Don't Return The Favour, Give It To Someone Else

As much as many people may say the world is such a bad place, that the money runs the world and that you should trust no one but yourself, we do sometimes encounter good people. People who are willing to help us out when we are in need, people who may go out of their way to make sure we are alright, who take from what is their own so that we may have more, people who themselves decrease so that we may increase. These good people may be our mother or our father, an uncle or grandmother, a friend, a brother or a complete stranger. Whether the act of kindness is great or small, whether it is frequently done or a one in a life time act we can feel some significant amount of gratitude toward people such as these. Such gratitude may motivate us to return the favour, to give back, to balance the scales. While such intentions may be noble, they may not be particularly wise that is to say, we should not return a favour.

It must be stressed that "don't return the favour" does not mean not to help out another and that return the favour is necessarily a bad thing. As often the case with may things in life, while one particular option may be good, there may be another option that is better. Let us examine why we should not return favours.

First of all, one should give with a pure heart. A pure heart meaning that one should give without any expectation of return. If one gives with an impure heart, one is simply making a transaction or an investment, the purchase or return being a return of the favour. The root of all this is a selfish and greedy soul. On the other end, a favour can be returned with an impure heart. This may be as the receiver is showing the any favour done will be returned, in an effort to persuade persons to perform more favours to him/her. This comes from a greedy soul. But these are situations were an individual is virtuous. So what of the case of the virtuous soul?

So now, we presume that both the giver and the receiver of a random act of kindness is virtuous. Why should we not return the favour? To answer this question we must understand the giver. If the giver of a random act of kindess is truly virtuous, that they provide a favour out of a purity of heart with no selfish intent, then we understand that this giver has no need for a favour. They have no need for a random act of kindness, an unselfish act to teach them compassion and selflessness and goodwill. They require no urgent upliftment and guidance toward a better path. This may seem counter-intuitive, that we should seek to give back. Yes we can give back, but we should give to someone in need, someone who needs another to help them open their eyes to a better life and more humane living. If you are going to give, give to someone who needs. If we were to only give to those who gave to us, the help and betterment would only be shared between two, between two who only grow rich off each other while others stay poor. We should give to those who have nothing to give, so that they may, in turn, have something to give to others who have nothing.

It may feel wrong not to return the favour. We may even encounter even those who feel slighted that we have not done so. But we should recognise that this is an impure soul who, somewhere in his/her heart, had expected a return on "the investment" and never truly had your interest at heart anyway. When we feel bad about not returning a favour we must not fall victim to our emotions and use critical thought and reasoning. At the root of our discontentment is pride. We feel that we will be frowned upon by others, that we will be seen as selfish and greedy when quite the opposite may be true and perhaps rather importantly that we may not receive future favours for these very two reasons. But we must remain steadfast and remember we are choosing to better, even if others do not understand. And truly, if someone did perform random act of kindness out of a pure heart, they would not care for a return of the favour.