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Seeking Happiness and Finding Happiness

Updated on April 15, 2013

Happiness cannot be found. It reveals itself in the journey

The writer at 74 enjoying himself as he tells a story to the some of the audience you can see in the picture below
The writer at 74 enjoying himself as he tells a story to the some of the audience you can see in the picture below
Part of the audience Tom addressed on 12th May 2010.  He's been doing this for over thirty years.
Part of the audience Tom addressed on 12th May 2010. He's been doing this for over thirty years.

Don't bother looking for it

Welcome to this page on finding happiness. It seems that most people want to find happiness. This implies, of course, that most people are either not as happy as they would like to be, or are unhappy a lot of the time.

We've heard the expression that "happiness is a state of mind." So the question is: How do we reach that state? We've probably also heard the biblical verse: "Seek and you will find." Sorry to tell you, but this does not apply to happiness.

You see, there is no point in seeking happiness because happiness cannot be found.

Can't Find Happiness?

Before you become despondent to that observation that "happiness cannot be found;" an answer which will undoubtedly upset some people, I will say this: you can still become very happy. Yes, you can live a contented, happy, even joyful life but, as I said, you cannot "find" that state.

You see, finding implies either searching for and being able to take possession of what you've searched for, or stumbling accidentally upon it and being able to make it yours.

There is a chance you could stumble upon happiness. For most of us, this would be a long shot. Far better to know of a method whereby we can make our own happiness- right?

Method of becoming happy

So what is this method of becoming happy? We can't find it. Chances of stumbling across it accidentally are slight, so what is the method?

Simple: You figure out a way compatible to yourself in which you can make other people happy. I'll paraphrase: We find ourselves in states of happiness when we are enabling others to experience happiness.

Seeking Happiness and Finding Happiness - Do what you enjoy

You'll note the proviso: "a way compatible to yourself." So what does this mean? It means that in order to make others happy you need to be in a state where you are not miserable, angry, or resentful about the ways in which you are enabling others to be happy.

In comedy skits on film and television we often see people laughing uproariously at somebody's else's misfortune: the clown falls over and hurts himself. Everybody laughs - except the clown who is in pain. The old man falls off his bicycle- belly laughs all round. The fat guy can't get through the narrow doorway. Don't be the clown, the old man, or the fat guy. Do what you enjoy.

Another example: You might hate gardening. Trying to help incapacitated people to tidy up their rose gardens would not be for you. Or still another: You abhor driving in heavy traffic. Don't take on a voluntary task of driving patients right across your great city to deliver them to a hospital's outpatients section. You won't look forward to it. Do what you enjoy.

The writer as guest speaker at a Probus Club annual luncheon, doing what he loves: making people happy
The writer as guest speaker at a Probus Club annual luncheon, doing what he loves: making people happy

Do what you love

Yes, do what you love. Don't be a doormat. Pick for yourself something you'd do for the sheer enjoyment of it. Do something you love. It could be a hobby, a pastime, as I said previously, something compatible to you, and then figure out a way that you can use this pastime or hobby to make others happy. To be very clear I will state once again how you can be happy:

You become happy by making others happy.

So, dear reader, don't try to find happiness, because you won't. Happiness is a bi-product. Instead, immerse yourself in activities which give you pleasure. Do the things you know you enjoy, and which you are pretty sure others will enjoy too. And before you know it, you will realize, on those occassions when you look back, that you were happy all along- and that you are now happy most of the time.

I hope you gained something from Seeking Happiness When Happiness Cannot Be Found.  Remember, do what you love, do what you enjoy.

Keep smiling



Submit a Comment

  • JeniferRW profile image


    7 years ago from Couch

    I really enjoyed this hub, good advice and very true from what I've seen. Yesterday at some point I found a hub you posted showing up on my news feed. Everything you have written is very fascinating. I'm still trying to wrap my head around a lot of it but I can't seem to stop reading it either LOL, but this one in particular definitely makes a lot of sense to me. Voted up/useful/awesome/interesting :)


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