Personal and Private Issues
We all know exactly what this word means but I think we forget sometimes that Personal means just that…private…individual…my business…not yours. We sometimes forget what questions we should not ask that are Personal information that someone just might not want to share with anyone and sometimes this varies by the individual. Why do we as humans do this? It could be that we are just trying to be friendly; we could be thinking we are being concerned and trying to make another personal feel cared about or we could simply be just plain old nosey.
My rule is simply that I do not ask questions about any personal thing; period. I believe if someone wants me to know something, they will tell me. If they tell me something which opens the door to another question…. they have opened the door, not me. Is my policy the right policy? I think so and in so doing I am not considered as someone who desires to know everybody’s business. I do not enjoy answering questions that I feel are too personal so I respect other in the same fashion.
You see, I have enough to worry about taking care of my own life. It is not that I am not concerned about others or want to listen but they must open the door as a general rule. If I am very close to someone; there may be an occasion that I “might” ask something personal but usually not even family.
Things that are Very Personal
Some personal things….
- Intimacy Issues
- Employment Issues *Income
- Family issues
- Who your soul mate is...
Don't ask- Don't tell
Some things are touchy with individuals such as a person’s financial position; it can really be sensitive. Having worked in credit a lot of my life; some individuals do not want to give you certain financial information. In mortgage lending, your entire financial obligations and assets are apart of the approval process and it is inevitable that one gives this information. If there are assets over and above what is needed to qualify a person….well and good. All credit information is mandatory. The reason for this is, if the lender does not know your entire credit obligations, compared to your income; it is not known if you can meet another obligation and especially a new house payment.
Personal health issues are another private matter for so many. Just recently someone I know just found out they have a slight case of diabetes. They did not want the whole world or I should say their whole world to know. Of course I do not see the need to put something like this in the local paper either and I totally understand that everyone has certain things they are private about but my question was; why is this being said unless they felt responsible for having gained too much weight; not eating properly and realizing that this disease might have been prevented with proper awareness.
Sorry, but I do not want anyone asking me how much I weigh...yes it is because I probably am not at my perfect weight. It is still personal and I will tell you if I want you to know.
There are many things we should have knowledge of, that make another personal feel uncomfortable talking about. Sensitive issues should be left unasked....Some people do not tell anything personal, and then there are those who tell it all and we wish they did not but at any rate...let those minute few do what they like.
Do Not Ask!
What are some Personal questions we should never ask?
- How much did you pay for that?
- Where did you buy that?
- How much money do you make?
- How are you going to afford that?
- How much was your raise?
- Did you get a bonus?
- How much was your bonus?
- Do you like your Mother in Law?
- Why do you stay with him/her?
- Why do you need that?
- What is your political stance?
- Where did you go; you were not at home?
- How much did you pay for your house?
- How much money do you have saved?
- Are your parents wealthy?
- Do you like him/her
Some of these are really private....
- What is your grocery bill?
- How much do you weigh?
- What size shoe do you wear?
- What color underwear do you wear?
Some of these are a little exaggerated but some people will ask anything and expect any answer. We each probably have out pet peeves regarding this subject. The list could easily go on and on but we also know that some questions depend upon the relationship. There are still some questions that it is just not polite to ask, so I don’t ask…Most of the questions above, I consider private and would not want just anyone asking me any of these. You might say differently…but that is your call.
There are also some questions that you do not have to ask because you get the answers without asking, but to me that is the way it should be. Being respectful and not too inquisitive about other peoples’ personal information is nothing but being socially correct.