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Ivory Bill Confusion

Updated on February 19, 2012

A Wood Pecker

Woodpeckers and other Local Stuff

The local birdwatchers group here in Lulawissie has raised enough of a controversy over the local woodpecker population, you’d think they were a local chapter of PETA (which is not allowed in Lulawissie). It seems that last Friday, when the local OSR (Organization for Southern Resurrection) had their monthly island shootout, it was suspected that an Ivory Billed Woodpecker was inadvertently killed. We know that there is a small breeding community of Ivory Bills across the lake in the remote areas of Malone’s Cove, but it was a surprise to hear of one being injured after dark on Rockhead Island. It suggests that there are more Ivory Bills around Lake Lulawissie than we realized. Perhaps the population is booming? It would be interesting to see.

Rickey Hunsacker, the aquatics biologist that was hired to investigate the black crappie situation offered his assistance in locating the new population of Ivory Bills. He has had some experience in Aquatic Ornithology, and studied the Ivory Bill just as a hobby. He was excited to be able to participate since he had never actually seen a live specimen. I will be updating all of my readers on this situation in the days and weeks to come.

Otherwise, things in Lulawissie have been anything but quiet. There has been some fallout since I last wrote about shenanigans going on with Father Mike and the Reverend Mother. Nothing has changed though, except it has caused a bit of confusion and dissension between the long married couples here in town. The wives of even the longest lasting marriages here are completely disgusted with the situation, and refer to Reverend Mother Veronica as “The Slut” and Father Mike as “Father Infidel”. The husbands take a different stance to the issue, of course. There seems to be a sudden rise in church attendance among the men, as well as extra time spent in the confessional. There has also been a sudden increase in the visitations of the Reverend Mother by the husbands as well. Of course it goes both ways, some of the women have sought private “religious” counseling with Father Mike on a regular basis. There has also been an increase in the regular monthly order of the sacramental wine, but that is probably just a coincidence.

Ah! Such is life in this quietly idyllic town. The coverings of even the most innocent children’s book cannot hide what may lie within, thus is merely a façade. Perhaps even Willoughby may hide its deepest secrets in the doldrums of dark perversion. One can only hope to know.

It is a sunny afternoon here in Lulawissie. The sun is shimmering on the wind swept ripples of the lake as I listen to “Sleepwalk” playing on the radio. There is a single sailboat out on the water, with a lone figure lying quietly on the bow as she suns herself. The final days of summer are upon us and you can feel the autumn air at night, slowly creeping in with its unmistakable chill. We are happening upon my favorite time of the year, when it cools off, broken by a short Indian summer. Soon the leaves that surround this beautiful Southern paradise will be painted by nature’s paintbrush from her palette of crimson, vermillion and salmon. It is a sweet thing to anticipate.

Until next time, my friends.

The entire contents of this writing, and all writings previous to this one, including the name “Lulawissie”, are the original work of Delbert Banks and are protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. © 2010 By Delbert Banks


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    • badegg profile image

      Del Banks 7 years ago from Southern Appalachians

      I don't recall a Saline County in Georgia. There is a Jasper County, but the City of Jasper and Hill City are in Pickens County, Ga.

    • profile image

      Jim 7 years ago

      There have been some reported sightings of an Ivory Billed Woodpecker in western Saline County (Hill City area), Georgia. It there were some photos taken, turned over to the DNR, but nothing ever came of them. Also some have been reportedly seen in the same county in the Jasper city limits in a large stand of pines near the downtown area (it is a small, rural town).