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Free yourself from Self Sabotage, Inner Fears and other hurdles to personal growth.

Updated on May 12, 2015

build a new you

My love for self improvement and personal growth has been with me almost as far back as I can remember. Standing naked (not nude) in front of yourself, looking at all characteristics you have both good and obstructive characteristics. Standing naked means looking DEEP within, at all you are, without judgement. Standing naked before yourself you see yourself completely... You see ALL you are. Whole and complete.

I have been working with Branka Babic and Rubic Cube Mode as a new science for growth unfolds. The success I have had using some techniques for self growth that she shared has been far superior to any I used to date. The main thing about this method is, it is all about truly loving yourself as you are, Plus working with your characteristics as if they are real and have a life of their own. In fact, because the way they influence our actions so much, they really do “live” in us.

Using Branka's system, you make friends and allies out of your faults and either make agreements with them, or send them off to retirement, both done “with love”. Learning to LOVE all you are, is the fastest way to growth. I'll share now two personal examples for better illustration as to how I spoke to these characters in me and then, with immense love and appreciation for them, either sent it them away to retirement, or made agreements with them.

Standing naked - I found this power.... it has been an amazing friend. This power has been instrumental in my personal development, pushing me to become stronger and all the while this power was getting stronger itself. This power has been with me for as long as I can remember.

This power has caused me to learn so SO SO much..... it led me to read tons on personal growth..... it has led me to meet and shake hands with three influential and famous motivational speakers.... and to study their material. The more I learned - the more powerful this power became...

Really - this POWER I HAVE ...............IS HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE!

(The three speakers I met are Tony Robbins, Denis Waitley and Brian Tracy..... and Tracy I met and shook hands two times and even had a 15 minute conversation with him one on one)

I am writing you about it, as I want to share with someone just how much appreciation I have for this HUGE power. Without it I know, I would not have spent as much time developing me. It helped me learn so much about personal growth, sales and closing sales, PLUS to expand my knowledge into marketing as well.

This power brought me so much knowledge, that I became a good personal coach to others and have helped others a lot.... all of this because of of this amazing power, which has been my loyal friend. It pushed me to forever be working to become stronger, and smarter.... it is a HUGE POWER.... AMAZING HUGE!

The crazy thing is, this power I am talking about, even got stronger and more powerful the more I learned.... how could I not appreciate for all it has done for me?

This HUGE power I have is "the power to sabotage my every success" ... I simply have to love it... it has made me so much more, than I would have been without it.

Now I am going to tenderly, lovingly and with a HUGE amount of respect and appreciation..... I'm sending it off to retirement .... it deserves the rest... it was my loyal and faithful friend. Sending it off to retirement to Rubik Cube to be defragmented with appreciation and love. It has earned retirement.

Notice the emphasis on appreciation, love and respect. How can you love yourself, if you do not first love ALL OF YOUR PARTS?

The next friend I found standing naked before myself was the fear and or the distaste for harvest. This friend in me, I at first thought, was the power to self sabotage, but as I looked at it deeper it was a totally different character. When I looked at my life, I found I have amazing pioneer spirit! I love the adrenalin rush for change and beginning something new, but when it gets close to harvest, I would loose interest and become totally bored.

Looking deep at myself naked, I saw that this friend was also with me a long time. At every harvest time on any project I would lose interest and it 9the project) would die and thus I would not harvest. While talking to this friend in me, it reminded me that my dad had died when I was 11, just before harvest time. (we lived on a farm) Naturally, this friend in me wanted me to avoid that sense of loss. Also, the work at harvest time on the farm, I found boring, demanding and dirty. Therefore this friend in me had helped me avoid harvests of all kinds.

This friend I developed the same love, appreciation and respect for as the self saboteur above. This friend helped me develop an amazing ability to see the potential in projects or ventures. The roll of pioneer became strong and my visionary skills grew.

I chatted with this friend for some time. Learning more ways to love and appreciate it. When I finally saw the huge value it has been in my life, I sat down with it and lovingly made an agreement with it. I appreciate my pioneer spirit and did not want to retire it so I struck up an agreement. I helped it realize that the more bountiful the harvest, the extra rewards from harvests would enable us (me) more opportunities and exciting projects to work on. Without harvests, there would naturally be less money and freedom to add new projects. So this agreement was set up where I would be in control, but would always value, love and respect that part of me.

