ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Behave in a Public Pool

Updated on October 13, 2007

So it’s 80 degrees outside and you’re ready to throw yourself into the East River if it means you’ll be cool afterwards. You give it a think and realize you won’t get much swimming done, what with all that trash getting in the way, so you opt to head for the local YMCA.

Hey, it’s cheap, and it’s a lot cleaner, so I don’t blame you.

I would, however, ask that you adhere to a few simple rules. Nothing big, don’t worry – just the basics. I’d like to think they come naturally, but, well, that’s just not always the case.

Let’s start with the most infamous.

No Pottying, Please

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Having a good ol’ time in the deep end, when our bladder decides it’s time for a break. If you’re a five year old, I might excuse a wayward tinkle. If you’re over the age of 15, get your fanny out of the pool and use the toilet. And don’t think those of us swimming next to you won’t notice. And don’t think it’s ok because there’s plenty of chlorine, either. It’s not ok!

No Cherry Bombs In the Shallow End

You know what these are, right? This is when some punk little boy – be he 12 or 42 – takes a running leap, wraps his arms around his legs, and does his best to drench everyone outside of the pool. This is particularly annoying if you’re wearing a lovely bathing suit purely for show, with no intention of swimming. I’m there to pick up men, kid, I don’t need you testing my waterproof mascara.

No Hogging the Diving Board

We’ve all been thoroughly impressed with your swan dive – now stay in the pool and give someone else a turn! Actually, to be honest, I was this kid, back when I actually liked swimming. So I know what I’m talking about, lol.

No Unaccompanied Screaming Mimis!

This applies to all kids, really. Ok, maybe not the ones who hug the wall the entire time – those are alright. But the ones with the little bubbles on their little arms, screaming and paddling and kicking their little feet in your face as they go by? Don’t turn those loose on the pool and then gossip with another soccer mom for an hour. Ok? Thanks.

No Skinny Dipping

Look, I don’t want to sound like a prude, but, well, I don’t want to see your junk. Nor do I want to see your breasts bobbing in the baby pool. They actually have private pool clubs where you can be natural and freaky, so if you really have a need for this kind of thing, visit one of those instead.

-

Alright, that’s the five. Jot them down and refer to them the next time you’re about to visit the Y – everyone else will be glad you did!

xx Isabella

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      RAVISHARMA 

      10 years ago

      I LOVE YOU RANI

    • Isabella Snow profile imageAUTHOR

      Isabella Snow 

      11 years ago

      You're such a bad man!! ;-)

    • profile image

      Fretbuzz 

      11 years ago

      Is it o.k. to hog the diving board nakedexcept for floaties while doing a cherry bomb screaming and kicking while urinating on the way down?

    • Isabella Snow profile imageAUTHOR

      Isabella Snow 

      11 years ago

      Thanks cgull!

    • cgull8m profile image

      cgull8m 

      11 years ago from North Carolina

      Great tips, I think if anyone wants to do this should do at their own pools not the public ones. Should some common sense like you said.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)