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How to control Anger - Tips and Advice

Updated on July 17, 2008
Photo by Flickr-zalgon's photo stream
Photo by Flickr-zalgon's photo stream

Anger- a state of mind that varies in intensity depending on the external environment and trigger sources.

In a fit of anger it is easy for one to lose one senses and commit grave mistakes which one may regret gravely later.

I do get seriously annoyed with my pesky toddlers when they wreak havoc in the house.

Here is how I deal with them ( I feel that it can also be applied to adults)

  1. Walk away to cool down if possible.

    If you keep on staring/facing the object/person of your anger it would only make you more worked up and increase your blood pressure.

  2. Think cool thoughts.

    Remember that shouting or being physical may lead to unforseen consequences that will not solve the problem at hand.

  3. Take some time out.

    If the person at the other end is being unreasonable(as normally kids are) to be firm and direct in telling them that you are in no mood to argue with them and you disagree with their ways/opinions. Until and unless you are certain that the other person will be able to see your reasoning it is best to leave the discussion for another da or a later time.

  4. Use a non-confrontal approach.

    If you feel that direct confrontation with the other person is not what you want you can always write a note, send a text message or e-mail stating your point of view and disagreement. I drop notes on the fridge for my 4yr old to read when I get annoyed with him.

  5. Give yourself time to collate your thoughts and your next course of action.

    For me my main problem is getting the kids to clean up after themselves. It can really drive me mad at times. I would tell them sternly to pick up their toys and put it back in the toy box. Set a time frame and leave them to do it. After the time is up and nothing is still done I will then let them face the consequences for not following instructions.

It is never easy to control anger but with practice and experience you will definately learn how to be more patient and learn how to reduce/remove your trigger sources.


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    • DominiqueGoh profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Singapore


      thanks ofr your comments. I am working with a reward chart for my boy at the moment and modelling the " suitable" behaviour of keeping after himself. It has been working for him.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Good and actionable advice on how to control anger. I got the same problem to get my little boy to put his toys back to the toys box. It has become a habit for him not to do so.

      Feel free to visit my anger related website at

      Appreciate your comments.

    • Trsmd profile image


      10 years ago from India

      very good informative hubpage..

      for more information about this subject you can visit this page also..

    • SweetiePie profile image


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Good tips for controlling anger.


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