"WHEN YOU HAVE AN OBSTACLE, GENTLY TALK TO THAT PART OF YOU WHICH DOES NOT PERMIT THE FULFILLMENT OF YOUR DESIRE. FIND OUT WHY, AND THEN DIS-EMPOWER IT. NEXT, EMPOWER THAT PART OF YOU WHICH IS SKILLED OR ABLE TO SUCCEED." ..... Branka Babic

IT IS SIMPLE AND EASY.

"On the journey to awaken the true God Self 'we all are', tidbits of experiences become HUGE keys. Seek to see yourself naked (without judgement) and learn to love those pesky characteristics you wish to change and lovingly send them to retirement to be defragmented in the universe.
Do that (send to retire with love) to all you are in process to change - "Do it with love for self and gratitude" ... for what each trait you retire has been a tool to help you grow in some way." ....... Neil Sperling

BE "THE ONE" WHO RULES OVER YOURSELF..... WITH LOVE.

You see, this way of dealing with personal growth is all SELF LOVE AND SELF RESPECT. Notice again, the emphasis on appreciation, love and respect. How can you love yourself if you do not first love ALL OF YOUR PARTS?

Learn to LOVE ALL YOU ARE..... you truly are beautiful!



Carlos Castaneda's Wisdom fits this Hub.

How To Reset Your Mind And Mood

Human Again!

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    • BrankaBabic profile image

      BrankaBabic 5 years ago

      Neil - your passion could be felt and I admire your way of sharing so sensitive matter. Human self improvement begins with the moment of conception. EACH MAN (and I repeat EACH MAN) PASSES ALL GOD'S PHASE; but mainly humans pass them inwards, and only a few in so called reality. WHY ONLY A FEW?

      Breaking the frames of dressage is not easy(Dr.Spoke - one of the best known baby dressers lately, went so far with scheduler - to feed up baby each 2 hours or something like that ...).Our civilization is abundant with nonsenses. But - it is easy to criticize it, and hard to cause any bigger change, because dressage lies on instincts. Sometimes - biggest difference between us and our pet is our ability to speak in words. We are civilization instinct-based. Our sexuality is compulsive, our emotive relationships are compulsive, our need to survive is as compulsive as with a wild beast.

      My teaching has foundations in human sexuality, which is hormones free - based on inexhaustible sexual energy flow.

      Those who are not feared to be "naked" (sincere) would surely admit how 4/5 of our life steps are tied to our pants :). Not in Freudian manner - much differently - and also not in theory - but in practice - I am supporting (teaching) a forerunners of new, free man.

      You are one of most diligent and successful students.

      Lucky, lucky you!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Branka -- Thanks so much for not only your comment - but your dedication to all you are and all you do. You are an example in every respect. I appreciate you endlessly!

      THANKS FOR BEING YOU!

    • profile image

      Wealthmadehealthy 5 years ago

      Interesting.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      wealth - glad you think so :-) thanks for taking time to read... appreciated

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Neil,

      I'm going to have to enjoy a few more cups of coffee to emerge from brain fog. Then, I can see I will have to go to Branka's site to try to get my brain around these new concepts. It is a lot of foreign concepts for me. I appreciate the specific examples you included. It is an intimidating idea to chat with myself about the different parts that I perceive as negative. How do you differentiate the positive from the negative objectively? I have found some things I thought were a detriment to be an asset sometimes. I feel like my time alone, like starting over, to be very fulfilling. I was finally beginning to see myself more clearly and value me. The idea of now dissecting and jumping into the frying pan, so to speak, is overwhelming. I also have a difficult time interpreting literal from figurative. I am not opposed to change, but I find my reticence at initiating the process my fear of the harvest. This weekend I am going to take the time to read Branka's hubs to try to clarify this ideology in my mind first. I appreciate her example of the difference between humans and their pets for reference. This will definitely be a challenge for those unfamiliar with down and dirty self-improvement. I have been to a few work sponsored lectures and usually left exhausted, overwhelmed and resistant as a result. I freely admit to being a blockhead German and usually comfort myself with the "I'm O.K., You're O.K." ideology. Yes, Neil, I usually give up before the harvest and settle back into my own comfort zone. But, you've got me thinking and I'll start by trying to wrap my arms around a new way of openness. Dynamic, inspirational read!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Amy - I'm delighted to see you have a quest to grow. At times working with Branka I feel like I have progressed greatly, yet I'm still at the very beginning. LOL ... You said "It is an intimidating idea to chat with myself about the different parts that I perceive as negative. How do you differentiate the positive from the negative objectively?" To answer that you have to realize that ALL parts of you are positive, when you look at them with love. Talking to them you will surely see that they have been there to teach you or help you in some way.... LOVE YOURSELF as WHOLE. Each part is still YOU!

