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Learn to be Self-confident and become Successful

Updated on April 27, 2016

If You Have No Confidence in Self, You Are Twice Defeated In The Race Of Life

Take Lesson from Experiences

Various incidents of my past usually remind me of my abilities and inabilities both. Those incidents are very vividly embarked in my memory. I find that when thoughts get blurred then the lessons learned from those incidents get blurred too. I believe that for a perfect future the past experiences should not be vaguely present in our mind rather remain clearly and distinctly etched. If similar situations are encountered again in life then past distinct thoughts would prove to be helpful in facing them strongly or else the same mistakes may get repeated easily.

My own experiences were a great lesson for me to understand, what is self confidence? But I never gave a deep thought over it. The incidents which reflected my weakness were never considered by me as the hard truth of life until the second beginning of my professional life. My first professional achievement was short lived, no, no, no…; don’t assume that after a short stint of success I failed drastically. Actually, I chose to quit my professional life due to some personal reasons.

In the recent past, after a huge gap, when I found it feasible to give another chance to my career I was in a dilemma what to do and how to do. Mustering inner confidence was the real hard task I faced. I wasted a lot of time on sitting and pondering over ‘what and how’. Ultimately, reminiscences of my own past experiences showed me the way to success. I never felt that those loose threaded incidents which symbolized a lot about my merits and demerits would one day turn out to be my ladder of achievement.

Self-evaluation helps to be Confident

I was only busy in wondering about a second shot but always stepped backwards when I had to accumulate my courage and jump into the world of professionals. I never fail to garner inner confidence when a meeting with a stranger has nothing to do with my career. There I know that I have nothing to loose but it differs in the case when it relates to a job. I get a bit nervous with a thought that if all doesn't go well then I may become a looser. This thought makes me an escapist. Another disqualification of mine is I remain very confident when I need to talk to somebody over the telephone but the moment it requires a face to face meeting then it shakes my confidence and courage once again.

Sharing my personal experience as an example: It was then when I had completed my academic education and decided to take up a job. The wish to become a professional was strong but my willingness to face the challenges for the same never had the required confidence level. In the meantime my brother informed me about a vacancy for a teacher’s post in an institute. The authorities had arranged for a walk-in-interview but I thought to skip it because of my lack of believe in myself. Very casually I made some excuses to my brother and skipped the interview on the first mentioned date. Next day my brother simply rejected my excuses and forced me to go for the interview. Another brother of mine escorted me to the venue and thus I was left with no chance to escape. I, at last, faced the interview but not before doubting my own capabilities. At the end I got selected for the job.

This amazed me completely and instilled an amount of confidence within me. I felt a little courageous but still there existed some doubt in my mind about my teaching abilities. Would I be accepted by the students? This question bothered me a lot. Stepping into a teacher’s shoe was quite an experience especially the first day. I knew students had nothing to loose but if I get rejected by the students then it would be a great loss for me. I was not afraid of loosing a job but my self belief. At the beginning I felt a bit shaky but gradually with regular experience I learnt all the skills to become a respectable teacher. I realized that I was not lacking the qualities of being a teacher but actually it was my inability to understand my capabilities.

Nothing Holds You Back More Than Your Own Insecurities.


lack of Confidence caused Fear and Hesitation

I am basically a very simple person with a trait of not to open up quite easily with others. By saying this I don’t mean that I am an introvert but yes, not an extrovert either. I always take more time than an extrovert and less than an introvert to talk to a person freely. This attitude of mine stops me from taking the first step towards any particular task or meeting someone. Once I am able to overcome the initial hitches then in return I learn to face the real world. My lack of confidence had made me do many unusual things such as I skipped one interview immediately after I saw that a huge number of candidates had turned up and I felt scared as if those candidates were to take my interview.

