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Personal and Private Issues

Updated on May 18, 2019
lctodd1947 profile image

Some people ask questions, however, I simply let people tell me what they want me to know. That way I am minding my own business!!!

Personal Things....

We all know exactly what this word means, but I think we forget sometimes that personal means just that…private…individual…my business…not yours.

We sometimes forget what questions we should not ask that is personal information that someone just might not want to share with anyone. This sometimes this varies by the individual.

Why do we as humans do this? It could be that we are just trying to be friendly; we could be thinking we are being concerned and trying to make another person feel cared about or we could simply be just plain old nosey.

There Are Rules For Everything...


My Rules Which Have Served Me Well

My rule is simply that I do not ask questions about any personal thing - period. I believe if someone wants me to know something, they will tell me. If they tell me something which opens the door to another question…. they have opened the door, not me.

Is my policy the right policy? I think so and in so doing I am not considered as someone who desires to know everybody’s business. I do not enjoy answering questions that I feel are too personal so I respect others in the same fashion.

You see, I have enough to worry about taking care of my own life. It is not that I am not concerned about others or want to listen, but they must open the door as a general rule. If I am very close to someone; there may be an occasion that I “might” ask something personal but usually not even in the family.

Things that are Very Personal

Some personal things….

  • Marriage
  • Relationships
  • Intimacy Issues
  • Finances
  • Employment Issues *Income
  • Health
  • Family issues
  • Credit
  • Who your soul mate is...

If You Listen Instead Of Asking You "May" Learn More


Touchy Subjects

Some things are touchy with individuals such as a person’s financial position and it can really be sensitive. Having worked in credit a lot of my life, some individuals do not want to give you certain financial information.

In mortgage lending, your entire financial obligations and assets are apart of the approval process and it is mandatory that one gives this information. If there are assets over and above what is needed to qualify a person….well and good. If not, more must be verified and the source of those funds must be documented also.

All credit information is mandatory. The reason for this is, if the lender does not know your entire credit obligations, compared to your income, the loan may not qualify. In this instance, it is not known if you can meet another obligation and especially a new house payment.

I learned that I needed to be very sensitive to the applicant's feelings of insecurity by telling their private information.

Personal Health Issues

Personal health issues are another private matter for many. Just recently, someone, I know just found out they have a slight case of diabetes. They did not want the whole world or I should say their whole world to know.

Of course, I do not see the need to put something like this in the local paper either. I totally understand that everyone has certain things they want to stay private.

Did their weight have anything to do with it? Maybe...but...I do not want anyone asking me how much I weigh either. It is still personal and I will tell you if I want you to know.

There are many things we should have knowledge of, that make another person feel uncomfortable talking about. Sensitive issues should be left unasked...

Some people do not tell anything personal, and then there are those who tell it all and we wish they did not. However, we will let those minuet few do what they like.

Do Not Ask!

What are some Personal questions we should never ask?

  • How much did you pay for that?
  • Where did you buy that?
  • How much money do you make?
  • How are you going to afford that?
  • How much was your raise?
  • Did you get a bonus?
  • How much was your bonus?
  • Do you like your Mother in Law?
  • Why do you stay with him/her?
  • Why do you need that?
  • What is your political stance?
  • Where did you go; you were not at home?
  • How much did you pay for your house?
  • How much money do you have saved?
  • Are your parents wealthy?
  • Do you like him/her?

Some Things Are Too Private To Even Say-Much Less Ask

Some of these are really private...

  • What size is your bra?
  • Do you sleep with clothes on?
  • Do you intimate with anyone?
  • What color underwear do you wear?
  • Do you even wear underwear?

Shall we smile... hopefully...

Some of these are a little exaggerated but some people will ask anything and expect an answer.

We each probably have our pet peeves regarding this subject. The list could easily go on and on, but we also know that some questions depend upon the relationship.

There are still some questions that are just not polite to ask, so I don’t ask…

The questions above, I consider private and would not want anyone asking me any of these. You might say differently…but that is your call.

I would probably just say: It's none of your business.

There are also some questions that you do not have to ask because you get the answers without asking, but to me, that is the way it should be.

Being respectful and not too inquisitive about other peoples’ personal information is nothing but being socially correct.

Personal - Private Questions Are Not Made Of Pretty Flowers



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    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      No Tom it doesn't but I try not to ask questions that is none of my business, don't you? Thank you so much for coming by to read and comment.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 

      11 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      I think much of this undue curiousity has to do with the cult of celebrity we have developed in our times. It doesn't serve anybody well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      You couldn't have said it better. It is true, people are not afraid to say or ask anything, anymore and think they have the right....

      Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it.

    • Springboard profile image


      11 years ago from Wisconsin

      It's not so surprising to me that as a people we've become a bit confused about these very things. We have tabloids, cameras and paparazzi all throughout the streets of Hollywood and whereever else getting all the latest gossip, and we have reality shows galore. We've BECOME the proverbial fly on the wall. And suddenly nothing is personal or taboo anymore.

