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Smarter goals and Emotional Intelligence

Updated on July 28, 2020
Olumisin Tolulope Tinuoye profile image

A degree holder, studying human psychology and their interactions with our relationships.

Foundation

Checking through my phone I stumbled upon the trending interchange between a celebrity couple in an interview, and I thought men! There is a whole lot, for everyone to learn from the actor in the relationship management department. In fact, I wonder at the depth of love any man can actually show a woman regardless of shortcomings which goes a long way to address the instructions from the Bible “Husband LOVE your wife and wife SUBMIT to your husband”. How can anyone hope to be successful in the most difficult institution without yielding the instruction of the Founder? Definitely IMPOSSIBLE!

Personal Sentiment

Not trying to gainsay at all but I believe the strength of a person lies in how stable the person is, emotionally. It is no news that the world is going through an upheaval and only the intervention of God can bring everything to normalcy in record time, so it’s only natural for people to want to transfer aggression to ease their inner turmoil. But when I see a person that can manage and control his emotions in such a time as this? I doff my hat in respect. This is why the man in question has earned a new feather to the esteem I accrued him. A body language expert was called to study the couple and the concluding language from the man states: “I can love you through anything” in spite of the fact that the woman is the guilty party in this union. If that is not emotional maturity, stability, and intelligence, then I don’t know what is!

Emotional Maturity and Intelligence

Emotional Maturity and Intelligence are required of anyone to achieve success be it in marriage, corporate world, and in the general venture. And it means the ability to maintain decorum and have a good presence of mind to make accurate decisions in the face of agitation. This reminds me of a story I read:

“Some Artists were called to demonstrate in drawings what peace meant to them, a lot of people drew serenity in the form of a quiet environment, bird singing everything going smooth and undisturbed. But one outstanding artist drew A raging, ferocious, and life-threatening storm with a tree in a corner and perched on the tree is a bird quietly and peacefully watching when the storm will cease.” To me, nothing depicts peace other than that drawing.

Attaining Emotional Intelligence

Attaining Emotional Intelligence

I have read a lot on relationship management and you cannot discuss relationships without emotions, the two go together because relationships are managed with emotional intelligence. Irrespective of the relationship for example customer relationship, subordinate and superior relationship, marriage relationship, and any type of relationship. So it is only paramount to discuss elements of Emotional Intelligence.

An American Psychologist, Daniel Coleman. Discuss five elements of emotional intelligence and will like to mention it briefly:

Self-awareness is the consciousness of one’s character and feelings. Understanding the way you feel per time especially in unpleasant situations. One of my mentors wrote in a book that, to maintain sanity one needs to have a “Think session” have a private time to analyze one's feelings rationally

Self-management is the ability to manage your feelings, meaning regulating one’s feelings. A good analogy came to mind. The thermometer is influenced by its environment while the thermostat influences its environment. Like the story of the peaceful bird in the storm, dare to be a thermostat!

Motivation is the reason we behave or act the way we do. I believe our core values should be motivation enough. We all should have core values, like me, Sincerity is one core value I can’t compromise, so much so that some people call me blunt, I enjoy saying things the way they are howbeit in a friendly tone. That’s enough motivation for me to work hard since I know for me; there is no short cut to success!

Empathy is sharing and understanding the pain of others. Some people are so good at understanding others’ pain that they start making excuses for them. The ability to put one’s self in others' shoes helps to make the right decisions. Especially in the corporate Organization, if you know that being a boss you would not like your staff coming to work late, then you would make a decision to go to work early. It is simple to practice emotional intelligence when you are empathic.

Social Awareness is the ability to understand acceptable social norms and ethical behavior. No need to say that if everyone can practice this, our community would be a better place.

I recommend everyone to have Smart relationship goals

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Timely

In conclusion

Not trying to be self-righteous because we all are work in progress, but the first step is in deciding to make the personal change needed to change our world. Imagine a world without depression, suicide, violence, divorce, intentional killings and so much more atrocities we experience in our world today. Don’t you agree that the world will be so much better if we all can manage our emotions and make good decisions? But it starts with every individual making the choice to be stable emotionally. Choose your words and chose your acts, some fights really do not worth it, they only cause unnecessary pandemonium.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Olumisin Tolulope Abisola

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    • Olumisin Tolulope Tinuoye profile imageAUTHOR

      Olumisin Tolulope Abisola 

      12 months ago from Lagos Nigeria

      Thank you, Anupam. If I may be bold to say so, you do look a little like Chopra Priyanka Jonas.

    • Anupam Mitu profile image

      Anupam Mitu 

      12 months ago from MUMBAI

      Well said dear! Need of the hour.

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