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Getting What You Want: An Overview of Methods

Updated on September 4, 2011

What do you really want?

What do you really want? A lot of times we think we want something. “Ooh, this would be the best thing ever,” we say to ourselves, yet when we get it ... well, not so much.

For example, a new toy. It could be a toy truck or it could be an expensive electronic plaything - anything you think will amuse you. Many times you will find that when you get the thing it is somewhat of a let-down. If you delve into the feeling (of being let down) for meaning, you may find that the reason you feel that way is because you really wanted something else to begin with.

Perhaps your friend isn’t interested in the new toy, or perhaps a conflict results about who is going to play with it. Perhaps your friend is interested in playing with the toy without you. Perhaps you find that the toy is of poor quality, is not as advertised, or is quickly broken as you play with it in the way you intended. In any of these results, your expectations surrounding your possession of the thing are not met. You may find that your expectations surrounding ownership were based on false or even foolish ideas - stories in your head that you made up about you, your friend and/or the toy.

Jerry and Esther Hicks, in their book, The Law Of Attraction, make what I think is a very important statement: in order to get what you want, you have to know exactly what it is you want. Take the example of the toy. Is it really the toy you wanted? Or was it the merely the experience of playing with the toy? Or was it really the experience of playing with your friend in a certain way? Unless you know what it really is that you are looking for, how could you possibly expect to get it?

Therefore, before you can get what you want, you must know exactly what it is. The better you know it and the more you know about it, the more likely it is that you will be able to get it.

Where do the things you want come from?

In the Christian Bible, New International Version, in the book of Matthew, chapter 6, verse 8, Jesus is quoted as saying that we should not worry about our basic needs of food and clothing because as The Father (God) cares for the feeding of the birds and the clothing of the grass, He will also care for us. Earlier in the chapter, Jesus says that

God already knows everything we need, so there is really no need to “babble on” about it in prayer.

The point I am trying to tease out here is that everything we need comes from God, The Eternal. Trusting in this is very powerful. I know many people who live beautiful lives and want for nothing simply because they believe that “the Lord will provide.” It works.

Rabbi Salzman, in his book, Open Secrets, tells us that humans are a manifestation of the Eternal’s nature to be everything and nothing simultaneously. Specifically we are the manifestation of the part of God that is mortal, temporary, fallible and ignorant, thus balancing the equation of the immortal, eternal and omniscient God that intends to experience everything. In addition to humans, since God intends to experience everything, God manifests literally everything else, too.

The point I am getting at here is that both everything we need and everything we don’t need comes from the Eternal; everything comes from the Eternal, including the thoughts, emotions and desires you think of as yours. The idea of your separateness is an illusion created by the Eternal so that the Eternal experience being separate beings at the same time the Eternal is the One, all-encompassing Being.

Therefore to ask the Eternal for something is simultaneously both different from and the same as asking yourself for it; your desire is simultaneously your own and the desire of the very Universe itself.

So How Do You Get What You Want?

There are many ways for you to get what you want after you know exactly what it is. Most of us are taught that we can earn money to buy what we want or, through education, practice or other self improvement to become who we want to be, and through becoming this person have what we want. There is a third way to get what we want as well, which is by Intention or The Law of Attraction.

The Work Method:  

  1. Work
  2. Make Money
  3. Buy Things

I do this fairly well, and I am happy to tell you that it is a pretty empty accomplishment. Working for money is boring, and the value of things is directly proportional to the time you can spend enjoying them. Therefore, I believe that working for money to buy things you want is a waste of time.

The "Find Yourself" Method:  

Because the goal is an identity, this is where digging deep to find out what you really want becomes important. We all can name any number of people all dressed up in liberal arts degrees with no place to go and a student loan to pay off. Might as well tattoo a big “L” on your forehead and be done.

No, before embarking on the path to your identity, you need to find out what you really want deep down inside. People call this, ‘finding yourself.‘ Let me give you a hint: college is not necessarily the place to do it. It could be the place, but it also could not.

The key to finding yourself, who you are and what you want is in experiences and looking inward at your reaction to these experiences.

Look inward through introspection, meditation, contemplation or prayer, delving deeply into your being for the fundamental meanings of your emotional reactions. Some Chasidic rabbis said that uncomfortable emotions are a signal that the soul is trying to communicate, so when you are uncomfortable, or have an inexplicable negative reaction, expand that emotion, take ownership of it, and try to decipher the message that your soul is trying to deliver. As you reach out to your soul, the Higher Power will reach out to you, and you will begin to feel the power of the Eternal within.

Seek with innocence experiences you feel will be enjoyable. Try to remain detached from outcomes. Listen carefully to your conscience and your emotions and check often if you are truly enjoying what you are experiencing. Seek more of the experiences you find rewarding and try to avoid those experiences that cause you to feel negative emotions like sadness and anger. By eliminating ‘bad’ experiences and concentrating on ‘good’ experiences, you should be able to gradually focus in on the truth of your innermost desire.