Another instance of my being scared was when somebody asked me to meet the headmistress of a very reputed convent school in connection to a vacancy. I was even afraid of entering the school premises leave alone the thought of meeting the headmistress. After a huge round of persuasion I went to meet the Sister, the headmistress, but even the presence of the unknown students in the campus made me conscious. At last I met her and after we spoke to each other for around 10 minutes everything seemed a cakewalk. I did not get the job as she had already appointed one for the job. The meeting gave me an inner satisfaction that I could talk to a person of her stature in a very confident manner. This satisfaction doubled when after a few days I received a call from another school. They offered me a teacher’s job without an interview only because my name was recommended by the Sister headmistress. I rejoiced that moment because it instilled a lot of confidence in me.

Submitting write-ups for publication always filled my heart with suspicion. Would I be able to see my name in print as an author? Would my write-ups see the light of publication? These doubts kept troubling me. One fine day a rejection from the publisher used to put an end to all my doubts but not before pushing me miles away from writing another piece. Even enhanced disbelieve in myself. Whenever, I submitted my writing it usually died in the hands of the publishers but in the midst of all those hard experiences two poems of mine got published in a national magazine. It was a happy experience but still my confidence level did not mount up just because the number of rejection was higher.

A year ago while I was in a fix regarding what to do and how to channelize my career, my heart reminded me about the published poems. This recollection once again prompted me to write and test my luck. Well, I was afraid of facing another round of rejection before I found out HubPages while surfing the Internet. Its option of self publishing seemed to give me a fresh lease of writing life. I simply grabbed the opportunity and started writing. Yes, the satisfaction from on-line self publishing and print publishing is totally different but via on-line publication too I came to know myself as a writer through the strangers. It helped me to continue writing and with first pay out of $50 along with more than 50,000 visits I have gained a lot of confidence. There are many more aspects as a writer have to be explored and a lot many things are to be achieved. It would be possible or not I have no answer to it but one thing I can vouch and say that I have become more positive. Lack of confidence does not bother me any more while I write on a subject of my choice.

Avail Opportunities and become Confident

Through these experiences I have learnt that life gives us chance at every step but we fail to realize what and how the things should be channelized. Confidence is the word of utmost importance to carry on one’s life with dignity. It will never be granted as a charity by others or by yelling for it. Fear of having lack of confidence takes a person a few more steps backwards so the only solution is to overcome the fear with your own willingness to do it. Analysing past success as well as lessons from past mistakes gives an ample opportunity to gain confidence. Those who are in search of self confidence they must look within one’s own self and way to overcome it comes out quite easily.

Confidence gives Success and Happiness


To prove my words let me present some quotations on confidence:

“If you've ever done anything successfully, you can do it again. Imagine and feel certain now about the emotions you deserve to have instead of waiting for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future.” –Anthony ‘Tony’ Robbins

(The speaker is an American self help author and motivational speaker.)

“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” –Stan Smith

(The speaker’s full name is Stanley Roger ‘Stan’ Smith. He is a former World No.1 American Tennis Player during 1960 to 1970.)

“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” –Richard Kline

(The speaker is an American actor and television director.)

“If you haven’t written your goal down, then you don’t have a goal.” –Kurek Ashley

(Anthony Robbins said about Kurek Ashley: “Kurek you are the truly the embodiment of the word outstanding.” Kurek Ashley acted in many Hollywood movies later he shifted to Australia and became the most on demand success coach.)

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” – Anna Freud

(The speaker was an Austrian psychoanalyst. She was the daughter of the great psychologist Sigmund Freud.)

“Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there is something you don’t know.” – Eoin Colfer

(The speaker lives in Ireland. He is a writer of ‘Artemis Fowl’ novels.)

All the above mentioned quotations signify that confidence is of utmost requirement for success. It is not an external ability of a person but an internal one. The men who suffer from lack of confidence and wants to get rid of it then one needs to make some attempts fearlessly irrespective of the outcome. A day is bound to come when a positive set of mind will emerge. That’s it - confidence is instilled!

