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So You Think You're A Manly Man? Part 2
There are male and female in this world. We have been created different for a reason. Men are the leaders of the family unit, and they are to lead the family as wise fathers and providers. Men are leaders in the sense that they work hard to provide for the family outside the home. They are the first line of defense for the family from the outside world. Women are generally more nurturing and capable of doing so many other important things that men are not proficient or capable of doing. Now, I am saying that women should not be leaders of the family in the sense that they are forced to work outside of the home in order to provide for the family. I understand every case is different, but if the mother is away from the children due to work or something else, it will have negative repercussions in the lives of the children as they age. I believe men have a specific role as the leaders of the family unit and they have the responsibility of caring for their wife and their children. Sadly, men have been neglecting this role, and because of this the wife is forced to lead the family, which can then create many problems. Some of the biggest problems are the lack of a moral and ethical education from the parents which basically outlines the principles of right and wrong. The other is that as the children learn by example from their own parents; they will do the same thing once they have their own families. Marriage is a two-person job, and it cannot be truly successful without both parties working together. There are people who have been able to raise children by themselves but there are problems that still arise in the children’s lives as they grow older. Women have the ability to nurture children far better than men, and when they are not giving their children the important quality time that they need, and teaching and raising them to be responsible, these children will grow up to do the same thing with their future families, and the cycle will sadly continue. When women are forced to be the leaders and breadwinners of their families, the children almost always rebel because they look for the love and nurturing that should have been provided by their mother in other places or in other people. Unfortunately, many of these children turn to gangs, to prostitution, or at the very least end up in an abusive relationship. The main reason why this happens is because the father neglects his leadership role within the family.
Even in nature, this example can be seen. I will give you an analogy of a very large immediately recognizable animal. Young orphaned elephants that have missed out on the nurturing and love from their parents, are seen to act far more aggressively than elephants with parents, and sometimes they may even go on a rampage causing large amounts of damage along the way. This is commonly seen in the country of India, but as I am sure you realize, this rebellious behavior is not only seen in elephants. In most animals, without the presence of a mother and a father, there is rebellion that occurs because the young animals were never taught how to act or behave within their own ecological niche. A strong relationship was never formed between the parents and the young elephants. It is similar within the human species as well. We have so many young children that are being raised without knowing how to behave as adults. This is due to the lack of a loving relationship, a bond if you will, that enables the children to have an example to live by. Young boys and girls especially do not know how to grow into moral men and women with character and morals. The young children will grow older and go on a rampage of sorts, basically destroying the family unit and ultimately leading to the inability for a just and moral society to thrive. If you do not believe this is true, then take a look around you. It can be seen in most families that are single parent families or even families where both parents are absent altogether. Children want a loving relationship. They crave attention just because they want to know that they are loved. Keep in mind that I am not belittling families with this structure , but I am saying that it is not a healthy structure for the parents or the children. Families with a parent missing, or both parents missing, usually result in a structure that makes it very difficult to maintain a healthy and beneficial home-life structure, but it is not impossible. If you are a single parent, then know that it is still possible to raise your children with character, morals, and ethics but it will still be a very difficult challenge that you must face. And if you were a child raised in a single parent family or a family where you did not have parents at all, then know that it is not your fault and you should never blame yourself. It is important to take responsibility for your own life and know that your life can be different because your life is what you make of it, not what someone else makes of it. Understand that there are things that happen in life that are unforeseeable and that you cannot control, but you can control how you respond to these challenges. It is all about the decisions that we make that can affect the overall outcome of our lives. Every single person goes through tough times, but if we make wise decisions and put in the effort that allows the family to grow stronger together, then even though the problems will not go away, it will be easier to go through them together. If each member of the family is not encouraged to grow in ethics, morals, and character, there will be a destruction of the family unit, much like what we have today.
The result of this destruction of the family unit leads to a culture that is in drastic need of repair. Our society creates such an uproar when baby animals are taken away from their parents’ nurturing capabilities, but we willingly turn over our own young children to be taken away from their parents and raised by the ideas of the government’s educational system? This seems backwards to me. The people that have the most impact on a child’s education are their own parents. Maybe if we as a society and as individuals put forth the necessary effort to take care of ourselves, our families, and those around us, we could make the world a better place one small step at a time. I am not saying that the public educational system is evil, but I am saying that the real teachers of every single child is first and foremost their own parents. Almost every single behavior that we have today as individuals was developed when we were younger by observing and listening to our own parents. Granted, there are some genetic predispositions toward certain behaviors that have occurred, but there is also the nurturing and development of these behaviors as we have grown from young children into young adults and finally into adults. Certain behaviors were encouraged and others were discouraged, but if the responsibility of teaching the children is left up to someone else that does not know how to properly teach each child, then how are they expected to learn character, morals, and ethics on their own? For example, how can the education of a child be left up to the public school system when they do not nurture children in each individual case properly? This becomes especially evident when the children are learning behaviors that are not definitively moral in nature. The true education of a child occurs in the home, not outside of it. So, if you are a parent, lead by example, and teach your children with every single chance that you get. They are only a child for a short amount of time, so reinforce ethical and moral behaviors that they can pass on to their own children while you still can. All of the principles found within this book can be taught to them. It will be beneficial to them and you as well. If you are not yet a parent, I encourage you to learn as much as you can about character, morals, and ethics because one day you will need to teach it to children, and more importantly you need to implement it into your own life so that you can live by example for other people to see. We learn by being taught, and we teach by what we have learned. What we learn is completely dependent upon our own choices, so try to make the right choices, but do not give up if you do not make the right choices.
I am writing this book because I believe that men need to be reminded what manhood is really all about. It is important to also be reminded what a real man is, and how a real man should act. Or at the very least, how a man should act in a moral and ethical way. The idea that a man is a super-hero with bulging muscles, able to kill hundreds of men at one time, or a spy that kills people for a living and makes countless women swoon is at best an almost unattainable fantasy. These are drastic examples, but they are reinforcing ideas within the minds of young men that they have to be these types of people in order to be a real man. This reinforcement is false. If young men and women were being educated properly by their fathers and their mothers, then maybe we would not need metal detectors in schools, or we would not need to worry about our daughters being raped while walking down our local streets. I do not mean to offend or be negatively graphic by any means, but I am trying to illustrate the fact that the future of our society is at risk. Men need examples to live by. They need to be provided with information that will allow them to be men with character and morals. They then can be restored as the leaders of their families once again. We need to take responsibility for our actions and for the education of our children, especially our young men. This is the parent’s responsibility and mainly the father’s responsibility. Whether you are a father or a young man, this book is for you. Most of these ideas were taught to me by my own parents’ instruction using the Bible, and the rest were learned from studying the great leaders from our past. At the end of each chapter you will find some questions and applications that can be utilized for your own life and for the lives of others. These questions are extremely beneficial because they allow you to begin to discover more about yourself that you did not know before. So do not skip over them as you read through each of the chapters. Without further ado, I urge you to learn as much as you can from the contents of this book, and let us integrate character, ethics, and morality back into society once again!