ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dumb and Dumber-No using slot machines in an outhouse, and more dumb laws in the U.S. part 6

Updated on February 1, 2011

Are you ready to explore some more of our great country? I hope you brought you boots; some of this gets really deep!!

Our first stop is…


It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.

What happened? This law was made during the height of whale fishing season. The good people of Ohio were catching so many whales that the lawmakers feared they might become extinct. They actually added to this law, and now goldfish crackers are off limits on Sundays as well.

More from Ohio:

It’s illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.

What happened? What I really want to know is who gets to decide what’s of great importance. For one person this could mean, “don’t knock your wife around”, for another, it could just as easily mean, “don’t forget to wax your car ”.

Still in Ohio

You may not install or use slot machines in an outhouse.

What happened? This is a difficult one to track. The story goes like this…Mom, pop, and sis were all lined up with their legs crossed jumping up and down while brother was inside the outhouse shouting, “I did it again! I win! I win


It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have “relations” with a buffalo.

What happened? The buffalo was tired of being led on. Either step up to the plate, or leave the buffalo alone.

Another one from Oklahoma

It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.

What happened? This was another concession for the buffalo.


Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.

What happened? I’m thinking “inbreeding”.

Another one to prove my point:

Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.

What happened? See above.


It is illegal to sleep on a refrigerator outside .

What happened? In Pennsylvania an outside refrigerator is a block of ice. Janice Joplin was passing through Pennsylvania one day and became tired. She fell asleep on block of ice, which just happened to be the outdoor refrigerator for the town’s Boy Scout Troup.

For weeks afterward, the boy scouts were trying to help dogs cross the street. Acid and boy scouts don’t mix.

Rhode Island.

It is illegal to bite off someone else’s leg.

What happened? First of all, I believe it’s important to note that it is perfectly legal to bite off your own leg.

Rhode Island is a cold place. Winters are long, and sometimes boring. People often hook up with the wrong person. When people sleep together in Rhode Island they often throw their leg over the other person. One day Craven Dufus woke up to find that the number ten from the night before, when viewed with sober eyes was a negative two. Not wanting to disturb her, he bit off his leg.

Dufus sorely regretted his decision. The lawmakers knew Dufus. They knew he would get drunk again one day, and Sally Bagugly was still on the market for a man. Fearing that the next time he would bite off HER leg, they quickly passed this law. ‘

Good Job lawmakers.

South Carolina.

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

What happened? This law came about to counter the “It’s OK, we’re getting married” line.


A permit must be obtained to fire a missile.

What happened? The lawmakers scratched their heads, banged their heads on a wall, bashed their heads into concrete blocks, got concussions, and figured out how to cut down on terrorism.

Last, but far from least, we have the often overlooked….

South Dakota:

(The following laws are what happen when people forget your state exists.)

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

What happened? Obviously too many horses walked into the Inn without pants and ruined it for everyone else. Ingrates.

If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.

What happened? This was a sneaky way for lawmakers to get around having to pay up when they lost at poker.

If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

What happened? Playing Cowboys and Indians never ends for the people of South Dakota. Also, once you’ve shot 2 of the 5 on your property, this law gives you leeway to keep on shooting!

Finally, today, we come to Tennessee. The intelligence of these people is underwhelming.

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

What happened? It was a cold day in December 1812. Bubba and BillyBob were down by the lake. They had a bet to see who could catch the most fish with a lasso. Ironically, they both became fish food later that night when, overcome by hypothermia and stupidity, they fell into the lake.

A side note, the lawmakers understood the need for fishing. They compromised and wrote a bill allowing hunters to shoot whales from their car, thus keeping this hypothermic incident from ever happening again.

Next time we'll be visiting Texas. Texas is an awesome state... I wonder if we'll find any dumb laws there. Probably not.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Siver Poet- I think we both know that without laws like these, you would totally have a slot machine in your outhouse. Actually, you would have an outhouse JUST FOR the slot machine!

      Thank God for our government! :)

    • Silver Poet profile image

      Silver Poet 7 years ago from the computer of a midwestern American writer

      Those are some pretty weird laws! Slot machines in the outhouse. Hmm.

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Pamela-They are ridiculous aren't they! They give me some great stuff to write about, however! Thanks for laughing!

      I'm actually in the middle of reading your hubs about heart attacks and women (which are really good, by the way). I'm a complete hypochondriac, so I'm going to go take an aspirin and my blood pressure, then finish reading! :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Those laws had me laughing as they were so ridiculous. I mean a slot machine in an outhouse? And how can it be illegal to wear your boots to bed, I mean who knows. Thanks for the great laugh. Voted/rated funny!

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      PixieNot- Thanks mom. You're completely biased, but I love you for it! :)

      Getsmart-Thank you so much for coming by and reading and leaving a comment to let me know you liked what I wrote. I appreciate it very much!!

    • GetSmart profile image

      GetSmart 7 years ago

      This was really funny - thoroughly enjoyed the read!

    • profile image

      Pixienot 7 years ago

      Very funny! I especially like the horse with pants.

      Just wanted you to know I read your hub. Heading to bed now. As usual, you did great. I wish I had your sense of humor.

      I enjoy the comments almost as much as I do your hubs. Keep up the good work kiddo!