“Believe you can and you're halfway there.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Learn the skills to be Confident


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    • prasadjain profile image


      5 years ago from Tumkur

      A beautiful essay on developing self confidence. these are practical suggestions.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello vocalcoach,

      Thanks for your powerful comment, appreciation, vote and sharing.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello EuroNinila,

      Thanks a lot for praising my work..

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello Sir,

      Your positive comment is always very motivating. Thanks for the vote and shaing.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      6 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      I enjoyed the quotes and the way you gave background of each speaker. Really good hub and voted up and sharing!

    • EuroNinila profile image

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 

      6 years ago from NYC BABY

      Confidence is key, it is how you attract anything you want in life!! Wonderfully written :)

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      6 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

      It's good to know you have got over your diffidence. Past positive experiences do help a lot in boosting self confidence. I liked the quotes at the end.

      This hub is voted up and useful and shared too.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello DDE,

      It is always a pleasure to learn about a confident person. So, I am thankful to you for sharing your own strong trait. May everyone enjoy the pleasure of self-confidence as you do! Thanks for reading and appreciating this article.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I am confident and an outspoken person, and don't lack conversations if I have something to say I do so right away. I enjoy expressing my feelings when ever possible. An interesting insight to the individual's self-confidence.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello Sunshine625,

      It is great to have confidence on most of the days and you are lucky. Thanks a lot for liking the hub.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello shiningirisheyes,

      I thank you for reading this article and obviously for appreciating it. What your father told you is really a lesson for all because learning matters the most. Thanks again!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Having confidence is so very important. I have it on most days and for that I'm thankful. Excellent hub with lots of great advice.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Excellent and insightful article on your many experiences and triumphs. From your teaching interviews to your road to publishing your words, I take great hope that my confidence levels will builds with every endeavor. I could so relate to the many inner turmoils you experienced and also took a valuable lesson - my Dad always told me, it isn't about winning or losing, failing or accomplishing, it's about what you learned from the experience.

      I thank you for this uplifting write.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello teaches12345,

      Your openhearted praise always gives me confidence to work on my subject for the next write up. I always need confidence from every one of you. I am thankful that I am showered with it by all my co-hubbers. Thanks a lot for liking the post!

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello Vellur,

      It is a pleasure to receive an applauding comment from you about my article. Thanks a lot for praise and sharing!

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello ishwaryaa22,

      Your comment is not only full of encouragement but I must also thank you for promoting the article so strongly. I am extremely happy that you liked this article and thanks a lot for it.

      Happy New Year to you too and your family!

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello Mhatter99,

      Thanks a lot for reading this article. Confidence is everything to be successful.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello billybuc,

      You are lucky to be a confident person. Confidence is always a strength and it is required enormously. May you remain like this always!

      I do need blessings and thanks for it.

    • shampa sadhya profile imageAUTHOR

      Shampa Sadhya 

      6 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Hello thumbi7,

      Thanks a lot for appreciating this post. I will be happy and grateful if this article proves helpful to others who lack self- confidence.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      This is a great hub for the New Year. Confidence is a trait that gives one the ability to succeed in tasks and in social relationships. Voted up.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      6 years ago from Dubai

      A great hub inspiring people to take chances, overcome their shyness and build confidence. Voted up and shared.

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 

      6 years ago from Chennai, India

      An uplifting hub filled with wise examples regarding your past experiences, sensible views and wonderful quotes! Without confidence, it is impossible to achieve one's success in one's goal or mission. Way to go!

      Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you & your family!

      Thanks for SHARING. Useful, Awesome & Interesting. Voted up & shared

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      6 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this information. At the masonic classes we help build confidence successes.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I honestly don't think I have had much problem with lack of confidence....I was raised to believe in my abilities, and that has carried me through tough times.

      Blessings my friend!


    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 

      6 years ago from India

      Hi Shampa,

      It is a very engaging hub. I liked your story of how you could overcome your inhibitions. I am sure this article will be helpful to many who are shy, scared or have other inhibitions.


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