      You can gain lots on her site (Rubik Cube Ready Mode) .... hope to see you there!

      Thank You for such a thoughtful comment!

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      One place I always get stuck, Neil, is in remembering my mom's take on how I operate in life. I don't judge others. Everyone has their own way of being and I feel, is entitled. I usually gain something from everyone I am lucky enough to cross paths with. Growing up, I was critized at home, for not having a stance, flowing with the tide, so to speak. In some ways I do, as I am open to new ideas, not changing who I am at core, but, rather, a means of expanding. But, even though I am open to new ideas, I don't necessarily take them on. There are times when they work for me and times they don't. I have had opinions on some things that I change. I don't think that makes me a person without convictions. I have been accused of having boundary issues, bascially not enough walls. But, now, as a free adult, I exercise my right to construct or take down my own boundaries. These are some of the ideas I hope to explore at Branka's place. Thank you for reawakening some areas of the past I haven't fully explored, Neil. Sleepwalking can become habitual.

    • BrankaBabic profile image

      BrankaBabic 5 years ago

      Hi Amy - glad to meet you here, and liked your post very much.

      English is not my native and I have never seriously studying it, what complicates my attempt to share something so simple, as is RUBIK CUBE READY MODE.

      Jesus and Buddha tried to teach people about it - but things went out in favor of idolatry.

      Rubik Cube is not ideology nor system. It is somehow new anatomy, in which :

      God as IDEA (WHOLE SPECTER OF LIGHT) is cause

      God as HUMAN SELF is an image (idea, conveyed into matter)

      God as FLOW OF LIFE = EGO (snake, intelligence)

      God as "EXACT (personalized) CONCEPT" = TIME

      Within conditions of KALEIDOSCOPE those 4 GOD'S EMANATED FUNCTIONS are dispersed based on so called "magnetic logic" (resonance);

      Within conditions of THE RUBIK CUBE all 4 functions SHARE A FULL EQUALITY and COME TOGETHER BASED ON LOGICS OF AGREEMENT.

      So, the base of my teaching is FULL EQUALITY OF ALL "LIFE" INGREDIENTS : God as IDEA, GOD as HUMAN SELF (matter), God as EGO (intelligence) AND God as TIME. No animosities, no hostility, no judgments or self-judgments.

      SIMPLE.

      Very simple indeed.

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      It is a new way of thinking for me, I think! I am definitely going to read your hubs throughout the weekend and try to understand the basics. I know that you believe it is simple, but it is new to me. I would think everyone learns differently. Although, I'm not dense, as I admitted to Neil, I am initially resistant and my brain fights with me. However, once I get it and accept it, I've got it. My point is that I am open and interested, but I hope I don't aggravate you with some questions during the process, Branka. Thank you for this compelling new endeavor. I am looking forward to it. And, thank you, Neil for sharing this information. Your enthusiasm for overcoming obstacles to change is something everyone might benefit from.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Great Amy - the compelling new adventure awaits. Just remember - it is often our addiction to complicate, and to think about an outer help, rather than experience our own greatness and ALL WE NEED - WE HAVE... if we learn to accept it.

    • profile image

      Marcella Glenn 5 years ago from PA

      Very informative hub.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      marcella - glad you liked it and hope you take something of value and put it to work for yourself.

    • Rod Marsden profile image

      Rod Marsden 5 years ago from Wollongong, NSW, Australia

      I will vote up.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Rod - hey thanks for the thumbs up mate :-)

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Neil, there is a correlation between what you conclude above - with people's under-achievement, and barriers to success. I have found that opening up the channels of the mind to new possibilities and doing things that might even seem counter-logic, actually work.

