"Regret is defined as "to feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about, or to remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn. It has the broadest range, from mere disappointment to a painful sense of dissatisfaction or self-reproach, as over something lost or done"
They say "If only" are the two saddest words in the world. Every now and then my mind wanders and muses over my life's "What ifs", the "Should haves", "Why didn't i?" and 'What if i did". But, it's like entering a dark hole, an exercise in futility, where you end up with more questions than answers. Who does not have one single regret is either 'lucky', too dumb, or too smart. Sure, i have regrets. If i knew a way to turn back time, i would do many things differently. I wish i had been a better piano student and not have disappointed my teacher, who happened to be my mom. I wish i had waited much longer, before i decided to get married. Things would have been so different for sure. Don't get me wrong, i am happily married to the most wonderful man who keep me on my toes, and know how to rock my world. I'm talking about that first marriage that didn't work out, which i have to admit, was my first biggest regret because it created the domino effect that turned my young life upside down. Did i quit too soon? Should i have been more patient and accepted the philanderings? What i don't regret is having the child i had despite the so called 'mistake', but, was it? Should i look at it as my destiny? That, out of the ashes, came the most beautiful creature, daughter, bff and ally one mother can ever ask for? That there is healing for those who seek it, and that in time, we find mending because there is forgiveness.
We cannot avoid having regrets...but there are ways we can live having less of it.
1. Do not waste a moment, or even wait for an occasion to express love, or do something good for your loved ones. Why give flowers when those who we consider precious to us are already gone? Buy that new iPad, or new computer when the old one is ready to be buried.
2.Think a hundred times before judging or hurting anybody. The wound you inflict may heal, but the marks remain.
3.Treat everyone equally, with dignity and respect. One day you're up, one day you're down, Remember, the person you belittle could be the 'big guy' you may need one day.
4.Pursue your dream, or passion. Never quit. Keep trying. Success comes to those who just keep punching, not to those who give up easily.
5. Always give thanks. With and for no reason, being grateful can spell the difference every waking day. Some have received what they didn't have just by being thankful. Thank everyone for every little kindness they have done for you.
6.Pick up the pieces after a fall. Learn your lessons and move on. Don't get bitter, get better, if not, a lot better.
7.Regrets can be nuggets that can make you smarter and wiser. Or they can be weights you drag all throughout your life, limiting and debilitating your growth. It's a choice.
At this juncture in my life, i have realized regrets are no longer such. Surprisingly age has brought in many unexpected perk. Senility helps us forget, as if they never happened. And, with less energy, i've learned to be more picky with my battles, i no longer sweat the small, and unchangeable stuff. I do like Mr Thoreaus take, to strive for my personal deepening, to actually learn from past missteps, and eventually find needed liberation and refreshing. That i believe i am doing. But, i have a feeling, forgetfulness will be my better friend. Which could be regrettable to those who insist on replaying my history. I say, sorry. Please accept my regrets.