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FUNNY Hilarious Sayings & Hilarious Quotes

Updated on July 1, 2011

Hilarious Sayings & FUNNY Quotes

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
~Author : Oscar Levant Hilarious Funny Sayings x

I exist as I am, that is enough.
~Author : Walt Whitman Song of Myself FUNNY Quotes

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
~Author : Friedrich Nietzsche cute funny sayings Quotes

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
~Author : William Shakespeare Hamlet Act 2 scene 2 Great Sayings

Criminal A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
~Author : Howard Scott Meaningful Sayings

Exercise alone provides psychological and physical benefits. However, if you also adopt a strategy that engages your mind while you exercise, you can get a whole host of psychological benefits fairly quickly.
~Author : James Rippe MD Wise Hilarious Quotes

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me.
~Author : Anne Morrow Lindbergh Motivational Sayings

That's the secret of entertaining. You make your guests feel welcome and at home. If you do that honestly, the rest takes care of itself.
~Author : Barbara Hall Famous Quotes

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
~Author : Mark Twain Inspirational Hilarious Sayings

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    • profile image

      jesus 5 years ago

      jesus is my world but m scared for the rapture.

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      Priest 5 years ago

      hey guys...at least its somebody's mind's creativity...don't critisize if you cant do that...and stop claiming somebody elses jokes too...

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      p sexy girl 6 years ago

      2 all d pple hu posted on dis u guys are soooooooooooo cool . my love to you

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      Kevlar 6 years ago

      I think the shittest one was this one... and "Potty Mouth" sucks just as much as their joke did. :)

      Potty Mouth 88 2 months ago

      No offense but they're not funny at ALL!

      *If you die in an Elevator be sure to press the UP button!

      Yea, that might bring some ha's or not, whateva!

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      Ice drop 6 years ago

      EH dats sooo nt funny at..all

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      sandy 6 years ago

      I believe that this website does not show the real softness and durability of the toilet paper.

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      Brooke 6 years ago

      Natalie's were good(: I took one!

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      Nely 6 years ago

      Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously didnt try to push a door tht say pull!

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      Potty Mouth 88 6 years ago

      No offense but they're not funny at ALL!

      *If you die in an Elevator be sure to press the UP button!

      Yea, that might bring some ha's or not, whateva!

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      Jessica 6 years ago

      stupid.

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      dely 6 years ago

      if you think its funny, you have too much sense of humor.

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      lyricm9 6 years ago

      not funny at all

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      DIGIT 6 years ago

      this aint funny,try o be more creative

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      Someone...o.O 6 years ago

      Dangit! Why do strangers have the best candy!!!??

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      marc 6 years ago

      stand up comedy messed up my sense of humour!o this staf is way below my radar!!! T-Underdog explains it well!

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      fxgxjfvm 6 years ago

      borin

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      Chrissy 6 years ago

      It must be ur ages, because I though they were funny! God job, keep it up and hold ur chin up, you've got talented. haters will always be out there =)

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      LMAO 6 years ago

      If at first you don't succeed,...suck again!!

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      7 years ago

      dis is soo NOT funny...its lame!!

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      T-underdog 7 years ago

      I am smart enough to understand .... that these are not funny. To me funny means LOL. The comments made me LOL not the quotes, understanding them does not make them funny.

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      7 years ago

      see, im lame, i cant even spell racist.

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      7 years ago

      who said im rasist? i hate everybody equally!!!

      im not funny i just pull out something the last second

      "ahmed gokler" on fb

    • profile image

      xompat 7 years ago

      phsewwwww, dumb

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      Emma 7 years ago

      Hardly any of them were funny, but the first one made me smile...does that count?

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      BLAHMAN 7 years ago

      maybe its because im a kid, but this is really not funny. ):

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      aubree 7 years ago

      Natalie, your hilarious. Thankyou for finally making me laugh with a sayin because all the "funny" ones up ther were just dumb.

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      Natalie 7 years ago

      ill put funny ones on here fro u guys:

      -Honk if you love peace and quiet.

      -Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.

      -When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

      -Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in mall parking lots.

      there u guys, if u would like more, contact me on my facebook page at Natalie Cuthbertson :)

    • profile image

      RandomDork 7 years ago

      They have good meanings...but they're not funny...

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      Anonymous 7 years ago

      Your just not smart enough to understand them.

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      Anonymous 7 years ago

      D quotes aint funny at all

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      this is so stupid