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Do You Live YOUR OWN Life Or The Life YOUR FAMILY Has Preordained for You?, YOU Decide!, Part III, The Last Installation
Either You OWN Your Life Or You Are Being OWNED!
Some people from a particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group follow their script even to their mental, psychological, and/or intellectual detriment. These people believe that in order to belong to their said ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group, they must conform to their particular group construct e.g. if the cultural group likes certain music, they feel that they must like that music even though they would prefer to listen to other types of music.
Some parents and/or other family members of a particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group limit their children's and/or said family member's purview of what is acceptable within the particular group perimeters. They exhort their children and/or said family members that only their ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group is the only legitimate one. They further insist that their children and/or said family members should not actively explore the world outside their particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group. Or if the children and/or said family members elect to explore other ethnic, cultural, and/or racial groups and cultures, the parents and/or other family members portend that they should not go too far in exploring other groups and cultures lest they "lose" touch with their own ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group.
There are some parents and/or other family members from a particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group that are so extremely xenophobic that they do not want their children and/or said family members even associating with members "outside" of their ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group for fear of "mixing", "adulterating", and/or "tainting" their own ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group. In other words, these parents and/or other family members want their particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group be "pure".
Many people from a particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group adhere to such parental and/or familial strictures. They develop such a parochial and narrow view of how life and society should be. They refuse to view life beyond their particular ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group because they were told that these "outside" groups will not care for them like their own group will. Furthermore, they are totally inculcated by their parents and/or other family members that members of the "outside" group will never understand and/or accept them like members of their own group.
Many people would settle for less than satisfactory interpersonal relationships with members of their same ethnic, cultural, and/or racial group than to consider more satisfying and/or enrichening relationships from members of an "outside" group. Some people are threatened with being disowned and/or cut off from their family if they do enter into interpersonal relationships, whether platonic and/or romantic, with members of an "outside" group. While a few do risk such censure from their family members, others conform and only have main associations with members of their same cultural, ethnic, and/or racial group.
People from a particular socioeconomic class have family, peer, and societal scripts pertaining to their socioeconomic class. Each socioeconomic class have their own script regarding how to interface with certain members of society; what to expect from life; their attitudes towards education, achievement, and success; their interpersonal relationships, and other related factors. Many parents and/or other family members from a specific socioeconomic class inundate their children and/or said family members what is expected from their particular socioeconomic class.
Many people from a particular socioecomomic class are told to "stay in their place" and/or "not to aspire to much in life" because other members of the said socioeconomic class did not achieve. For example, if a person from the lower socioeconomic class wants to attend college and have a professional job, there are some parents and/or other family members who actively discourage this because they deem this to be a total impossibility, adding that no one else in the family,group, and/or neighborhood has done that before. These parents and/or other family members portend who is this lower income person to want to achieve status. According to the parents and/or other family members, this person is becoming too inflated and high and mighty and he/she would be happier to "accept life as it is" and "not to interfere with preordained fate" so to speak.
Conversely, a person from the upper socioeconomic class made decide not to attend an Ivy League institution or college for that matter, electing to go a different route. He/she was inculcated by his/her parents and/or other family members that attending college, postgraduate school, and having a high-level career was totally non-negotiable. However, he/she has other interests at heart. While some parents and/or other family members accept the choice of their child and/or said family members, others portend that is family tradition that their children and/or said family members attend college/university and have an illustruous career, no questions asked. These parents and/or other family members portend that their children and/or said family members will cooperate with this plan in one way or other!
There are many people who blindly follow the script of their said socioeconomic class because "that is the way it has always been." Even though they know and want better, they believe that they have no choice because no one else in their particular milieu has done anything different from their socioeconomic class norm before. They are quite fearful of breaking the mold and they want the acceptance and approval from their family and peers in their particular socioeconomic group. They further know that if they venture from their familial socioeconomic script, they would be quite alone and "out of their element".
There are many people who believe that they would feel uncomfortable if they advance and/or leave their socioeconomic class of origin and live their own lives. Other people adamantly refuse to adhere to their familial socioeconomc script, believing that they will go as faf as their intellectual and instinctual acument takes them. They portend that just because they were born in a certain socioeconomic class, that particular socioeconomic class is not kismet. They can make their lives whatever they wish to do.
Many people subscribe to their particular familial script because that script represents a measure of security although it can be quite purgatorial. They are deathly afraid to venture into unsafe zones. Many people who defy the familial script find themselves quite alone as most of their family members and/or peers adhere to the said script.
Many people feel the most secure adhering to the family script although subconsciously they wish to venture out on their own. They rather give their power to their parents and/or other family authority figures than to own and take ultimate responsibility for their own lives. In actuality, owning and being responsible for one's life involves a certain amount of risk and many people are extremely loathe to take that risk. Furthermore, risks do contain elements of failure and many people simply do not wish to fail. Following the family script means a certain guarantee against failure and to many people, the worst thing in life is to fail. There is certainty in adhering and following the family script. It represents a comfort zone and most people want to be comfortable to say the least. Comfort often comes at a very high price; however, many people fail to realize this until near the end of their lives.
In summation, most people follow their familial script because they want to belong to the family group. Most people are programmed to conform to the prevailing strictures whether it is familial or societal. Following the familial script gives one a sense of comfort, security, and tradition. These are the rewards of following such scripts.
Many parents and/or family members have their own script which they expect other family members to follow. Children and/or other family members are expected to follow such scripts whether it is gender, religious, socioeconomic, and/or related scripts. Family members who adhere to the script are deemed "nice" and are treated admirably. Family members who rebel against such scripts are often overtly or covertly coerced to remain in line. Some family members acquiesce much to their inner turmoil and chagrin, because they want to have family harmony. In essence, these family members are selling their souls and sacrificing their human potential for the sake of the family. Others, however, adamantly refuse to succumb to the familial script as to how to be and live their lives. They portend that they will be and live their lives as they please, fulfilling their utmost human potential and if their family does not approve, consequences be damned! They OWN their lives and that is what is the most important thing!