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How To Read a Child's School Report: a Humorous Look

Updated on May 15, 2014
DzyMsLizzy profile image

Liz considers herself an amateur comedienne. She loves practical jokes, and also used to perform with an improvisational comedy troupe.

Translating those report card evaluations can be tricky
Translating those report card evaluations can be tricky | Source

Teachers Try Very Hard

They really do try to work fairly and calmly with all the children in the class. As with any large group of people, children, like adults, will exhibit varying personality traits, and no two are alike.


Let's have a look-see at what the poor teacher is really trying to say, without seeming mean or uncaring.

Your Child is Very Expressive

This can mean several things, but most likely, this kid is a chatterbox whom the teacher dearly wishes would stop talking in class so the lesson can proceed as scheduled.

With the constant interruptions to remind the kids to keep quiet, it is very difficult to present the day's lessons.

Your Child Has Multiple Talents

Watch out for this one. It is unlikely to mean that little Bobby or Susie is skilled in all areas of study.

Probably, this is the class clown; a kid very good at making all the others laugh and stop paying attention. Whether it be climbing on the desks, zooming around the room pretending to be a super-hero, or creating general chaos by any number of creative means.

This Student Will be a Fine Artist One Day

Uh-oh! This is the kid who's spent quite a bit of time in the principal's office for assorted graffiti adventures around the school.

It first came to the teacher's attention with an artwork drawn on his desk during a test. The test was not taken, despite appearances to the contrary, with his head been low in rapt concentration.

Your Child Has a Good Imagination

Well, well, well. This could be a good thing, or a bad thing. But it most often means that the wild stories she tells during 'sharing' time are straight out of her imagination, and nowhere else.

Possible career choices for a child with these talents include politics, car sales, or possibly science fiction writer.

Disclaimer

I have a great respect and admiration for teachers. They have a tough job, and I know I could not do it; I don't have the required patience.

This is meant all in fun, and no disrespect to teachers is intended.

© 2014 Liz Elias

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  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
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    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, ChristinS,

    LOL That is funny. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm sure others will relate to such comments on school papers. Maybe we should hold a seminar for deciphering "teacher code." ;)

  • ChristinS profile image

    Christin Sander 3 years ago from Midwest

    :) My youngest sons teacher sends home one of his little Kindergarten papers the other day with a note "Mom is finally getting recognition too!" with a smiley face. The paper had sentences with "I love my mom" "I hug my mom" etc. but he is a Daddy's boy - everything he wants daddy lol. I thought it was comical his teacher actually put it as a note on his paper. I think it was code for "Gee, maybe you are an involved mother after all. This kid rattles on about his dad so much we wondered if you even exist ;). " lol. Cute hub and I can definitely see these being true in a lot of instances.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
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    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, Rochelle!

    Yes, I'm sure the regular teacher understood, knowing her pupils as she surely would. ;-) Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • Rochelle Frank profile image

    Rochelle Frank 3 years ago from California Gold Country

    Since I was a Sub teacher for several years I did not usually have to do much evaluation, but I did leave notes for the returning teacher. When I used any of these phrases to describe class behavior, I'm sure the teacher understood the 'code'.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
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    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, Suzanne Day!

    ;-) I'm glad you enjoyed this whimsical look at 'teacherspeak.' Thanks very much for the share! Much appreciated.

  • Suzanne Day profile image

    Suzanne Day 3 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

    Hi Lizzy, this is an interesting concept for a hub! Now I can interpret the teacherspeak during report time with my two. Voted funny and scheduled for sharing at What The Hub? on Facebook ;)

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, Nell--

    Oh, I admire you for teaching, and at the same time, I don't envy you that! I'm glad you enjoyed this fluff. ;-)

  • Nell Rose profile image

    Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

    Funny stuff and so true Lizzy! I used to help teach Kumon, after school maths and English and yes we did try to put it politely sometimes! lol!

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello Ann1Az2!

    I'm delighted you enjoyed the piece. I have no doubt that anyone who has spent any time at all in or near a school can relate. I thank you for the vote!

  • Ann1Az2 profile image

    Ann1Az2 3 years ago from Orange, Texas

    Very good, MsLizzy! All too funny. Since I volunteer at our Christian school, I can totally relate to some of the characteristics of the children you mention! We've had more than one or two who would like nothing more to do than color!

    Well done and voted up.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, brakel2--

    Thanks so very much for your kind words. You are so right; teachers seem to have a nearly endless reserve of patience. As for me, I was locked in a bank vault when they handed out that virtue! ;-)

    Thanks for the share; I'm glad you so enjoyed this bit of whimsy.

  • brakel2 profile image

    Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

    Hi Dzy. You possess such creativity and the descriptions ring so true. Teachers remind me of angels tending to our children with patience and a good sense of humor Sometimes the humor may wear off on bad days. Your hub is almost like a tribute to teachers in your entertaining way. Great writing. Will share. Blessings. Audrey

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi there, AliciaC,

    I'm so glad you enjoyed this silly set of interpretations. Although, I'm rather sure that it's close to the truth...you know the old saying, "Many a true word is spoken in jest." Thanks very much for your comment.

  • AliciaC profile image

    Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    Thanks for the entertainment, DzyMsLizzy! This hub is funny and enjoyable.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, grand old lady--

    LOL I know what you mean. The closest I came to a teaching profession was when I was a scout leader when my kids were in Girl Scouts. I really struggled to be nice to some of them; there were a couple that I would rather not take across the street, let alone on a camping trip!

    After my kids "graduated" to the upper levels of scouting, I switched my focus to leadership training with adults! ;)

    Thanks so much for stopping by.

  • grand old lady profile image

    Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

    I recognize each child you have mentioned, and it reminds me of why I will never, never teach children.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ greatstuff--LOL--yes, this current need to be tiptoeing around the truth and peoples' over-sensitive feelings can get ridiculous. I'm glad you enjoyed this silly article. Thanks very much for sharing your own experience.

    @ epbooks--Thank you very much. I'm delighted you found it fun to read.

  • epbooks profile image

    Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

    This hub is really cute. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

  • greatstuff profile image

    Mazlan 3 years ago from Malaysia

    This is very similar to the end of the year staff's review that I really dread to do. You need to be honest and also be on the positive notes. So I had to write phrases that I can honestly say are really silly. Thank God I am retired now and don't have to do them anymore! hahaha

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hello, Jodah,

    LOL thanks for your input. I escaped that particular fiasco myself; in fact, my girls were such darlings in school, never a negative report, that I often found myself wondering why the kids I got all the compliments on did not live with me..... :-D

    Their behavior at home did not match... :-D

  • Jodah profile image

    John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

    DzyMzLizzy I meant...sorry... :)

  • Jodah profile image

    John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

    Very funny MsDora, but also probably very close to the truth. Most teachers try to be diplomatic. I have seen a couple of my kids reports that don't beat around the bush though eg. Your child..... Has trouble concentrating on the subject and is a disruptive influence...etc. of course a teacher/ parent interview was called for.

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
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    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    Hi, FlourishAnyway.

    I know what you mean! I barely managed to raise my own with my sanity intact. LOL It seems the older I get, the less patience I have. Thanks for stopping by: glad you liked the piece.

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

    cute ... and I sure don't have the patience for the little fears either

  • DzyMsLizzy profile image
    Author

    Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

    @ billybuc--LOL--glad you enjoyed the fun. Thanks for stopping by.

    @ MsDora--Thanks much for the vote! I'm delighted you liked this bit of fluff.

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

    Voted funny! I'm sure even the teachers will laugh.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Awesome. As a teacher for eighteen years, I do believe I used these lines a few times. :)