Interestingly, when you find out that you truly enjoy something, suddenly you will notice how much of it is already around you and how much more of it is easily accessible. This will probably make you happy. As you happily think about the wonderful things and experiences around you, you will find that more of the same will appear in your life.

The Law of Attraction and The Power of Intention

The previous paragraph very basically outlines how to use The Power of Intention and/or The Law of Attraction to get what you want. Wayne Dyer’s famous book, The Power of Intention, teaches how we can manifest things and experiences simply by intending them to be so. According to Mike Dooley, author of Manifesting Change, thoughts become things. In their book, The Law of Attraction, Jerry and Esther Hicks tell us how to focus our desires and attitudes to maximize our attractive powers to attract the things we want. Robert Scheinfeld, in his book, Busting Loose from The Money Game, tells us how to access our higher selves to reclaim the power that we, as eternal beings, put into the illusions we created for ourselves in this physical existence, thus freeing ourselves from some of our physical limitations.

These works share some similar themes:

  • Practicing meditation, contemplation and/or introspection to gain control and understanding of our own emotions - which is the key to...
  • Knowing exactly what you want
  • Showing appreciation for things you want as they come into your life
  • Being receptive to the tools that you find to help you get what you want
  • Remaining detached from the things you you get, such that you can give them away without hesitation

According to The Law of Attraction, the Eternal will bring you anything that really gets your attention. This is what the saying, “Be careful what you wish for,” means, basically. If something is on your mind a lot, chances are it will come into your life. If it is already in your life and you are devoting a lot of your attention to it, more of it will come into your life.

(I can attest that this happens for me.)

So if you worry a lot about money, you will get more reason to worry about money. If you concentrate on working hard to make money, the Eternal will bring you more opportunity to work. If you love giving to help others, the Eternal will bring you more resources to give. If you wish experiences for others, the Eternal will bring what you wish for others into your life.

There is a step-by-step process leading to the delivery of things in the physical existence. The Eternal, however, can simply create. Yet The Eternal, as us, is not here to materialize things out of nothing, generally speaking. The Eternal, as us, is here to experience desire, waiting, striving, disappointment, doubt, limitations, triumph - everything the physical existence offers. Therefore you will see that the experiences you want will be delivered to you by ‘normal’ means. If your desire requires it, Money will come from an unexpected bonus, gift or means of making money. If your desire needs people to help it come into existence, they will appear, transferred into your branch office, stumbling over you in the supermarket or by some strange coincidence of mutual interest, place and time. If you look for these ‘coincidences’ you will find them.

The people who live by, “The Lord Will Provide,” will verify that this, indeed, is the way that The Lord provides. They will also tell you to be generous, accepting, helpful, loving and forgiving as The Lord has been with them. The Law of Attraction is in total agreement with this, saying that if you are generous, accepting, helpful, loving and forgiving, the Universe will, in turn, display these qualities to you.

In conclusion, may your journey through the physical existence be full of memorable, rich experiences that ultimately bring you joy; may you be blessed with knowing what you really want; may you have the courage and positive attitude necessary to pursue it will all your resourcefulness; and may you reap the rewards of your efforts with surprising ease.


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    • Tom Rubenoff profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom rubenoff 

      7 years ago from United States

      Thank you, Ruby! I felt compelled to write about it.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      This is interesting and i find extremely accurate. Mediation is a wonderful aid in finding your inner self, it doesn't happen overnight, it takes practice. Sometimes i find that what i thought was very important and something i wanted the most, faded. Thank you for a very enlightening topic.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom rubenoff 

      7 years ago from United States

      I predict that you will get what you want.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 

      7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I want to know what I want.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom rubenoff 

      7 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Phil. I think that looking inward to find out what you really want is one of the most beneficial exercises a person can do.

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 

      7 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      I read the the whole thing, and then again a second time as it is richly written. Ultimately your hub has led me to question further what I want. I think a key point you make is concerning the Law of Attraction - I have personally seen this in action also.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom rubenoff 

      7 years ago from United States

      Much of the wisdom of the Eastern European rabbis was lost by the middle of the twentieth century, Dyhanna, yet the fragments that survive carry beautiful, timeless lessons. Thank you.

      Such a compliment, Seattlegirl! I enjoyed writing it and also got the beginning of another article or two out of the process. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

    • theseattlegirl profile image


      7 years ago from Seattle, WA

      What I love about this hub is the very evident amount of love you put into it. It's informative, lengthy (a bonus to reader-types like me), well-organized and formatted, and well-written.

      I don't even have to agree or disagree with you: I'm just swept along by the writing and design. Voted Up, if only for the quality of all this hub's ingredients!

    • Dyhannah profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      Great comprehensive Hub with awesome conclusion. I have never heard of the wisdom you shared about the Chasidic rabbis but do something similar. Thanks


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