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Regrettable Regrets

Updated on November 29, 2012

"Regret is defined as "to feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about, or to remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn. It has the broadest range, from mere disappointment to a painful sense of dissatisfaction or self-reproach, as over something lost or done"

They say "If only" are the two saddest words in the world. Every now and then my mind wanders and muses over my life's "What ifs", the "Should haves", "Why didn't i?" and 'What if i did". But, it's like entering a dark hole, an exercise in futility, where you end up with more questions than answers. Who does not have one single regret is either 'lucky', too dumb, or too smart. Sure, i have regrets. If i knew a way to turn back time, i would do many things differently. I wish i had been a better piano student and not have disappointed my teacher, who happened to be my mom. I wish i had waited much longer, before i decided to get married. Things would have been so different for sure. Don't get me wrong, i am happily married to the most wonderful man who keep me on my toes, and know how to rock my world. I'm talking about that first marriage that didn't work out, which i have to admit, was my first biggest regret because it created the domino effect that turned my young life upside down. Did i quit too soon? Should i have been more patient and accepted the philanderings? What i don't regret is having the child i had despite the so called 'mistake', but, was it? Should i look at it as my destiny? That, out of the ashes, came the most beautiful creature, daughter, bff and ally one mother can ever ask for? That there is healing for those who seek it, and that in time, we find mending because there is forgiveness.

Let them know now...
Let them know now...

Less regret

We cannot avoid having regrets...but there are ways we can live having less of it.

1. Do not waste a moment, or even wait for an occasion to express love, or do something good for your loved ones. Why give flowers when those who we consider precious to us are already gone? Buy that new iPad, or new computer when the old one is ready to be buried.

2.Think a hundred times before judging or hurting anybody. The wound you inflict may heal, but the marks remain.

3.Treat everyone equally, with dignity and respect. One day you're up, one day you're down, Remember, the person you belittle could be the 'big guy' you may need one day.

4.Pursue your dream, or passion. Never quit. Keep trying. Success comes to those who just keep punching, not to those who give up easily.

5. Always give thanks. With and for no reason, being grateful can spell the difference every waking day. Some have received what they didn't have just by being thankful. Thank everyone for every little kindness they have done for you.

6.Pick up the pieces after a fall. Learn your lessons and move on. Don't get bitter, get better, if not, a lot better.

7.Regrets can be nuggets that can make you smarter and wiser. Or they can be weights you drag all throughout your life, limiting and debilitating your growth. It's a choice.

At this juncture in my life, i have realized regrets are no longer such. Surprisingly age has brought in many unexpected perk. Senility helps us forget, as if they never happened. And, with less energy, i've learned to be more picky with my battles, i no longer sweat the small, and unchangeable stuff. I do like Mr Thoreaus take, to strive for my personal deepening, to actually learn from past missteps, and eventually find needed liberation and refreshing. That i believe i am doing. But, i have a feeling, forgetfulness will be my better friend. Which could be regrettable to those who insist on replaying my history. I say, sorry. Please accept my regrets.


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    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      8 years ago from Hawaii

      Hello Mickey! I have missed you. Thanks for the read.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Great hub with great advice!

    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Thank you FSF!

    • FirstStepsFitness profile image


      9 years ago

      Great Hub ! A lot of timely advice too

    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Thank you Sage. We learn life's lessons first hand, which i did, and am still learning. Much appreciation!

    • Sage Williams profile image

      Sage Williams 

      9 years ago

      Island Voice - you did an awesome job on this hub, I usually end up saying, should have, could have, would have, Didn't. Like you say pick up the pieces accept it, learn from your mistakes and move on.

      Great Advice,


    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Thanks T from T! I appreciate your visit and comment.

    • Truth From Truth profile image

      Truth From Truth 

      9 years ago from Michigan

      I really liked number two. It is something we don't normally think about enough, and often think a simple I'm sorry will fix it. Thank you.

