  "I could tell by your comments, you know what to do....so do it."   LOL

Not that  that sentence would pay much.   ahahha, still, it might work in some situations. 

Like now, I'm trying to get ready for Oklahoma, it's hard, I know what to do, but I'm not doing most of it.  Your "Running On Empty" hub touched my life in many ways...like a mirror, reflecting the stagnation of minutes that pass with no work done on my goals.  =))  get busy Marisue!!  =))

trish, when I was a kid I used to faithfully read the Ask Beth (Winship) column in the Boston Globe. (I think she was the owner's or editor's wife or something). She seemed to answer teens' questions. I pretty much read it because I thought it was interesting reading at the time.

I don't ask for advice; and I don't give advice to people in my circle (my grown kids, siblings, friends). I guess that's because we're a whole bunch of non-askers for/non-wanters of advice.

Still, I think it would be rewarding to write an advice column for people who do ask. I found a question-and-answer site on the Internet by accident once. I saw a couple of questions that I could answer, so I did. Because I had nothing to do another time I went back and looked for more questions I could answer. After getting through some of the "how do I program this cell phone" questions, I started to notice questions for teens that were really serious. "Please help. I think my mother is going to kick me out," or "My mother has cancer. How do I help my little brother?" These questions were so serious, I couldn't help but try to answer because I imagined one of my own kids asking such questions online. I thought about how I'd hope some sensible, caring, adult would give them a thoughtful answers WITHOUT saying something that either stirred up trouble, or else led them in the wrong direction.

I discovered that when I answered one of these questions I felt a little rewarded, because I thought about how I could be watched television in my spare time; but instead, how maybe I had given someone a thoughtful answer that was useful, or at least let them know someone gave their issue thought and responded.

Over the years since I found that site, I often go back when I'm bored or just want to get away from my own projects/work; and I look for questions that look as if they are serious and could use a sensible adult's input. (Sometimes if I see a silly one I'll answer that, just for fun.)

When I indulge in this little "closet advice columnist" activity, I do feel kind of egotistical; and I do question my taking it upon myself to attempt to answer (in view of the fact that I'm neither an advice columnist nor a psychiatrist). I ask myself if I think I know everything. I always come back to realizing it's not my ego, and I know I don't now everything (and indicate that in my answers). It's that I see some of those questions and can't help but think of my own kids asking them online. Worse, feeling the need to turn to the Internet to ask such questions.

Then I began seeing the questions from parents about their little kids: "I think my child has mental problems because she won't clean her room" or "How do I discipline my four-month old" (I'm not making that one up.) I start to picture these poor little souls out there somewhere, where a parent who is talking about whether or not he should hit a four-month old; or a little five-year-old with a parent who thinks he's evil because he told a lie. And so, in my self-appointed (and I've been told, missed-calling) role as a fake social worker; I can't help but try to find a way to tell their parents (who are so clearly in need of someone with a level head and some experience) whatever I think will help them to understand their child better (and maybe stop hitting them!). The one thing about these people is, though, that they have gone to a question site to ask for help/advice. They deserve credit for at least that much. Sometimes, too, people can't afford that professional counseling the rest of the world knows they need; and so, online people who aim to be "kind, older-sibling, friends" try to help with ideas, tips, advice.

I don't go to the site all that often (more like a two-hour run on it when I do go there every once in a while); and I tell myself to stop going there because there's so much on there that bothers me. Still, I keep going back and challenging myself with trying to come up with a great response to serious matters - because, when all is said and done, it feels rewarding to know that's how I used a bit of my own spare time.

A person who is actually good at offering advice is also the person who knows how not to over-step the line and start giving out medical, legal, or other professional information; and instead saying, "Here's where you may be able to find free legal advice".

So, I think it would be great to write a column for either teens or parents (who are looking for advice because they're desperate). I, personally, wouldn't really want to make a job out of it - but I can see how rewarding it could potentially be

I find it hard to imagine ever feeling the need to write to an advice columnist; but I look at all those questions sites there are online, and I realize that there are people (often young, sometimes feeling as if they have nowhere to turn because they can't afford a counselor) who are asking for others' opinions/advice. When I take the time to try to think up a really thoughtful, grown-up, answer on a question site; I post it with the thought, "Well, I tried, for what it's worth. Hope it's useful, but if you don't like what I said, fine too."

