How To Kill A Spider in Your House
Spiders, oh how they make most people's skin crawl just from thinking about them. Those large many eyes, the 8 legs of terror, those little fangs you may or may not see, all these and more make many people disgusted and afraid of the little arachnids. They aren't exactly turtles or snails when it comes to speed though, so killing one of these beasts can be tricky. There are many tools you have at your disposal though, and good news most of them are in fact every day items (though you may not use them for anything else afterwards, depending on how you feel about spider germs).
When killing or capturing a spider for outside release there are tools laying around most people's houses. Cups, buckets, and other cylindrical items with only one open side that can easily be covered with cardboard, paper, or another cup. Use those items for the capture, whether to take it outside or for transportation to the bathroom sink. I choose the bathroom sink mostly because most people do not prepare food in there and there aren't usually as many flammable objects in the general area.
Flammable? Why would I use the term flammable? Easy enough to explain, because one of the choices for spider euthanasia is flame, fire, a roast, etc. Many people use matches to kill ticks that end up on their cats or dogs, or at least my family always has, and spiders are no different. When using flame make sure the cup or device in which the spider is held is not flammable itself, or you could just let the little guy free if he manages to escape. Spiders hate fire, and when it starts to get hot they tend to run away from the heat so make sure you don't open the top all the way, if the top or the cup is see-through it makes the job SO much easier. So you know how to flame a spider, use a match and just drop it on the spider, poke the spider, etc., but what if fire makes you nervous even with the cup in the bathroom sink?
Well, there is always the drowning technique although I do not favor this one compared to the fire one. Move the lid a little bit off from the top of the captured device and put it under the running facet, making sure the little spider (or big spider) doesn't get out. Fill the object the spider is held in to the very top and move the cover back over the small hole you made for the water. Keep the cup in the sink for a few minutes, watching to make sure the spider doesn't get out (assume the spider is able to escape from anything). After a good half hour, the spider should most likely be dead, unless you didn't put in enough water so he had air or the spider is aqua-man.
Another option is squishing the spider, and the most obvious for some people. A shoe, piece of toilet paper/tissue/paper towel, or even a hand (ughh) can be used for this. Simply put weight on the spider and squish the life out of him, wipe off any guts you got on the wall/floor/shoe/etc. and dispose of him as stated below.
Disposing of the Body
Removing the body is a necessary step in this process, and an important one. If you have seen CSI you know bodies are not always well disposed of. Fortunately for you spiders are not people, and you don't have to worry about murder charges if his little corpse is found. (Some species may be illegal to kill in some places). If you flamed the little guy, make sure the body is cool and not on fire, dosing him in water will take care of that for you. If you drowned our 8 legged enemy, just drain the water into the sink (not the spider). If you squished the spider, you have nothing extra to do besides getting rid of him and cleaning the juice off if you got it anywhere. You can either put him into the toilet and flush or put him into a trash can, your choice.
Hopefully this will save your life someday, as spiders are evil creatures bent on destroying us and making themselves our rulers someday. Feel free to share any other spider killing techniques in the comments for other spider assassins (people who kill spiders, not spiders who are assassins) and have a wonderful, spider-free house. :)