    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Yes Quill, if we believe there are no accidents in life, then there are lessons to learn from everything, including 'regrets'. Thanks for your visit and comment.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub and an encouragement to us all...regrets can also be a great time of learning as we move through life. If we have regrets for anything maybe God is telling us something about ourselves.


    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      BK! Thanks for sharing your special friendship and the laugh and ties borne it seems from your friends unusual load of regrets. That is really funny! How true, we must be forward looking, no matter our age and what we've been through.

      Awww G! You are too precious. I love your depht and perception. I love that we crossed path and that i know you. Much thanks for taking time to visit despite your busy schedule. Between us, there are no regrets.

      Shil1978, i agree regrets can be such a waste. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.

      Hello Hello, we may regret, but we shouldn't get stuck. Thanks for the comment and visit.

      Of course you will Micky! You seem to be moving along well. Just keep going and you'll be ok! Thanks for the ok.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      9 years ago

      Great words, great hub. I'm still picking up pieces. I'm not sure if it will ever get cleaned up. Thanks

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      9 years ago from London, UK

      Regrets is certain a wast of time but being human nature you can't help it. Thank you for a great hub and advice.

    • Shil1978 profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub. Regrets are just a waste of time and energy, energy that can be best used in the present, here and now, to help you get through your present troubles (if any). Nice hub! Thumbs up!!

    • GPAGE profile image


      9 years ago from California

      IV! Fantastic hub.....I myself have used the words "what if," but eventually I just said "This is NOW" and I'm really happy about where I am at. I have no regrets anymore even when my first marriage crumbled and I left.....I was young and did not realize my needs and something deep down told me to go. People leave people for a reason, this I am sure.

      You are here because of your life choices and I am here because of mine. We both ended up here writing about our feelings and how we look at the world. Even though we have had very different paths......this is why I don't "regret" a thing......atleast not anymore.......

      I love how you put your heart on the page and if you are able to love this much in all of your words, then I know you are loved and your mind is still intact!!!! ; ha ......Best, G

    • BkCreative profile image


      9 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      I love your lovely hub! You walk us through it so nicely.

      I have a young colleague who is so accomplished - few have achieved what she has - yet she sat across from me one day talking about all her regrets - at the ripe age of 36! I listened, then she looked at me the wise elder for my take on her life filled with regrets - and I busted out laughing! I told her 'you got to be kidding!' And she started laughing and then came our tears of laughter, you know when you laugh so hard and your heart overflows - and we've been friends ever since.

      Now when we see each other, after all the hugs and kisses - we have to laugh for about 15 minutes.

      I've learned much from the ancient cultures I have visited and lived in where they feel another great part of life begins at 60, 65, some even say 80 - so instead of looking back, they are looking forward!

      Thank you Island Voice!

    • IslandVoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      9 years ago from Hawaii

      Dohn, you always make me wish i know you in person, because you always make me smile. Ever a sweetheart, i love that you are quick to find my hub, and have words to encourage. Someday, i pray we meet and i will not have anymore regret!

      Coffeesnob, glad you found some advise. Thanks for visiting.

      JetterV7, what is like without lessons right? Thanks for sharing and for your ok on my ending words. Best!

    • JetterV7 profile image


      9 years ago from Angola, IN

      Nice Hub IslandVoice. I remember all the while growing up, everytime I would get in trouble or do something wrong, my Dad would ask me if I learned anything and then make me tell him what I had learned. Life is an education and you are correct. Learn from our mistakes (we all make em') and move on. I like the closing, "Please accept my Regrets". Perfect!

      God Bless.

    • profile image


      9 years ago


      Good advice here.

      Thanks for a great hub..

    • dohn121 profile image


      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      I swear, you have so much wisdom, IV. I think that everyone could certainly learn something from this well-crafted and well informed hub. I do believe that anyone who makes the claim that they have "no regrets" are full of it! Thanks for sharing this!



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