      But doing it requires not only self-effacing honesty, it also requires a certain degree of "re-wiring of the brain" in terms of how we think.

      The motivational messages you train yourself with are a type of "self-talk" or inner dialog that helps to retrain yourself in some way. We all did it as kids learning our multiplication tables or ABC's or whatever. Or through music. Another part of it seems to be reconciling one's differences with successes versus failures. And re-integrating oneself back into positive thinking mode.

      You make some excellent points here. What a great hub! I'm happy that I read this! Cheers! Have a great weekend! :D

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Cheeky Girl - Cassy - you make my day when you drop by and comment because not only are you intelligent (which is obvious with your writing) you are are also very thoughtful, caring and open minded. I respect and appreciate you! Love what you said "self-effacing honesty, it also requires a certain degree of "re-wiring of the brain" in terms of how we think."

      Hugs my friend ... mwah

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 5 years ago from Isle of Man

      I like what you have written here and your message is a valid one which will resonate with those who are on the same frequency. I have read what Branka Babic has had to say too by following the link provided and see that her thinking is also in a sincere and genuine direction. As long as the basis is Love then all roads eventually lead to Rome. I do think it however that Branka's message could be helped by perhaps a friend like you editing her written expression so it is easier to read. As English is not her first language I am not sure that she is conveying everything she wants to say as efficiently as she would if English was her mother tongue.

      Have you thought about both of you teaming up and rewriting her blog as a series of articles. They won't come up as duplicate if you edit the original blog as I have suggested.

      Anyway, thank you for drawing my attention to the work you are doing and please keep me informed of your progress.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Spirit Whisper - Thanks so much for your comments. Much Appreciated. Your observation of Branka's blog is something we are working on now. Presently she posts and I do not edit her posts, rather - I make another post referencing (linking) hers in my words. We make a great team and our writing style is unfolding. Thanks so much for your comment as it helps us determining our direction.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 5 years ago from Isle of Man

      I didn't mean to come across as someone telling you what to do. It was just a suggestion and I hope you were not offended. I had a dream the night before and in it I was in former Yugoslavia. I was talking with Serbs and Croats in the dream and lo and behold when I start my computer in the morning I find you had followed me and in checking out your hubs I find out where Branka is from. There are no coincidences in this world are there? LOL Please keep me notified won't you I am very interested in what you both have to say as I see you as a genuine and sincere individual.

    • BrankaBabic profile image

      BrankaBabic 5 years ago

      Thank you Spirit Whisperer!

      Your comment on Neil's and my mutual work is appreciated and correct, not offensive at all. My English is a part of life irony :), but this irony is also out of the category called "coincidence". Being limited by expressive tools, sometimes prevents possible bigger harm :).

      I couldn't figure out in which way you relate to former Yugoslavia - but I am glad you do - and obviously your "touch" with it is positive. I am Serb by birth and Croat by mentality.

      I feel honored by getting to meet you and would be glad to stay in touch.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      spirit whisperer - I second Branka's comments 118%

      Thanks again for your comments and interest!

    • profile image

      Nick Grimshawe 5 years ago

      Hi Neil,

      What an amazing article. It has some aspects of the Shadow work but with a little more vigor to it. I love the idea of loving and retiring old friends. It's good to give them some kind words before sending them off. This is a very feel good way to deal with some of these friends.

      And as always you write beautifully.

      Nick

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Nick - WOW - THANK YOU my friend -- it is really nice to see you again here.... awesome!!!

      You are SO SO correct - "This is a very feel good way to deal with some of these friends." = LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!!!

      LOVE - LIGHT - LAUGHTER

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 5 years ago

      Very interesting, Neil. I especially like your friend who quits right before the harvest; and the way you so respectfully and lovingly say good bye to your loyal friends. Thanks:)

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      kim - awesome to see you drop in. I'm glad you appreciate the ideas herein!

    • Sandyspider profile image

      Sandy Mertens 5 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      Good advice. Not always hard to live by with low self-esteem. Better start using the Branka's system.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      sandy - Thanks for comment and so true "low self-esteem" is very much worth working on... and Branka's system is the best I have found when working on yourself.

