My Life As A Limo Driver

Ok. So, a friend of a friend told me about his friend that owned a Limousine Company and that he was looking for drivers.

And, if you live in New York, your'e always looking for that 2nd job!

So, a new suit, hair cut, shave, a beautiful 10 passenger stretch and I'm on my way!

New York City - Just Like I Pictured It!

Wow, where do I start...there's Midtown with The Theater District with all of it's show's, movies and for us sophisticates - The Ballet!

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Don't Forget Their Famous Restaurants*

Which is completely impossible to even list here! So, I'll just go with a couple of my favorites.

http://www.sparkssteakhouse.com/

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As a celebration of their 10 year wedding anniversary, I was hired by a couple to bring them into the city. The first stop? "Phantom of the Opera" Ah love, it's a beautiful thing! ( Or, so, my divorce attorney would say!)

Anyway, it was a crazy day and I was looking forward to some quiet time to do some paper work. Before I got started, I thought I'd grab a couple of dirty dogs from one of my favorite street vendors on the corner of 7th Ave. & 45th St... Bennie knows just how I like 'em...extra sauerkraut, extra mustard.

A few hours and a couple of files later, my alarm goes off, reminding me to meet my people at the theatre. I also picked up a dozen white roses as a little something for them in celebration of their anniversary.

They were so touched by my thoughtfulness that I knew a good tip was in the bag! Well, no one works for free, you know! So, when I asked where to next, he said Carnegie's Deli.

I felt like - Pavlov's Dogs. This food is to kill for. I mean to die for. Hey, this is New York. Either way works. So, I dropped them off and found a parking space right across the street. I got out, took off my jacket, walked to the corner got a newspaper and a coke and turned on the radio - WCBS - FM! You had to ask? Joe Causi was on! (http://wcbsfm.cbslocal.com)

A while later, I just hung up with the kids to say good night, when my client knocked on my window. He said, hey Lou, I hope you're hungry... He handed me a bag and went back inside. Remember the comment about Pavlov's Dogs? This place has a Corned Beef & Pastrami Sandwich that is well, about the size of...I have a better idea, let me show what this thing looks like - and that it took me 2 days to eat!

Heading downtown, there are plenty of colorful, wild and crazy places, such as Jeckle & Hyde...you have got to see this place.

And of course, for us Italians, you gotta come to Little Italy - Capisci? Tell my cousin Vinny I said "he still owe's me a favor" and rub your ear lobe with your thumb and forefinger when you say it. (make sure nobody's watching you!)

Let's not forget China Town for the best Lobster Cantonese!

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I was told that this particular job consisted of VIP's and that I had to be on my BEST BEHAVIOUR! Hey, I know how to behave, I've had lessons!

There I am...with about 10 guys in the back of my limo - all laughing, joking, drinking, yelling, screaming - just having a great time. Mind you I was having fun just trying to keep up with their little pranks that they were playing on me. One of the guys told me that once a year they all meet for dinner as part of a reunion and that some of them go back as far as grade school!

So, we pull up to this restaurant downtown. After I opened the door and let the boys out, I said just give me quick call and I'll be here in 2 minutes to pick you up. I was then told that - you're coming in with us! I said, very politely, what are you nuts? Go have fun with the gang, it's your night, go enjoy! He then asked me two more times. I figured if I refuse a 3rd time, that may cost me my tip. So, I said ok, you got me.

There must have been about 17 wild and crazy guys there! Already on their way to a terrific hang over. Next, the appetizers start flying, along with about 12 bottles of wine. Dinner? What else a couple of Porter House on the bone, along with some incredible side dishes. More bread, more wine, Scotch, etc, etc, etc. I felt like I died and went to heaven.

After several hours of eating and drinking like it was everyone's last meal, the head man gets the check and announces to all - let's see, everybody kick in $300 each. I guess the look of panic showed on my face because my new found pal said, don't worry, you're taken care of. Unreal. (But the nights not over.)

I was then told - go this way, go that way, make a left, make a right, go down a couple of blocks, make another right and pull up right here...right in front of a Nudie Bar.

So, I do my thing, I opened the doors and let the boys out. Being approached by client once again, he tells me that I am going in with them! I said thanks, but no thanks. After saying no a few times, I realized that no was not the answer these guys are used to hearing.

So, I park the limo and follow the boys. As we walked in, my pal called over several women and instructed each one to take care of this guy, this guy and this guy and he pointed to me and said - you take care of him! Uh, thanks but no thanks. So, I made some conversation, had a few ginger ale's watched everyone else enjoy themselves then slipped out the door.

After about 3 - 4 hours, the boys come walking out. Of course they were mostly walking side to side! On to 3 more bars, then it was time to head back to Long Island. Until, one of the guys suggested one more stop!

Of course they had to throw in one more beer run to complete the night / day. Pulling up to the final stop, just as the sun came up and that was that! Yes, the tip was great also.

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I had the ultimate pleasure of driving around a particularly beautiful woman and her friends, usually around 6 of them, on several occasions! Lovely ladies from the Island of Jamaica. Yea. I always made sure the car was extra clean and properly equipped for my ladies. I tell you, I would've driven them for free!

On this one trip, it was New Years Eve and everyone looked more incredible than the other. So, they started with dinner, a few clubs and then the Party. After I dropped them off, I went into midtown to watch the celebration...got a great view this time to see the ball drop at midnight! If you've ever watched this on T.V., being there is no comparison! The crowds, the noise, the lights, just a typical New York scene.

As the morning progressed, I picked up a dozen white roses - yes, I do have a particular place and Serge gives me a discount! So, I pick up the girls after the party and it's clubbing again. After they all had their fill, it was time for home, but not till we hit Starbucks and Al's Bagels.

So, as I dropped off each one, I surprised them with a rose. They loved it so much and gave me an extra hug. One of the women was taller than the others, around 6'2".When I gave her a rose, my feet left the ground when she gave me my New Year's Eve hug! I found out later that she was a body builder. I commented that the construction job looks good so far! Yes, a good time was had by all.

One more? You convinced me!

It was a job driving 8 women to the local wineries on the east end of Long Island, New York.

I helped them load several cold cut & cheese platters into the limo, along with assorted fruit, crackers and already half emptied bottles of - whatever - these ladies, basically in their late 50's were not wasting any time!

Of course & obviously loving it, I got dragged into everything! Personally carrying the tid bits to the tables from the limo to the 5 wineries that were on their list. Though I didn't go along with the wine sampling, I enjoyed the assorted foods and snacks.

And, that was that. Well not really. Being surrounded by a bunch of middle aged women, some more than half drunk? I was lucky to get out of there alive! It was horrible! I loved every minute...

This was my last and memorable photo of New York City, just before I moved...