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- awww. Shucks. You're just sayin' that! :)

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California


      I feel much better after shooting my beebee gun at some imaginary Indians and lassooing some whales, well a really big goldfish, and thinking some pretty mean stuff about girls and stuff.

      Unlike you, my mom does not know about the internet, so you are always going to be in more bigger trouble than me.

      And I didn't really cry, I just had a thing in my eye, and honest, you really are the Queen of kaakaa poo poo, but now I mean it in the bestest way possible

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Stan- I'm with you. I don't know why this hasn't caught on. I have no doubt that once the CIA finish reading your comment on my hub they'll slap themselves silly and have a sit-down with Obama to develop the permit committee.

      Chris L. should put in a bid to be the permit Czar, his househusband duties have rendered his mind mush enough to be qualified for government work!

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Thanks for reading, Sharon! Thank you for taking the time to leave a nice comment as well!

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- I feel just awful. I don't know what got in to me! It must be all that Whale I ate after a good afternoon of shooting them from my car.

      You are KING OF THE FUNNY. I knight you as such. I'm using the leg I bit off- since you biting off my leg would be illegal, and the KING OF THE FUNNY should not have to start his reign in jail!

      I thank you for my title of KAA KAA POO POO.. it was so generous of you to give me a title even after I had been mean.

      Mom said I have to ask your forgiveness or you wouldn't play with me any more! So I'm super-duper sorry, KING OF THE FUNNY.

      Do you have a lasso we can go fishing with?? Huh? Do ya Huh??

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      A permit must be obtained to fire a missile. Why didn't the CIA think of this? If we had missile permits, and planes flying into buildings permits, and cutting people's heads off permits, terrorism would grind to a halt. And we could have a permit czar and further expand the government.

      Funny stuff!

    • granniesharon profile image

      granniesharon 7 years ago

      these are really funny

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California


      That hurt my feelings and made me cry. My mum says you shouldn't use the "s" word to people, even girls, and you just said I was the king of the stupids and I'm telling and you are going to be in so much trouble, so there, and anyway you're the king of the kaa kaa poo poo heads, and I don't mean that in a nice way, an' my friend says that there is a law about being mean to people, even if they were left on the running board of a car when they were babies. I'm so upset I could bite your leg right off....


    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- Thank you for the offer! You may, of course, be KING OF THE STUPID LAWS.

      Sounds good, doesn't it? Yep, it just seems right. Of course, maybe we need to take off the word "laws"....

      I crack myself up. I'm just glad that I don't mind laughing alone!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California


      Dumb laws seem like a bottomless pit of humor ready to be mined. Thank goodness you are out there digging for the rest of us, so we can sit back, relax and have a chuckle at everyone elses absurdity.

      I just want to thank you for donning the helmet, swinging the pick and finding us these nuggets, and for those enquiring minds, who decides what is of great importance or not, this is where you need a Monarch. I am happy to be your King.


    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Austin- I can see you drying off your little ones on the running boards.. but not of cars, what were you thinking? This is Texas we're talking about! Those babies will be drying off on the running boards of 1 ton pick-up trucks!!

      I'll bet some Texans even tie the little ones to the tails of their horses. Makes sense to me!

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 7 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      Oh Oh Oh, can't wait for the Texas one! I think it may be legal here to carry babies on the running boards of cars! How else do you dry them after a bath?

      This is so funny and probably a never ending source for hub writing! Loved it!

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      breakfastpop- I've heard that the lawmakers can be bribed. Make it a double-seater and you can rest easy!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      I am so annoyed. I have a fabulous slot machine in my outhouse that keeps me amused for hours. Now I find out it's illegal...

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      drbj-that's hilarious! I didn't read yours yet specifically SO I wouldn't duplicate without meaning to! (prepositional ending)

      I love the thought of great minds, but I'm pretty sure it's more a case of "slow brain steps into thoughts of great mind.. scientists are baffled". :)

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      breakfastpop- I feel for you. This will be a huge detriment to you, as you see the importance in everything! :)

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Willstar- Thanks for the heads up! Next time I'm in Nogalas I'll be sure not to wear suspenders

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      Mentalist- I don't reckon I knowd that 'bout Louisianna. That must be why y'all throw people in jail for up to ten years for stealing an alligator. It's alright if you lasso 'em, just don't go grabbin; 'em and shovin' 'em in a box.

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 7 years ago from Indiana

      tenderheart- Thank you for the compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed all the inbreeding. :O)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      There is just no end, sue, to these fascinatingly dumb and stupid laws. What I find very interesting is that you and I without knowledge of each other's choices, picked some of the same dumb laws to examine. I guess it's great minds and all that.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      I am shocked. Now I can't misuse anything of great importance. What a bummer.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Arizona has its own goofy laws:

      In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.

      In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American..

      In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.

      In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Good thing the no fish lassoing is in South Dakota,as it's a great way Louisianin's catch Gar-Fish and Gators...Lasso-Nets for Gar and actual lasso's for Gators,lol.;)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image

      tnderhrt23 7 years ago

      Sueroy333, Another fine hub! Most enlightening and encouraging...I loved it from start to finish! ..."inbreeding" indeed! You are a hoot!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)