      Thanks again

    • Beth100 profile image

      Beth100 5 years ago from Canada

      I completely understand. :) I have heard "embrace yourself, wholly" for, what feels like a lifetime, that I finally had to hear it and accept it. Pairing this with self sabotage and BINGO -- reasons why I never succeeded. There are patterns in life, and when we step back at look at ourselves honestly and truthfully, we can see the patterns. The trick has been to find the reason "why" we do what we do.

      You're inspiring Neil. I hope that your messages reaches out to many, many people because what you offer is life changing. Life changing to the nth degree and only in a positive way.

      Thank you for sharing this...it was the perfect "reminder" talk I needed this morning. :)

      Peace and light.

      Beth

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Beth - Wow - Thanks for the huge compliment. Love yourself- all aspects of yourself - and progress is yours!

      Thank You So Much.

    • KenWu profile image

      KenWu 5 years ago from Malaysia

      You see, this way of dealing with personal growth is all SELF LOVE AND SELF RESPECT.

      This is really an awesome self help piece. The sentence you wrote above summarize it all. Thanks for this and I love it very much. Rated "useful" and "awesome" because it really is. :)

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      KenWu - I am glad you love this hub. Your comment is very much appreciated. Thank You for taking time to read and comment!

    • heart4theword profile image

      heart4theword 5 years ago from hub

      I don't see how your friend can put JESUS and Buddha, in the same category? There are many gods and idol worshippers...yet there is only one True God. Since the beginning of time, the human race has been all about knowledge and gaining knowledge. JESUS was Man, was Flesh and is God, who was incarnated in the flesh.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      heart4theword - those who have eyes see.... thanks for reading and commenting.

    • haikutwinkle profile image

      haikutwinkle 5 years ago

      Colors of the soul

      rainbow after the rain

      visible to the naked eye

      seeing black and white

      seeing deeper beyond

      light and shadow

      bowing, dancing, embracing

      waving leaves to the wind

      interconnecting, entangling, hugging

      fallen brown leaf

      swept up by a breeze

      gently floating along

      flying kisses

      dreaming clouds

      diving higher, jumping deeper

      a frog leap

      ripple effects

      a smile, then a bow

      love and respect

      embrace them all

      kindness and honesty

      vitamins for growth

      flesh and blood

      all from within

      to freedom and wisdom

      we smile ;)

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      haikutwinkle - how interesting - first time I received a poem as a comment.... well done -- "all from within to freedom and wisdom we smile" ;) Thanks!

    • imatellmuva profile image

      imatellmuva 5 years ago from Somewhere in Baltimore

      Thanks again Neil for a fantastic hub. Admittedly, I am someone who is not peaking at harvest time. I've needed to define why I suddenly have a lack of interest and can't seem to complete projects that I thoroughly enjoy. This feeling is new for me...and one that I need to as you say, "...send to retirement, with love."

      I'm going to read the suggested hub related to this topic. Once again...thank you!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      imatellmuva - :-) thanks. I look forward to hubs from you telling about finished projects... sweet!!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      imatellmuva - :-) thanks. I look forward to hubs from you telling about finished projects... sweet!!

    • Tonya P profile image

      Tonya P 5 years ago

      Hi Neil! I loved learning about the rubik cube info! You are a very insightful person and seem to be far along on your journey! You probably already know of him, but if not, you might find Bruce Lipton to be very interesting. He is a scientist who talks about Biology and Perception. His info definitely takes you back to Zero! Stay in touch...

      www.TanyaPatton.com

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Tonya P - thank you so much for dropping in and the compliment. As you will find on my FB page - I had never heard of Lipton... THANK YOU for the introduction. I will stay in touch for sure... let's begin!

    • Sandyspider profile image

      Sandy Mertens 5 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      Nice hub about self improvement. All my life I have been working on this too. Though the will poswer is not always there.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Sandy Spider - LOL -- yip - will power is not always there, but it always comes back and hits you where you need it most. Progress is why we are here.... hope my hub makes a difference and you progress rapidly and far.

    • profile image

      bri36 5 years ago

      why me? i nobody and i already like myself. why me?

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      bri36 - Thanks for taking the time to read and comment - much appreciated.

