ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Smarter goals and Emotional Intelligence

Updated on July 28, 2020
Olumisin Tolulope Tinuoye profile image

A degree holder, studying human psychology and their interactions with our relationships.


Checking through my phone I stumbled upon the trending interchange between a celebrity couple in an interview, and I thought men! There is a whole lot, for everyone to learn from the actor in the relationship management department. In fact, I wonder at the depth of love any man can actually show a woman regardless of shortcomings which goes a long way to address the instructions from the Bible “Husband LOVE your wife and wife SUBMIT to your husband”. How can anyone hope to be successful in the most difficult institution without yielding the instruction of the Founder? Definitely IMPOSSIBLE!

Personal Sentiment

Not trying to gainsay at all but I believe the strength of a person lies in how stable the person is, emotionally. It is no news that the world is going through an upheaval and only the intervention of God can bring everything to normalcy in record time, so it’s only natural for people to want to transfer aggression to ease their inner turmoil. But when I see a person that can manage and control his emotions in such a time as this? I doff my hat in respect. This is why the man in question has earned a new feather to the esteem I accrued him. A body language expert was called to study the couple and the concluding language from the man states: “I can love you through anything” in spite of the fact that the woman is the guilty party in this union. If that is not emotional maturity, stability, and intelligence, then I don’t know what is!

Emotional Maturity and Intelligence

Emotional Maturity and Intelligence are required of anyone to achieve success be it in marriage, corporate world, and in the general venture. And it means the ability to maintain decorum and have a good presence of mind to make accurate decisions in the face of agitation. This reminds me of a story I read:

“Some Artists were called to demonstrate in drawings what peace meant to them, a lot of people drew serenity in the form of a quiet environment, bird singing everything going smooth and undisturbed. But one outstanding artist drew A raging, ferocious, and life-threatening storm with a tree in a corner and perched on the tree is a bird quietly and peacefully watching when the storm will cease.” To me, nothing depicts peace other than that drawing.

Attaining Emotional Intelligence

Attaining Emotional Intelligence

I have read a lot on relationship management and you cannot discuss relationships without emotions, the two go together because relationships are managed with emotional intelligence. Irrespective of the relationship for example customer relationship, subordinate and superior relationship, marriage relationship, and any type of relationship. So it is only paramount to discuss elements of Emotional Intelligence.

An American Psychologist, Daniel Coleman. Discuss five elements of emotional intelligence and will like to mention it briefly:

Self-awareness is the consciousness of one’s character and feelings. Understanding the way you feel per time especially in unpleasant situations. One of my mentors wrote in a book that, to maintain sanity one needs to have a “Think session” have a private time to analyze one's feelings rationally

Self-management is the ability to manage your feelings, meaning regulating one’s feelings. A good analogy came to mind. The thermometer is influenced by its environment while the thermostat influences its environment. Like the story of the peaceful bird in the storm, dare to be a thermostat!

Motivation is the reason we behave or act the way we do. I believe our core values should be motivation enough. We all should have core values, like me, Sincerity is one core value I can’t compromise, so much so that some people call me blunt, I enjoy saying things the way they are howbeit in a friendly tone. That’s enough motivation for me to work hard since I know for me; there is no short cut to success!

Empathy is sharing and understanding the pain of others. Some people are so good at understanding others’ pain that they start making excuses for them. The ability to put one’s self in others' shoes helps to make the right decisions. Especially in the corporate Organization, if you know that being a boss you would not like your staff coming to work late, then you would make a decision to go to work early. It is simple to practice emotional intelligence when you are empathic.

Social Awareness is the ability to understand acceptable social norms and ethical behavior. No need to say that if everyone can practice this, our community would be a better place.

I recommend everyone to have Smart relationship goals






In conclusion

Not trying to be self-righteous because we all are work in progress, but the first step is in deciding to make the personal change needed to change our world. Imagine a world without depression, suicide, violence, divorce, intentional killings and so much more atrocities we experience in our world today. Don’t you agree that the world will be so much better if we all can manage our emotions and make good decisions? But it starts with every individual making the choice to be stable emotionally. Choose your words and chose your acts, some fights really do not worth it, they only cause unnecessary pandemonium.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Olumisin Tolulope Abisola


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)