Online Romance & Date Rape

Well for a while I have pondered the online dating phenomenon and wondered how anyone could romantically attach themselves to someone met via the internet. Due to networking purposes I was invited into MySpace by a close friend and quickly made a lot of contacts. To my surprise I can honestly say that I have been blessed with many new friends online, but there have been the few that had to be blocked because they insisted on getting to know me on a personal level although my profile specifically states, “I am here to make friends and networking only.” I am also happily married, and in no way interested in leading anyone on.

From the start of communicating I bring up my family, and emphasize that I am in no way interested in getting involved with anyone who befriends me on MySpace. Most understand, and respect the fact, yet others get offended and want to latch out at you, because and I quote. “If you’re here it must mean you’re missing something.” No fool I am here for Networking purposes only, my business venture is displayed all over my page, and I am only here to spread the word about it.

Now the person wants to get personal and call me names, which is uncalled for, but I of course retaliate by calling him a Tony Montana wanna be; for his profile picture has him wearing a white suit with a black collar and shades. Now I know it’s not right to make fun of someone’s appearance, and I am basically a pleasant person but this one truly pissed me off. As soon as I sent him my response I immediately blocked him because I knew it was going to get ugly thereafter. To this day I think back to this incident and am simply glad my other friends are there because they as well as I want to showcase our talents or business. Be it musicians, artists, writers, entrepreneurs or individuals who live far and wide that just enjoy chatting every once in a while with someone that can never physically judge them, and do it in a reasonable fashion, and so therefore deserve the right to be deemed an online friend.

The other dangers meeting someone from the internet can lead to is a topic they like to keep on the down low, but happens more often than not, “date rape.” Date rape happens a lot these days, but in some cases they are not reported because the victim is scared and basically ashamed that he or she let themselves get into the predicament in the first place. Unfortunately, in our society even nice men with good intentions can force someone to have sex, and this is simply because men and women while in process of developing socially learn communication patterns that can force the hand of date rape if not cautious.

Some men have a hard time believing a woman when she verbally expresses herself. They want to take the lead, for they think they are doing the woman a favor by pushing her. To them if she says no, it may really mean yes, but she is simply afraid of being deemed promiscuous. The concept of her saying no evades them as they are sure she is just looking out for her reputation, and so then he pushes some more. Some men are also taught to not take women seriously,that women do not really mean what they say. Both males and females feel certain behavior allows a man to force sex, such as the woman portraying she is easy or misleading. In some cases, they think that if a woman is nice to them that she is attracted to them and so therefore wants to have sex. It is even inconceivable to some men that women can be friends with the opposite sex without sex being a factor.

Women must understand that their being assertive can lead men to misinterpret their behavior and somehow justifies their reason for rape. There are many ways a man can see rape for what it is, but sometimes it is seen much too late and someone is left to pick up the pieces. Forced or coercive sex is rape no matter if the victim is a friend, lover or date. It is never, ever acceptable to force yourself on someone and the lifetime torment it leaves will always be a part of the victim. Trust is lost and a wall is built that can be very damaging to anyone else who tries to get close.

No matter what rape is rape and women must learn the basics needed to avoid being a victim.

Copyright

Susan B. Anna