    • profile image

      bri36 5 years ago

      still wondering why me? but i ok with it anyway.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      brio36 - I'm not sure how to answer your question - if you already like yourself.... then you are way ahead of most people. Just don't sell yourself short -- I did that most my life and am only now learning to BE me.. LOL

      i find this approach to "working on oneself" the most effective I have used.... self esteem takes work... at least id has for me and still is for me as I am not where I want to be yet .... thanks for the re-visit.

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      Neil, this is so inspirational and you make a great case for the the Branka Babic system. We could all use a resetting of that compass and help to point us in the right direction in our lives. We are human being and we often drift off course. And we can get the wheels a bit stuck in the mud. This is great article. Thanks for explaining it so well. :) I just tweeted this on Twitter.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Astra - so glad you found this hub helpful... you are correct we need our compass pointing in the right direction... yes we are human on progress to become much more.... Thanks for your comment, support and for your tweet... you're sweet!

    • Terishere profile image

      Terishere 5 years ago

      Great hub!! Too many are afraid to look at all their parts!

      Learning about ourselves is a never ending process, but well worth it!

      Terri

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Terishire - so true... fear holds us back from many things.

      Me thinks Constant and never ending learning - is why we are here.

      Terri Thanks for reading and sharing

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

      Very interesting stuff, Neil. I am glad this is working for you. Good luck as you make your way through the process.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      James A - Cool to see you drop by. Just remember James - Luck is an acronym - stands for

      L abor

      U nder

      C orrect

      K nowledge

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 5 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Now I just have to say that I loved this hub. I will certainly check out the Branka woman. Now I had to chuckle a few times reading this. I was imagining me telling my "FRIENDS" (characteristics) some of the things you were telling yours. My "FRIENDS" aren't quite as nice and are workaholics with no plans of retirement anytime soon. Did I mention that they are skilled in negotiation? Oh yeah. If I offered them an agreement, they will have 20 reasons on each point as to why the agreement isn't fair. And they love to argue. I would much rather fire some of my "FRIENDS" rather than give them retirement. However, Knowing how they love to work,(and get paid quite well)they would probably take me to court and sue me, bringing 10 of their "FRIENDS" as character witnesses! I will have to think on this one before I start to do battle with these guys.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      lisa d preston - Thanks so much for reading and taking time to think about it and comment. Love conquers all... especially with self.

      Thanks again!

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 5 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Of course love conquers all and it begins with self. I wasn't trying to make light of this theory. I think it is a good one. I am just so mental and I was being silly. Some things strike me funny in the middle of the night and I was picturing myself having a conversation with myself as I often do. Also I was reminded of something funny when I went through alcohol rehab years ago. They made us write a goodbye letter to alcohol. Well I was telling alcohol goodbye and I thanked it for being such a good friend to me and getting me through some really rough times and told it how it probably saved my life a few times and and that I would miss it. I'm such a softy that I actually started feeling sorry for my friend alcohol, missing the whole point. I told you I was mental.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
      Author

      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Lisa - LMAO -- thanks for sharing that story. How cool it that - write a good bye letter to alcohol is not that much different than what's in this hub..... Much appreciate you sharing this tid bit.... hugs

      BTW - you are not mental at all.... I think you are cool!

    • profile image

      Branka 5 years ago

      Hi Neil,

      Didn't have time to be back here for so long, and I am glad I popped in now. Lisa's story is story of very smart & talented person.

      I enjoyed this brief visit very much.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Branka Bella - thanks so much for the re-visit and the facebook share. You are a Special Friend. Love Ya!

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      Derdriu 5 years ago

      Neil Sperling: What an affirming, effective, enduring, realistic way to self-assess, self-instruct and self-improve!

      Thank you for sharing, voted up, and every category also,

      Derdriu

      P.S. What, no video?!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      derdriu - thanks again ...LOL as for video I have not found one that fits this hub!

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

      I have to say that I really don't understand this and it isn't a new concept, maybe a new name, it seems I have heard it many years, and I think I vote more for meekness since I don't see many who don't love themselves... I guess they are out there. I think a nice medium might be best personally but it is to each his own. Good food for thought.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      pollyannalanna - :-)

      So glad you took the time to read this - think about it and comment. Not sure what you mean by voting for meekness... As for your comment about seeing people who do not love themselves... that is not what the issue is here. We all have character traits we may wish to change... loving that characteristic as a being itself is the way to change - and change with positive self love rather than self condemnation.

