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Seven Nightmare Dorm Roommates

Updated on February 6, 2013
The Partier
The Partier

Nightmare Roommates: Who They Are, Their Best Quality & How To Deal

Sharing such a small room with one person is not fun. Everyone loves their space and privacy. However sharing that can be hard, especially if you’re not exactly friends with your roommate which can be awkward.

Living uncomfortably can cause you to see each other as living nightmares because there’s nothing more annoying than someone who doesn’t respect your privacy or is messy or just a plain nightmare.

Here are the seven nightmare dorm roommates, their best qualities (if any, but it never hurts to try seeing a bright side – again, if any), and your best luck for dealing with that roommate.

May a good roommate be ever in your favor.

The Partier

The legal drinking age doesn’t stop this roommate from sneaking alcohol into the dorm or going out to parties. While this roommate is usually gone most the night, it’s when they return they become a problem. They stumble in, making noise, knocking items off their desk, and turning on lights. Some nights they might bring a crowd back with them for an after party. Other nights they might pray to the porcelain god, or worse wet their bed in their sleep and leave it as they go out to get drunk again.

Their best quality is they always know where the parties at & how to access alcohol if you ever feel up to joining them.

Your best luck is to party with them so they don’t wake you and so you can watch everyone’s alcohol consumption and make sure you get home safe. If that’s not your scene, a new dorm might be your next best option or suggesting they sleep over at a friend’s instead of constantly waking you.

The Prankster

Pranksters love nothing more than a good laugh. Unfortunately for you, the roommate, the pranks are usually at your expense. You’re there, you’re an easy target. Going to the bathroom? The prankster will turn off the lights. Showering? The prankster will dump tomato soup on you. Worse? You were just about to get out. Coming home late? The prankster will pop out from under the bed to scare the daylights out of you.

Their best quality is they’re only joking and will stop if you ask them.

Your best luck is to ask them to stop or to join in on the pranks. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Take a picture of their favorite teddy bear dangling head first over the toilet and you will have a prank war. Or work together to prank your suitemates and they’ll be so surprised to find their room TPed.

Note: by joining, you are not becoming a nightmare roommate, just a more exciting target because you’ll strike back.

The Sleeper

This roommate loves to sleep. It can be ten in the morning, ten at night or three in the afternoon, and this roommate will want peace and quiet, so don’t even think of making noise or having friends over. They’ll only get grumpy if awoken. Even worse is, the sleeper will set their alarm to wake them for class or dinner, but will keep hitting the snooze button for over an hour. You telling them to get up will only cause the roommate to roll over, pull the sheets over their head, and return to sleep.

Their best quality is that because they’re asleep you don’t have to bother trying to be friends or telling them to be quiet so you can study.

Your best luck for dealing with them is to hope they sleep on, sleep through their classes, and fail out. (Okay, it’s a little mean, but it’s your room too and you shouldn’t have to tip-toe around to avoid disturbing their constant beauty sleep.)

The Pig

Messy and lazy are understatements for this roommate. Their clothes act like rugs for the floor and the over-flowing trash can sits by the door for days without being taken down to be tossed. When it comes to cleaning the room, their idea is to brush the dirt under the rugs instead of using a broom and pan. They’ll have the place dirty again about an hour after cleaning, if you’re lucky enough to have it clean that long. Living with the pig, you’re likely wondering what other critters might be living with you too.

Their best quality is that since their clothes and movies are always scattered you can help yourself to wearing & watching and they’ll never know the difference. Just make sure that shirt is clean.

Your best luck is to hope you don’t have this roommate. Even cleaning your portion of the room will not do because their side will eventually come over to yours. Stacking all their dirty clothes and dishes won’t make them any more likely to clean either.

(On the contrast) The Over-Cleaner

Nothing is more disgusting that a dirty room with items out of place. Everything needs to be organized and the beds made with crisp folds. Think like a Martha Stewart magazine. Often they will be found nagging and complaining that the room is dirty, and handing out chores as though they were candy. Disinfector, rags, mops, sponges, and Windex are more populous than other personal hygiene products. And the roommate will not be afraid to vacuum you as you eat snacks on your bed and study biology.

Their best quality is that they’re clean. You’ll never have to worry if a dish is dirty or if the toilets been scrubbed because it mostly likely has on a bi-weekly basis.

Your best luck (while it already seems lucky to have someone so incredibly dedicated to cleanliness) is to be out of the room when they clean, otherwise you’ll be expected to help. Which you probably should, but when every day is ‘clean up, clean up, everybody do your share’ it gets tiresome quickly. (Can a room get dirty that quickly? And is one item in the trash really worth making a run to the dumpster for?)

The I-Hate-You

This roommate will openly state the fact that they do not like you and you should move out. They will often invite their friends over, who are all already instructed to not like you either. This roommate will make plans with the suitemates in front of you and not invite you, and they’ll even start making plans for how exciting it will be to live with Hilary instead of you next semester (assuming you take her you-better-listen-to-me advice and move out). This roommate will blame you for everything that goes wrong just because they can.

Their best quality is that you don’t have to see a bright-side for them. They’re a hateful loser.

Your best luck is to stick it out and annoy that roommate even more by being around. Start inviting yourself places with them, which will probably make them hate you more, but at least you’d be rightfully earning your hate. Plus what’s more fun than purposely annoying someone that hates you without cause?

(Again, on the contrast). The I-Love-You

Where are you going? What are you doing? Can I come? I love your outfit! These are all thing the I-love-you roommate will say because they love you! They’re fascinated by you and want to spend time with you (and come on, who wouldn’t? You’re you; you’re awesome). Unfortunately this roommate takes it a little far. They’ll pop up in the bathroom as soon as you’re done showering to see if you want to hang out or they’ll skip class to watch a movie with you. They’ll even try joining inside jokes so they can feel like they’re part of your core best friend group.

Their best quality is that they’re nice and will always be there for you. They’re loyal and protective of you, but unfortunately a little obsessive.

Your best luck is to throw them a bone every once in a while, but keep a fair distance without being too mean.

Think your roommate was worse than these? Share your story!


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