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Thank you have a point ($500 question)..I am going to use this with my brother in law...That just might stop the questions...he means no harm but can't seem to help himself.

      I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Thank you so much.


    • BkCreative profile image


      11 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      Thanks for this hub lctodd1947 - it serves as a reminder that there is such a thing as appropriate behavior which means we should, as adults, be able to distinguish between what is needed information and what is just being obnoxious or uncouth.

      One of the nice things about growing into an old lady is that I find it so easy to tell the nosey ones that the answer to a personal question will cost them $500. - and then they stop. Or just tell them to go away - if they are crude. I won't play that silly game.

      Great hub!

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Habee, thank you for your comment and stopping by to visit. Yes, some people are not tactful and are nosey about other people's business. I try not to ask questions that are not my business...that is just me.

      Thank you so much for reading. Linda

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Sage, I agree that if someone wants to confide in me, I will listen and if they want my opinion, I will give it. But, I feel it necessary to make sure we know who we are talking to when we give our personal information. People do not always mean to repeat things...but they do...the human side will tell things sometimes..they just do.

      Thank you so much for stopping by to read and comment. I really appreciate it.

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Teresa, I have been quilty in my life as well of being too open but I have learned the hard way that somethings should be kept to myself. Of course it also depends upon your relationship with someone. I am really focusing on those that we are acquaintances with not those we are extremely close to but I have also learned that sometimes those close to us may judge us wrongly if we tell too much.

      I appreciate your comments and you taking the time to come and read. Thanks so much

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 

      11 years ago from Georgia

      Some people have no class! I'm just not curious about other people's business. Pertinent hub!

    • Sage Williams profile image

      Sage Williams 

      11 years ago

      Very well said and written, I'm with you and believe that if someone wants me to know some of their personal business and share it with me that is fine. I on the other hand do not need to know. I am big on personal boundaries.

      Great Job!


    • Teresa Laurente profile image

      Maria Teresa Rodriguez - Laurente 

      11 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

      Oh, yes. So true and yet, I fall into that trap as I am among the group who discuss these issues so openly. I am alarmed if the questions are directed to me which could sometimes becomes confusing where do I go with that. But, at least your post here helps me so much to know where I should stand on those issues if directed towards me. More power to you friend, Ictodd1947.

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Thank you Mr. Watkins.. for coming by to comment and read. I appreciate your kind words...and taking time out to stop by.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      11 years ago from Chicago

      Yes, I agree with you that some tact, couth, and civility are in order when it comes to nosing around in other people's business. Your Hub is excellent. Thank you.

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Linda, Thanks so much for the vote of confidence. I guess I do not know how to not be honest...that is just me. My brother in law is sometimes too interested, (I will use that word)and for who knows why...he lives beside us...need I say more? A wonderful person...but too interested at times.

      I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment.

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Eileen, I agree, it is nothing more embarrassing then for someone to ask me something like if I got my jeans at Macy's when I probably picked them up at the most economical place that I could find instead.

      Thank you for coming by to read and comment. I appreciate it as always.

    • Eileen Hughes profile image

      Eileen Hughes 

      11 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      Lctodd, you know what upsets me the most is people continually telling you how much something cost them. Oh I paid $2000 for that....and then if they see you have bought something new they want to know how much it was. To me I now say Oh I cant remember and change the subject.

      I have noticed people with money are the worst for this.

      Cheers great interesting hub thanks

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Thank you so much DJBraman for stoping by to read and comment. I agree and sometimes I think that some people just do not think before they say something. I appreciate you coming by.

    • djbraman profile image


      11 years ago

      It's a good rule of thumb to let the person open up a matter if they want to talk about it. Then I think we can open up and talk about personal things with others. People can tell when you are just being nosy are really care about what's going on with them, but to get into asking them what they make, what they paid for this or that always has negative motives behind it. Good article!

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Hey Bail Up, it is so hard to be constructive when people are nosey....but I make a practice of not asking questions that I should not doesn't mean I am perfect by any means but I try to leave other people's stuff alone...I appreciate you coming by to comment and read. Thanks so much

    • lctodd1947 profile imageAUTHOR

      Linda Todd 

      11 years ago from Charleston

      Pamela99 you are so right...and I give you thanks for coming by to read my hub and comment. I really appreciate it. Thanks so much.

    • Bail Up ! profile image

      Bail Up ! 

      11 years ago

      I agree, some are way too curious with others matters. It ticks me off when people ask how much I paid for whatever. I brush them off by answering "Why? are you going to help me pay for it?"

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      11 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Some people are nosy and don't seem to mind asking personal questions. We always have a choice as to how to answer or not answer a question. Good hub.


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