Honesty, Lie, and Deception

We want to be honest because it is easier to deal with things the way they really are without justification, reservation, and rational. But, every now and then, we lie as to what things really are in order to get what we want. By lying, we lose our trustworthiness, integrity, and innocence. However, when honesty and lie no longer work, we retort to deception to reach our goal by manipulating how things really are. Being aware of the deception, we learn to:

1. Believe what people say till all the facts are checked out,

2. Guard our true intention even from the close acquaintance, and

3. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst in any situation.

   Our world started out simple where a person’s word is golden, intention is pure, and honor is priceless. As our population grows and more people are competing for limited resources,

• Honesty has become a weakness that can be taken advantage of,

• Lie has become a necessity that can be used to make better use of what we know, and

• Deception has become a game that we need to know how to play.

Honesty

Honesty is the best policy, always tell the truth, and be straightforward about one’s intention. Those were what we were taught at home and in school. As we grow older and venture out into the society to strive for an independent life, we find that:

1. Honesty about our personal belief, cultural background, aspiration, etc. will make more adversaries than friends,

2. Honesty about our capabilities, educational background, and personal goal will not guarantee to get the job we want,

3. Honesty about workplace conditions, co-worker slacking off on the job, and how much we make will more than likely to be branded as a trouble-maker by the company,

4. Honesty about our feelings, opinions, and moral standards are best kept within the family and amongst close friends, etc.

   As a result, we learn to:

• Hold back on what we know when talking to stranger,

• Mind our own business in public, and

• Beat around the bush about our truing feelings.

Lie

At a young age, we learn to lie to:

• Avoid punishment for not doing what we are supposed to,

• Gain acceptance from the peers, and

• Cover up the wrong doings due to our mischievousness.

  As we grow older and become a teenager, we are self-conscious and rebellious. Our thinking is more at the mercy of the physical urges. We lie:

• To avoid embarrassment to our shortcomings,

• About our secret friends and the extra curricula activities, and

• On what we promise our parents what we will do.

  As we become adult, we realize that there is a prize to be paid to lie. When a lie is exposed, we may lose our trustworthiness, close friends, and self-esteem. Even so, we lie:

1. When our livelihood is threatened – perjury is a common crime,

2. To cover our unsavory obsessions – drinking, gambling, sexual desire,

3. About being late for an appointment, not keeping a promise, not showing up at work due to sickness, etc.

   As we reach retirement age and at the end stage of life’s journey, we find that there is no longer the pressure to lie and we can enjoy an honest living with no stress and scheming.

Deception

Most of us first learn about what deception is from:

1. Advertisement where a product’s image and function are manipulated to be more appealing than what they really are,

2. Sale person who knows how to exploit people’s weakness into buying things that either one doesn’t need or can afford,

3. Financier who uses clever Ponzi scheme to take people’s hard-earned money, etc.

   From the above experience, some of us learn to play the game of deception:

1. We try to package ourselves to be more attractive in job interview, dating, etc,

2. We try to use loopholes in the rules and regulations, rumors and innuendos, and character assassination to achieve our career goal,

3. We try to invent fake story to backup our claims, come up with elaborate schemes to dress up our plans, and use bridge loan, line of credit, and any mean to beef up our finance.

ABC

Our man-made world is populated with people from all walks of life. Each with unique mental and physical capabilities tries to eke out a living the best ways one knows how:

• Some can make an honest living by relying on what they know and what they can do,

• Some find it necessary to lie about what they know and what they can do to have a chance of making a living.

  When lying is not working, some use what they know and what they can do in deception for a luxurious living at the expense of other people. After the emergence of human beings, life on Earth is no longer straightforward. We live not only for food and reproduction but also for happiness, health, hope, friendship, family, fame, etc. Those subject matters have created a complex social interactions and orders where no one is who and what one appears to be. A person can choose to be honest, to lie, or to be deceptive depending on the circumstances. Yet, with ABC (Awareness, Benevolence, and Conscience), we are able to co-exist with manageable personal conflicts, emotional distress, and financial mishaps.