      Glad you found this hub good food for thought... thanks for the comments. Love - Light - Laughter!

    • molometer profile image

      molometer 5 years ago

      Interesting hub and comments, I have always found logic to be a slippery trap.

      We are not rational beings, never have been and never will be.

      Interesting philosophically.

    • WD Curry 111 profile image

      WD Curry 111 5 years ago from Space Coast

      Have you been following me around? I loved the article and your clever presentation. I am a production specialist, who so fa has had his greatest success with good management and secretarial support. I am an old dog, but I would like to learn some new tricks. They can replace the ones I can't do anymore. Good to meet you. I love a good BBQ Ostrich.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      molometer - cool comment - Interesting Philosophically" -- Thanks for taking time to read and respond!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      WD Curry 111 - LOL - nope - I lead, never follow LOL! Old dogs can learn new tricks..... long as they can unlearn old habitual patterns.... LOL and EVERY old dog can UNLEARN Habitual patterns if they apply themselves. I'd love to have a BBQ Ostrich with ya some day!

    • Simply Soheila profile image

      Simply Soheila 5 years ago

      I enjoyed reading your hub, very interesting. You had left a couple of comments on my hubs a couple of months ago. I appreciate your kind words. Soheila

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Simply Soheila - So glad you dropped in and found this hub interesting - hope to see you again.

      Love - light - laughter

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 5 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      And there a very fulfilling hub , and as I can see, you got the parts together , it is quite nice when you have learned to unite the parts it's very important , because after all you are the sum of all your parts , I like the retirement of those that have done you either enough good or otherwise it does not have to be for any particular reason to others , it relative , so it's for the reason you or I say.

      I know of the speakers , that's the reason I say that you or me we are every man plus or minus what all other men do as seen through your eyes.

      Interesting Neil.

      Bless.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      sky9106 - so glad you dropped by..... thinker you are! Just make sure we do enough doing. LOL Thanks for takiung the time to comment.

      Love - Light - Laughter

      Neil

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 5 years ago

      Dear Neil ~ I'm going to try as you say to love myself as I know you are doing the same as you take more self improvement classes. Blessings, Debby

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Debby Bruck - Yes - it is an unending job (loving yourself and self improving) but it is the most rewarding job there is.

      Thanks for taking time to comment - much appreciated

    • thesingernurse profile image

      thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

      I do a lot of soliloquy which in turn helps me gain self-awareness of myself. You are right. Being "naked" is baring your true self - all your weaknesses, struggles, and imperfections - in front of you for the purposes of self-respect and recognition. When I do this, I feel more human. I get in touch with my inner self every time and it just feels good. Thank you for sharing your insights in this hub. It's a great reminder that I should do it more often, nowadays. :D

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      thesingernurse - Awesome comments - I'm glad you dropped in and shared your thoughts. Feel more human again... :-) Great!!!

      I added the video link to the song "Human Again" - thanks - your comment pointed out the song fits this hub.

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      stessily 5 years ago

      Neil Sperling, It is often difficult to contemplate loving traits which one wants to release, but viewing them through the lens of love smooths the transition to releasing and replacing. Without acceptance and love, the process sputters and stumbles because judgments and opinions are interfering.

      You've presented this well.

      I see in a comment above by my sister Deedee (Derdriu) that apparently a video was not included with the original publication of this hub. Marija's "Human Again" is an excellent choice, both for the song and for the singer.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      stessily - thanks so much for the comment... yes it is difficult to contemplate loving traits... we are locked into old fashion traditional views that hinder our acceptance and growth. It is time mankind advanced beyond tradition and dogma and grabbed onto building character and becoming all we are. I'm glad you dropped by and also glad you enjoyed the video clip. Marija is an awesome singer song writer.. I love her very much. thanks again

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 4 years ago from California

      Most interesting hub, I like the way you kept the pioneer spirit. Staying through the harvest is a chore for me, but I am determined to do so. Cheers!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      tirelesstraveler - Glad you found this hub interesting..... let's both of us harvest a bumper crop... thank you for taking time to comment. Mucho Appreciated!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Neil, this hub is so refreshingly honest. When we don't love ourselves, it is like telling God, we don't like what he has done, as we are made in His image. He first loved us, is how we are able to love ourselves and others. As He tells us in His Word, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," as in His likeness, and if we could only see ourselves as He see us, it would really be such a wonderful thing. In HIs Love, Faith Reaper

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Faith - Thanks for the warm comment. Much Appreciated. F.L.Y = first love yourself!

