Personal and Private Issues
We all know exactly what this word means, but I think we forget sometimes that personal means just that…private…individual…my business…not yours.
We sometimes forget what questions we should not ask that is personal information that someone just might not want to share with anyone. This sometimes this varies by the individual.
Why do we as humans do this? It could be that we are just trying to be friendly; we could be thinking we are being concerned and trying to make another person feel cared about or we could simply be just plain old nosey.
There Are Rules For Everything...
My Rules Which Have Served Me Well
My rule is simply that I do not ask questions about any personal thing - period. I believe if someone wants me to know something, they will tell me. If they tell me something which opens the door to another question…. they have opened the door, not me.
Is my policy the right policy? I think so and in so doing I am not considered as someone who desires to know everybody’s business. I do not enjoy answering questions that I feel are too personal so I respect others in the same fashion.
You see, I have enough to worry about taking care of my own life. It is not that I am not concerned about others or want to listen, but they must open the door as a general rule. If I am very close to someone; there may be an occasion that I “might” ask something personal but usually not even in the family.
Things that are Very Personal
Some personal things….
- Intimacy Issues
- Employment Issues *Income
- Family issues
- Who your soul mate is...
If You Listen Instead Of Asking You "May" Learn More
Some things are touchy with individuals such as a person’s financial position and it can really be sensitive. Having worked in credit a lot of my life, some individuals do not want to give you certain financial information.
In mortgage lending, your entire financial obligations and assets are apart of the approval process and it is mandatory that one gives this information. If there are assets over and above what is needed to qualify a person….well and good. If not, more must be verified and the source of those funds must be documented also.
All credit information is mandatory. The reason for this is, if the lender does not know your entire credit obligations, compared to your income, the loan may not qualify. In this instance, it is not known if you can meet another obligation and especially a new house payment.
I learned that I needed to be very sensitive to the applicant's feelings of insecurity by telling their private information.
Personal Health Issues
Personal health issues are another private matter for many. Just recently, someone, I know just found out they have a slight case of diabetes. They did not want the whole world or I should say their whole world to know.
Of course, I do not see the need to put something like this in the local paper either. I totally understand that everyone has certain things they want to stay private.
Did their weight have anything to do with it? Maybe...but...I do not want anyone asking me how much I weigh either. It is still personal and I will tell you if I want you to know.
There are many things we should have knowledge of, that make another person feel uncomfortable talking about. Sensitive issues should be left unasked...
Some people do not tell anything personal, and then there are those who tell it all and we wish they did not. However, we will let those minuet few do what they like.
Do Not Ask!
What are some Personal questions we should never ask?
- How much did you pay for that?
- Where did you buy that?
- How much money do you make?
- How are you going to afford that?
- How much was your raise?
- Did you get a bonus?
- How much was your bonus?
- Do you like your Mother in Law?
- Why do you stay with him/her?
- Why do you need that?
- What is your political stance?
- Where did you go; you were not at home?
- How much did you pay for your house?
- How much money do you have saved?
- Are your parents wealthy?
- Do you like him/her?
Some Things Are Too Private To Even Say-Much Less Ask
Some of these are really private...
- What size is your bra?
- Do you sleep with clothes on?
- Do you intimate with anyone?
- What color underwear do you wear?
- Do you even wear underwear?
Shall we smile... hopefully...
Some of these are a little exaggerated but some people will ask anything and expect an answer.
We each probably have our pet peeves regarding this subject. The list could easily go on and on, but we also know that some questions depend upon the relationship.
There are still some questions that are just not polite to ask, so I don’t ask…
The questions above, I consider private and would not want anyone asking me any of these. You might say differently…but that is your call.
I would probably just say: It's none of your business.
There are also some questions that you do not have to ask because you get the answers without asking, but to me, that is the way it should be.
Being respectful and not too inquisitive about other peoples’ personal information is nothing but being socially correct.