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Raising children in a world where rules don't seem to matter
At least it give us alot to talk about...
I have spent the greater part of this week answering questions from my children about why people behave the way they do. My 9 year old can't understand why people think it is alright to steal from others. My older children were amazed that so many people spent the entire week talking about the "end of the world" simply because one person told so many others that he had heard word from God. As I have to remind them, people tend to think what they are doing is okay or sometimes the right thing. We cannot control the actions of others, we just have to watch how we behave and be sure our behavior is appropriate. It is the only course of defense we have.
We had an issue this week, that is ongoing involving theft. It truly upset our family. We felt terribly violated, our security taken from us. The children were left wondering why, when we have to work so hard for all we have, someone would be callous enough to think they could just simply take it away from us, like it was their right to do so. I had to explain repeatedly that some people think it is alright to take from others because they themselves have problems and feel that if they just take from someone else, their problems will disappear. Of course I have to make sure they know that the problems will only worsen for them in the end, but that does not restore the sense of security that is taken from them and from us.
My sons were annoyed that they spent so much time hearing about the "end of the world" issue. I reminded them that if a person is right in themselves and right with their God, they have no worry about such things. That this is all for media attention and maybe someone somewhere open up a religious book due to this and is feeling better today, this we have to hope for, not the negative side of things.
It is hard to be positive in today's world. Our family has truly been shaken to the core over the past five years. We have been hurt terribly by those we loved and trusted. We have yet to fully recover. So all of these small infractions seem to hurt even more. My son was very disappointed about not being selected for something he wanted recently, but the disappointment was greater because some chosen in his place where far less qualified than he, and one had not even followed the rules, rules my son feels are extremely important, yet his peers and the adults in charge do not think it matters. This sort of behavior makes it very hard to teach your children right from wrong. But we will and I reminded him that in the very same period he suffered this disappointment, he also was honored for his achievements in something else, something he had earned on pure work, not from a popularity contest where people can break rules. I reminded him that hard work and an honest heart will pay off in the end, even though it seems like it won't. He has other chances for this and more honors. Work harder and it will pay off. We will keep trudging ahead in our quest to raise decent human beings despite all the other adults who think its okay to bend the rules. Someday it will pay off.