9 Characteristics of a Real Man: Traits of Choice

Everyone today has an opinion of what a real man looks like. I respect that. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and because they are and I respect that I want to take this opportunity to share my opinion, for what it’s worth. But before I do, I would like to provide some perspective, so here is one man’s opinion, chosen at random as a result of his SEO on the Internet. This is one writer’s Top Ten Traits of a Real Man. I encourage you to read the article in its entirety. http://www.askmen.com/money/mafioso_60/98_mafia.html

My rebuttal to this article is in no way intended to be a critique of the article or a judgment of its content or its author. My intent is simply to express another opinion from which other men can gain perspective and draw their own conclusions. I will say the article is well written and it is quite provocative and entertaining. I enjoyed the read.

In the spirit of competing, I too have a number to attach to my top characteristics of a real man. However, I must already concede that I have been outdone. So with humility, I offer my Top 9 Characteristics of a Real Male.

My version of this list is based on the perception I have in my mind of the type of men with whom I would want to associate socially, do business with professionally and marry off wholeheartedly to my daughters. I see these men as representatives of the male species filled to overflowing with gratitude because they know who they really are, what they desire and how to manifest it intrinsically and intuitively, without unsolicited interference from the outside world. They are men who model the decision that they already possess all they need and, as such, are truly abundant.

Love and Respect Life

My vision of a real man is one who loves and respects all life and because he reveres it so deeply and is aware of its delicate balance and brief nature, lives it to the fullest each day. I see real men as people who understand love and its many languages and therefore they treat each relationship in which they engage with honesty and integrity. This real man also knows that love and life are physical manifestations of the source of all being, however defined, and therefore accepts responsibility for himself when standing in its presence.

Know How to Experience Joy

Men who are free to experience joy in untold ways and with abandon know they are connected to its core and to each other. They see themselves recreating and abiding in that joy under any circumstance. They are over comers, rising above the obstacles everyone encounters and knowing they’re connected to each other and therefore never have to endure hardship alone. They experience joy in each area of life because they are givers who expect nothing in return. It is in the giving that the experience of joy exists.

Are at Peace

Since the beginning of time men have been viewed as warriors and hunter gatherers. While these are undeniable traits of our ancestors, real men, in my humble opinion, are at peace with the world because they are at peace with themselves. Real men are at peace with their neighbors because they comprehend the abundance of life and are content with the knowledge that they know enough, have enough and are enough. These guys also maintain an inner peace having learned that coexistence through collaboration far outweighs annihilation through competition. A man at peace with himself and his environment lives a life that is not about income, or outcome, but about welcome! Because he is strong he is welcomed into the lives of others and welcomes all into his home and community. It’s not that he is too fearless to be tested; it’s just that he has already fought the battle within and passed the exam!

Are Patient

A real man is patient with himself and with those who come into his path. His judgment is limited only to that from which he learns. He recognizes that there are no mistakes, only lessons. He acknowledges that there is a season for everything and that each individual on the face of this planet has a purpose as well as a choice to execute it. He endorses encouragement and edification of the those with whom he interacts and relinquishes control of his ego, accepting the outcome as being for his highest good and the highest good of all concerned.

Display Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness and Faithfulness

Characteristic numbers 5,6,7 and 8 are men whose primary goals emanate from a source unconcerned with possessions, are focused instead on the proliferation of the 4 virtues listed above and produce an incalculable benefit for all of mankind. These virtues, given and received, spoken and written, felt and demonstrated each moment a real man breathes, offered without second thought and without favor, are revelations from the source which provided them in the first place and a lamp to the path of quality living.

Demonstrate Self Control

Men who demonstrate high levels of self-control make a regular habit of examining the motives for their thoughts and actions. When, through self examination, they find it necessary to correct their course they have the strength and discipline to do so. These men are able to change because they have practiced the art of listening, quieting the mind and surrendering to a power greater than themselves. They have made a routine of being, of living in the present moment and recognizing that they are not separate from, but a part of, a greater whole of life. This discipline of examination often promotes the kind of open mindedness that leads to wisdom, creativity and powerful leadership skills.

You may be asking yourself, where are these men? You may say this looks and sounds like an ideal more than a reality. You may say that you have searched high and low for men like this to help your organization or community and they are just not out there. While this may, in fact, be true, like most other phenomena in the universe, it is more likely to be a matter of perspective. We didn’t always see the earth as round; we didn't always think we could land on the moon; before the Hubble telescope we couldn’t see the galaxies that exist even though they have always been right before our telescope eyes. Or maybe a little bit closer to home; have you ever been a little bit embarrassed by asking a retail associate where a certain product is located in the store only to be told its right in front of you? I know I have!

So, I believe, it is in this case. My vision is that there is an entire world of real men, just like I have described above. Where, you ask again? Hidden, right in front of you; standing next to you; right beside you and behind you; in fact, all around you! I see real men who were once weak in many of the areas mentioned above, yet are now stronger and growing. These men have been standing up for and standing behind us for so long we have forgotten who they really are. They may be our husband, father, brother or friend. But they are there!

It is my belief that the real men I illustrated in this article are present in our lives every day. They may not look to you or to themselves as I have depicted them because we, as a society or culture, through our conditioning, have fashioned these beings into what we see today. I contend that all that I have written here is actually within each man waiting to be remembered, rekindled, reconditioned, reformed and transformed into the real men of the grand original design. I believe that process is taking place as we speak.

The paradox of this process is that we make the choices to see what we see. Our perspective, or beliefs, in conjunction with our attitudes, expectations, thoughts and emotions is a process of living that helps create our vision and our subsequent reality. The paradox is that every man possesses the character qualities discussed here and in the referenced article above and they coexist with all of the junk that we see in our world in the news. The paradox is the choice each man makes to be real or not, to be himself or not, to do the things he likes, enjoys, is productive doing and is eminently designed to do or not! So, if we are going to teach or train our men to do anything, let us teach them the reality of life and that is; each of us is responsible to and for our own decisions as well as the consequences of the choices we make and those consequences affect all of us and they are as real as it gets!

Peace be with you all!