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Inventions I'd Like to See

Updated on June 27, 2016
Cool invention, huh?
Cool invention, huh?

Shoelaces designed to break at other than the worst possible moment.

A suitably pretentious under-$10-a-bottle wine I can foist on my oenophilic friends.

Guns that fire only mini-marshmallows.

Cars with 25-mile-an-hour bumpers that propel a day-glo ‘STUPID’ sticker onto the offending vehicle.

Geriatric teddies to liven up nursing homes.

Cellphones and Bluetooth headsets that come with their own ‘cones of silence’.

A dog that doesn’t salivate, and that has odorless fur and breath.

80-proof whipped cream.

More bizarros at rickzworld.

A political podium with combination microphone/lie detector built in.

A load and embarrassing alarm with flashing lights triggered at any cash register when a customer tries to pay with a check for merchandise totaling less than $10.

Self-changing diapers with built-in air freshener and haz-mat wrap.

A personal jet that requires less-than-video-game skill to fly.

Aphrodisiac calcium supplements to save aging marriages.

A combination GPS/television remote control that will find ME for a change.

Traffic cops with a sense of humor.

Shrinkwrap plastic that’s actually weaker than the item it encases.

Pill bottle caps that aren’t adult-proof.

Non-alcoholic Scotch labeled as if it was 43% alcohol, to disarm my normally drunken lout of a brother-in-law next Christmas.

Self-cleaning and –deodorizing and –disposing cat litter. (Or maybe just a reasonably realistic-looking and –acting robot cat that never poops.)

DMV workers that move in real time.

A neural implant device for elderly drivers that automatically triggers the correct turn signal.

Sex Thursday.


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    • rickzimmerman profile image

      rickzimmerman 8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      stars439: Watch for more new inventions — coming soon! Rick Z

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Very neat inventions.

    • rickzimmerman profile image

      rickzimmerman 8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      You are welcome! Glad to oblige, and I hope to entertain you with more.

    • tim-tim profile image

      Priscilla Chan 8 years ago from Normal, Illinois

      Nice and different. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    • rickzimmerman profile image

      rickzimmerman 8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks! Nice adds.

    • 2patricias profile image

      2patricias 8 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      We like the idea of SatNav that finds a parking place that it easy to get into (and out of).

      Reading glasses that you can locate with your mobile phone.

      (ie you dial the number of your glasses and they make a beeping noise so that you can find them).

      Very springy but fashionable shoes.

      And we so agree on the cat litter idea....