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Everything You Know Is Wrong. This Hub Will Straighten You Out.

Updated on November 27, 2016
Which end do YOU think with?
Which end do YOU think with? | Source

I’ve been doing some thinking, and came up with ten ideas that are prevalent in society regarding dating that contribute to domestic violence. Many of these ideas are not discussed. I think it’s so ingrained, most people don’t even think about it. Here they are:

High Hefner with Playboy Bunnies
High Hefner with Playboy Bunnies | Source

One. Women are taught to seek only men who are potential mates, i.e., men who are older, taller, rich. A woman who flirts with someone much younger than she is, or of a different race, or obviously has no money, is looked at strangely. What’s wrong with enjoying another’s company simply for who they are, rather than what they can potentially do for you?

Two. Women are taught they think they have less value without a man. This attitude is supposed to be uncool now, but notice how single, unattached women are still pitied?

Three. Men and women are taught to hate each other. How many women sneer at men’s favorite pastimes of fixing cars, riding skateboards, or shooting hoops? How many men turn up their noses at cooking and couples dancing? Why can’t we just learn to appreciate what the other loves? We’d get along a lot better then!

Do you REALLY want your mother, wife, sister or daughter portrayed like this???
Do you REALLY want your mother, wife, sister or daughter portrayed like this??? | Source

Four. People are taught the ghetto culture is “cool”. The Big Island has very little school violence, compared to certain parts of the Mainland, yet they idolize such events as gang bangs and school shootings. I’ve had kids get bug-eyed, begging me to tell them stories about Bad Boys in Oakland, where I’m from. I just put it to them straight; there’s nothing cool or glamorous about living with that sort of thing. It’s DEPRESSING. The only good thing about it is getting out.

Five. Prejudice against homosexuality. If a person finds him or herself to be gay, that person should be free to express it, rather than contorting him or herself to be straight and fooling someone else into marrying them (as in this recent case of the married minister caught with a homosexual prostitute). Also, if someone wants to put down an idea, they call it “gay”. This is major discrimination; if they instead called it “black”, the ACLU would be all over them! If someone doesn’t date on a regular basis, that person is suspected for being “gay”. Even if the person is gay, what’s wrong with that?

Six. Women are taught to control the behavior of others through hidden, devious means, rather than coming right out and asking for what they want. It’s not fair to expect people to read minds; you have an issue, STATE IT!!!

Yes, a teen dance really can be this fun!
Yes, a teen dance really can be this fun! | Source

Seven. People are not being taught courtship rites. Anyone attend any teen dances lately? Everyone just stands around, not knowing what to do. Some women have even told me in some nightclubs, the men will just come up and rub against a woman, and if she loses her cool, she could get into trouble! How about teaching people to dance, so this won’t happen! And teach them rules of etiquette, too. I wonder how much of this happens because people just don’t know any better!

Eight. There is tremendous pressure to rush into relationships. All too often, if a man gives a woman the time of day, she starts reading all sorts of things into it, like, “Is he really interested? Is he The One?” Why not just take it for what it is, and if the couple decides to get serious, have an open and honest discussion about it, and both agree?

Nine. Sex is being cheapened. Expecting sex on or by the third date doesn’t add to its quality in the least!

Ten. A lot of unrealistic beliefs are floating around, bringing about things like eating disorders and steroid use. Again, I think a lot of it is due to ignorance. Girls need to get more active; boys need to be taught that as they grow, they’ll develop more muscles without damaging their bodies through steroid use.

Knowledge is increasing at a tremendous rate, but unfortunately, a lot of it is being lost, too. It's important for people to think for themselves, and retain old knowledge while acquiring what's new.

Do you believe much of what ails society today is due to misbeliefs? Please vote, and explain your answer in the Comments section below.

See results

Comedian Dick Gregory grew up in the ghetto. Back then, poor was POOR. Rather than glorifying the experience, he tells it like it is.


© 2012 Yoleen Lucas


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    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 2 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      It's true that people tend to rush into relationships, without considering what they may be getting into. They are more concerned with the status, or what they can get out of the other person, than what that person is really like. When they finally get around to truly looking at one another, a lot of times it's too late. Thanks for your comment.

    • Supuni Fernando profile image

      Supuni Fernando 2 years ago from Colombo, Sri Lanka

      "if the couple decides to get serious, have an open and honest discussion about it, and both agree?" exactly what the society lacks today.. and the root of all relationship misunderstandings and possible divorce.

      Great article.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Thanks for your response. Bad as dances were when you were a teen, they are FAR worse today. I work as a substitute teacher, and at school dances, kids just stand around, occasionally doing something lewd. Or they might laugh at someone trying to dance decently. Often, the only ones who dance are the special ed kids - those with a real disability, not the junior thug ones.

      People meet in pubs / bars because they don't know where else to meet. It's like once you're out of school, you options are limited. Dating sites have grown within the past decade, but I think the best way to meet someone is to check out social clubs that do sports and activities, or go to a community college and take some interest classes. People don't give much thought to meeting and really getting to know others; that's why there's such a problem in this area today.

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 3 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      I agree with you when it comes to the male meeting female routine. When I was a teenager, we used to go to the Palais de Dance in the nearest big town, where we would dance with the girls. Even then there was a lot of discrimination, as the boys lined up on one side of the hall and the girls on the other.

      It took a lot of courage to cross that dance floor when the band started playing, to ask a girl up to dance, and of course they could always refuse, and often did.

      There was also a 'Ladies Choice' where the girls chose their dancing partner, and it was often then that you discovered how much you weren't liked.

      I was quite shocked to find out that nowadays males and females meet in pubs - where's the excitement for goodness sake?

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 6 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Glad you liked it!

    • profile image

      Sooner28 6 years ago

      I have a gay brother so that one hits home. Good post.