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End of Times Dec 21 2012.

Updated on December 21, 2012

I am writing this on Dec 20 2012 at 11:41 eastern time. We are, of course, waiting for the end of the world on the 21st of Dec, which is in about 20 minutes. But it probably won’t end at midnight so I will likely have time to finish this before the end, by whatever means it all comes crashing down. Some say because the sun is changing its magnetic field, which will force ours to shift as well. Others say a comet is on the way Of course NASA says it would have noticed that. Still, it could be a dark comet, or even a dark planet, couldn’t it?

Well... Nothing is going to happen. Ok, I admit we are about to get the snow storm of the century in our parts, which is supposed to start at midnight, but that’s about all. Snow storms have been known to kill people, but not cause the end of the world. We are only supposed to get a foot or so before it’s over.

That hasn’t happened for a while, but it’s hardly an omen for the end, is it?

What will happen if things pan out is: many people won’t make it into work. Yeah! A snow day! I haven’t had one since I was a kid. But that’s because of global warming, which has already figured prominently in other dooms day predictions.

The end is not neigh.

Why do I say this with such confidence? Well let’s start with the fact that the end has been predicted at least two to three times per decade on average since at least 3000 BCE. That’s 5000 years and some 1500 failed dates. This is defiantly a conservative estimate as from the year 2000 to 2012 there have already been over 30 failed dates for the end.

A startling fact is that the predictions have grown since the first century, year by year.

I am sure there were many similar predictions all through prehistoric history, besides those of the Hebrews. But most of the ones we get these days are decedents of the Jewish and Christian myths about the end of the world. Every time there is a failed date it gets pushed forward. But just about every culture has had its end of times myths, and none so far have panned out.

At least people are having fun with this latest Mayan prediction. There are end of times parties all over the place. One of them is being held in the Diefenbunker. It was built in 1959 to protect our high government officials from atomic attack. Now it will protect high party goers in case of the end of the world.

I have no such protection. It’s now 12:30am on the 21st and it has begun to snow rather heavily. At least the weather mans predictions are panning out so far. I wonder how many people are hiding right now, trembling in fear. How many took out a loan they can never repay to do that one last thing they always wanted to do before they die, because they think they will never have to pay it back? What idiocy will we read about tomorrow?

And yes folks, this won’t be the last doomsday prediction that won’t happen. There is already a rapture scheduled for 2018 and another for 2028, depending on what a biblical generation is. 2020 and or 2037 Jesus is coming. Some Sunni Muslims seem to think the end is in 2129. Other Muslims maintain it’s going to be in 2280.

Pick a date and someone thinks it’s going to be the last.

It could be, right? Is the world going to last forever? Probably not. Science has already set several dates, most of which are more than five billion years from now. Hardly anything to worry about now, though getting off this planet before our sun goes out may become a priority someday.

If we do ever get hit with another meteor or comet that would defiantly be a disaster of biblical proportions if it’s big enough. We better hope there aren’t any dark ones out there, whatever that means.

There are probably a dozen different scenarios we can come up with for the end of our species spanning everything from plagues to alien invasion. Alien invasion has been predicted too by the way. That hasn’t happened yet either and doesn’t get much press. Must be because the government is keeping it all quiet. Yeah right.

So... which do you prefer: Global warming and all the disaster that might bring, or another ice age? In the 1970s we were being told that we were overdue for another ice age. I was scared to death. I hate the cold. Imagine most of North America under permafrost for the next thousand years? Not a pretty picture.

I think the reason we are all so fascinated by the idea of the end of the world is because it could happen at any time, in ways we probably haven’t even thought of yet. But what would knowing the date for the end achieve? Nothing. We couldn’t do anything about it and being able to do something about it is why people want to know what’s going to happen in the future. If you can’t do anything about it, what’s the point of knowing?

Most people who are asked if they would want to know their date of death in advance if science could provide them with it say: NO! Would you want to know? Probably not.

So I have some advice for the doomsday prophets of the world: Keep it to yourselves. No one really wants to know.

Let us know after Jesus arrives, ok? Not before. It’s better all around that way. We won’t have to buy a new suit for an occasion that doesn’t happen, and you won’t end up with egg on your face when he’s a no show again.

Next time you find something the Mayans may have hidden about the end and the coming of the snake god, for goodness sake don’t make out like it’s going to happen. It’s probably a myth. I’d be willing to bet on it. You scarred the bajesus out of hundreds if not thousands of people for nothing. Let’s hope they learned their lesson this time.

1:30 am and my house is still standing. No invisible meteors in sight yet, just snow coming down. Guess I’ll head to bed and dream of shovelling my car out of a mountain of white stuff tomorrow. Oh hell... maybe I’ll just take a snow day. After all, it might be the last. Nahhh.

Update 9:44 pm Dec 21. As expected, nothing but a snow storm. A little more than two hours to go for Dec 21st. I saw the Mayans celebrating the end of one calendar and the beginning of another on TV this morning like nothing was wrong. End of the world? Didn’t look like they were worried about anything like that. Did anyone bother to ask them before starting this dirty little rumour? Probably not.

Oh well. Next time maybe.

working

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