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Spiders: Why They Should Be Extinct

Updated on December 19, 2016

I'm sure most people have asked this question before. "Why would God create spiders? Who needs 'em anyway?" I most certaintly am asking that question right now, after coming face to face with a spider scuttling across my pillow. I've heard a couple worthwhile answers regarding the purpose of those dreaded creatures. There's the one citing the biblical story of King David who posed that very same question to God. It turned out that David ended up being saved by a spiders web concealing him when being pursued by King Sauls soldiers. But I mean come on, I respect that, however- couldn't something nicer protect him? Maybe a distracting flock of hummingbirds? Even a beehive would be better.

Then came the answer I received in all my science classes. Spiders are part of the food-chain, and without them, many other creepy crawleys would be creeping us out.

Now it would seem that both these answers say it all: spiders are created by God and therefore MUST have a purpose. And if you wanna be all scientifical, they are part of the eco-system. And if you don't care even one iota about science-then the image of all those other flies and insects being free to roam about is convincing enough. Gives me the shivers even.

Indeed, I do respect the answers given to me. However upon comparing the list of reasons why spiders should not be sent to extincintion with the list of why they most defenitley should (and fast!), I noticed that the latter was a much, much longer list:

1) spiders scuttle, and isn't that just nausea inducing?

2) they bite and sometimes are even fatal (gasp!)

3) the character of charlotte in "Charlotte's Web" was not thaaat important and could have been easily replaced by some other species of mammal. Plus, it would have been easier to read without all those gross spidery descriptions.

4) the most common phobia in the world is arachnophobia- fear of spiders ( and why should such a huge amount of people have to go through all that tension-building fear? I care about those people.

5) precious time is wasted searching for the spider upon first sighting them and then "losing" them which happens more often than not. Spiders are sneaky like that.

So basically, I believe that since there are more reasons why spiders are bad than good, the majority vote should win and spiders be banished. I hope you are reading this God.

I do not appreciate the fact that I had to switch beds, rearrange various furniture pieces, and feel spidery sensations all over my body- all just because a spider thought it was ok to crawl on my pillow. NOT OK. NEVER OK.

I know most of you are probably agreeing with me on the whole spider extinction thing since according to the statistics most of you are scared like me.But just in case I offended any spider lovers, I just wanted to say that you offend me too because loving spiders is just plain old offensive.

I would quote Charlotte as a lasting statement, but until they reprint a less scary version like "Charlotte's Cocoon" or "Charlotte's beehive" I will be unable to leave with you some imparting wisdom.

Except this: Never go to sleep later than the official spider killers of your household. It puts one in a terrible predicament when having to face that 8 legged freak with nothing but a good-for-nothing bottle of deodarant (it does not in fact act like Raid) and a frantic attitude...


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      Person 3 years ago

      This is getting hilarious

      Sorry... But WHO WANTS FLIES SERIOUSLY?!!without spiders flies would take over... Bow down to our new kings THE FLIES

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      plz kill spiders 3 years ago

      kill the spider, i got bit by daddy long legs! do the world a favor plz i would be grateful !

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      Martine 4 years ago

      I agree with Andrew. I see nothing wrong with spiders, although I don't much care for other bugs. Spiders eat mosquito's, flies and cockroaches. Besides, how do they hurt you?

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      alexander 4 years ago

      wow some people. do you know how thankful you should be for spider's being around. i mean for real which one would you rather have 1 or 2 spider's in your house or a thousand flies not leaving you alone and eating all your food. oh and by they way man GROW A PAIR OF BALLS ITS ONLY A FUCKING SPIDER!

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      and 4 years ago

      spiders are putrid. I hope they end up like dinosaurs. (dinosaurs are like a million times cooler)

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      Maheen 4 years ago

      my life in an article! that last piece of advice is too darn good

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      bbbbboooooo 7 years ago

      oh god this was sooo funny

      i whole heartedly want them DEAD and i don't give two craps bout science

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      SpiderLover 7 years ago

      wow, are you that stupid? yes, without spiders, the world will be infested with cockroaches, flies, and also other spiders. be thankful that your house isn't filled with a billion flies. they're much worse because they won't leave until you kill them. Spiders, however, will "scuttle" as soon as they see you (unless you're i their territory)

      and, why would you want something "nicer"? by saying that, you've shown how shallow you are. you don't need something "nicer" or "cuter" TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. Just be thankful then move on!

      the only thing that should be extinct are people like you. you'd do the world a favor. At least spiders are doing their job by lessening the amount of flies and cockroaches in the world.

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      Taylar 8 years ago

      Ugh Kill them all they're ruining my life! Im sure the frog will manage to eat all those flies up, and id rather a frog than freakin spider, and flies are actually easy to shew out the door unlike spiders who just un under your bed and then you don't wanna sleep incase it goes into your bed UGH I cant deal with it!!! Theres one HUGE one in my living room. Theres one in my kitchen cupboard, so im losing weight now! And there is one on my stairs so I have to jump 8 steps down the stairs ¬¬

    • profile image

      Noel 8 years ago

      I quite enjoyed it. I feel the same way. Too bad Andrew couldn't get past the stick up his butt and see the humor in your article.

    • elkafrey profile image

      elkafrey 8 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Hi Andrew,

      I'm very sorry if you took offense at all from my article. I thought that the style of my writing really clearly insinuated that I am not serious about the extinction of spiders. I simply am afraid of them and hoped that my fellow spider-fearers might get a laugh out this. Certainly you are scientifically correct. And I think the author of Charlotte's Web will forgive me for "slandering".

      Enjoy your late night spider visits!

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      Andrew Chance 8 years ago

      If spiders were extinct then the world would become a giant desert with oceans because the out of control insects would be without their biggest predator and would then reproduce at a fast enough rate that eventually there would be no plants because they we eaten by spiders. So with nothing left to protect the remaining soil, the soil would be blown away and replaced or become sand creating desert. So I do not agree that we should exterminate all of the spiders in the world because if we did we would end up being retarded because we technically would have committed suicide. My stepfather has arachnophobia yet understands how important they are to the planet and so would never recommend their destruction.

      If the spider you are talking about is a black widow, brown recluse, or other extremely dangerous spider then by all means destroy it for your own safety and the safety of others. That is just self-preservation.

      Oh, and about that list of yours. On the third reason for destroying them it suggests that a spider is a mammal. Was that a typo or an idiot suggesting that reason. Plus in the debate over spiders the book Charlotte's Web is not a very good reason for or against their destruction. Therefore reason three is just plain ridiculous and slanders the author of Charlotte's Web. Some of the writings in the webs are similar to a real incident that happened long ago when some spider webs had legible letters in them such as WW which people at the time thought they stood for either Woodrew Wilson or the World War because the second world war was long away when this happened.