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      wow..have to check this out. Well I've gotten there already, but good to see branka perception of things. Thanks for sharing! :)

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      hattie Thank you for taking time to read and comment.

      Love Light Laughter

      Neil

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 4 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Great hub. GBY

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      stars439 - Thanks GBY... mucho appreciate your vote. Thanks

    • g-girl11 profile image

      g-girl11 4 years ago

      Really interesting hub. I hadn't heard of these techniques. Your writing voice actually reminded me of Tony Robbins! You seem to have great energy and passion for this topic and that comes through in the hub.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      g-girl11 - wow what a wonderful comment. I love Tony Robbins, have followed a lot of his work. I appreciate the compliment and thank you for taking the time to comment.

      Love - Light - Laughter

      Neil

    • profile image

      Samiplus 4 years ago

      Thanks for such an informative and helpful rendition. We all need to strip ourselves and evaluate our nakedness using Branka's & your life formula. My kindest regards....

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Sami -- So cool to have you drop by - thanks so much for your support over the years - I wish you well in all areas of your life. Thanks for being you.

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan Robert Lancaster 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Another popular page! Well, Neil, I always thought this 'solution' led to split personality (talking to yourself as if you were somebody else). I swear at myself and people think I'm screwy! Where did I go wrong?

      - I think I know, it's probably something to do with negative vibes and all that, but when you make a c**k-up you deserve both barrels. I feel I'm carrying on the good work of others putting me in my place when I got too cocky.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Alencaster149 - :-)))) You never went wrong - you just proved to be a funny guy. Thanks for dropping by and taking time to share a smile.

    • MDavisatTIERS profile image

      Marilyn L Davis 3 years ago from Georgia

      Hi. Great Hub.

      As a person in long-term recovery with almost 25 years, learning to be honest with myself about myself was a beginning. When I truly stood exposed, I saw qualities that would only net me negative consequences or be harmful to myself or others. I also saw qualities and spiritual concepts that I had used in my life as well.

      Life is that ongoing journey of choice - self-defeating and self-destructive thoughts, behaviors and actions, or choosing positive aspects, admirable qualities, or spiritual principles to live by. Now following

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 3 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      MDavisatTIERS- Thanks for the open comment. I hope something in this hub will help you blossom more of your beauty and you start Loving Life and Loving Living like never before. Thanks again

    • profile image

      Kimberly Gray 3 years ago

      Neil, thank you I must say boundaries for me makes or creates or kills fear, I learned much too late in life, but did learn it. Thank you for once again sharing yourself, we are all grateful! Loving life and loving self. Great Hub Mate!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 3 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Kimberly -

    • Iris Draak profile image

      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Neil, I enjoyed this article and working up to the HUGE, HUGE, HUGE power the way you did made it very profound.

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 2 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Iris - that was a HUGE HUGE HUGE compliment............ thanks for taking time to read and share your kind words.

      Love - Light - Laughter

    • k@ri profile image

      k@ri 2 years ago from Sunny Southern California

      Neil, You have given me much to think about. I agree love and acceptance of ourselves is paramount. You have given me another to explore myself. Thanks, Kari

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 2 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      K@ri - I'm happy you got something worth while out of this and I appreciate you taking time to comment. Thanks so much.

    • Joyette  Fabien profile image

      Joyette Fabien 17 months ago from Dominica

      A most inspiring hub! You have some very uplifting messages for those who lack self love.

      BE "THE ONE" WHO RULES OVER YOURSELF..... WITH LOVE.-- I like this!

    • Neil Sperling profile image
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      Neil Sperling 17 months ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      Joyette - Thanks a Billion.. :-)

      I appreciate the kind words of support. You're the best

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