I wouldn't want to be bothered trying to think up advice for the lovelorn. If they don't have their heads together enough to either make things work, get over it, or break up, I don't think there's anything anyone can offer them. Financial, legal, medical information, etc., should be asked of experts in those fields only. For me, it's more about teens who are looking for some sensible thoughts or who could use some whether or not they know that's what they need; and parents who feel as if they don't know where else to turn. People who are grieving are another group who sometimes feel desperate and turn to whatever is "out there" in hopes of finding tips on getting through what they're going through. To me, trying to "be a friend" to someone who is clearly asking for such a thing is definitely a worthy endeavor.

Trish, I noticed it happening both in local newspapers and magazines with a national circulation! However let's not generalise...I'm sure there are genuine, credible advice columns. Perhaps the syndicated columns are the real thing? Then again, who knows who actually writes those things!

Don't let that stop you...you can prove all the sceptics wrong! :)

Trish I think this would be a wonderful idea and I am right behind you. I think men would benefit from one more, as they need more help in general and need the help of a wise, experienced, down to earth woman like yourself lol. ( aghhhhhhh men don't kill me for saying this it is just my opinion that's all)

Trish: My research include two parts: one is reading and another is searching Internet. I used to have a minimum 2 hours reading/Internet searching every morning before start writing my column. Mostly I read both English and Chinese news from Internet (and I also used to subscribe some paper and magazines. Now I am reading paperless news all from Internet.). I read any subjects that I like to inspire me. I also like celebrity gossip and many stories are good to apply to any ordinary people like us. Also, the great thing is that the stories are happened to real people and there is no need to ask the premission from those movie stars if you quote their words or describe what you've read about them from a paper or magazine (also, there is no need to worry about if the story that you are using as an example of a case is actually a gossip. Readers are not going to pick on you for that.).

Reading helps me gather info and stimulate ideas. Sometimes a really quality two hours reading through Internet can get me some great stories (more than one, of course) to write. My best performance is to produce three articles in different or a series subjects (each article 1500 Chinese words more or less) within 6 to 8 hours for a day. I am not a fast writer.

I wish you good luck. It is a great commentment writing an advice column. Once you start it you really can not quit (or I should say that you are not allow to quit, especially if you start getting some fans who would actually call the editorial room asking why your column is not on the paper the day that supposed to be....).

Hi Trish! I'd take advice from you anyday :) You definitely have an old soul, and live an examined life. I didn't know there were online advice columns. I'll have to check em out a bit. Thanks for the hub!

wow you touched a topic that is close to my heart as well....I have written advice columns in foster parenting and relationship newsletters, and tho' I was not famous, it was fun and I hope I helped.

Are we "know it alls?" we, that crave to share information and experience? Some would think so...but I, think we're just meant to talk about the travels....a calling perhaps.

I think you could do it !! and why not!!! Keep me posted...

Trish, I think you'd have a ball writing an advice column, and I think you'd be very good at it. (But you know what I think already!)

I enjoyed yxhuang's comments very much because that's pretty much how I would approach it, laying out the options and considerations so that the reader could come to a decision about what to do. (I'll be you saw that right away.)

FP's comment, I thought, was so helpful. As you and I were wondering the other day, "Who really wrote those Landers and Vanderbilt columns for all those years?" Your columns would be the real thing, that is, unless you let me do some ghost advising for you. :)

Thumbs up, my friend. I hope you get lots of good *advice* about this from fellow Hubbers.

I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to advice columns. As a journalist I've seen how some of those columns in newspapers and magazines are actually written...whichever staffer has time not only makes up the questions but often also the answers! Having said that...an advice column for those that know you might work well Trish. :)

Hi! Trish: I used to write a column in Chinese about love and relationships for Chinese readers who live in the U.S. It takes a lot of researches to come out some interesting case studies for most of my readers. I have a writing style that try not to give an advice rather than analyzing the situation and provide some "what if" options of dealing with certain problems or situations. I had some readers called or wrote me and said that they think I gave them a good advice. In fact, I think I was just coming out a multiple-choice question and these readers were happened to make themselves a correct choice, or a choice that was just perfect for them.

I had so much fun writing that column. It's not easy writing an advice column that doesn't look like you are giving any advice. You always need (and expect to have) some brilliant readers to decode your opinions and find out the best solution for themselves through out your writings.

PS: I like that video.