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The Invisible People. a Little Understood Phenomenon in Our World Today.
The invisible people muddle through their lives day to day without much ado and without much thought to what is actually missing in their existence.
The most pronounced evidence of this mundane existence is when we reach the end of each year in silent reminiscent reflection of the past year, as well as the promises that are made to be broken for the coming new year.
Feeling invisible and insignificant in a sea of frenzied human sharks pushing and shoving each other in every public establishment only adds to the fervor of the end days of every year of our lives.
It is filled with a last minute flurry of an expected fulfillment of an annual obligation characterized by that final self abasing gift shopping frenzy.
Coming from a childhood with a father, mother (or both), who were only "physically" present in the lives of their children, this time of the year is a painful reminder of what was, what could have been, what should have been, and what should be in the future.
So many parents of today either repeat the actions and attitudes of their own parents or go overboard to make sure they do not. To try to ensure that their children don't become damaged people as well, spoiling them to excess only creates another emotional and social problem for them instead; that of exaggerated self worth and an unrealistic expectancy from others.
- The New Year's Resolutions You Won't Make for 2014 | Christina Kelly
Before even starting your list, make another list -- the list of resolutions you made for 2013. How many of them did you actually finish? Better yet, how many of them did you even start?
The Invisibility Factor
Children who are 'ignored' and emotionally 'bruised', and/or 'abused', are usually scarred for life.
Trying to buy respect, acknowledgment, and atonement for another year lost to invisibility, by giving gifts that we can ill afford, is far from satisfying or redemptive.
The 'invisibility factor' breeds low self esteem and low self worth, and deeply instills a sense of never being good enough to merit acknowledgment by others.
When children are brought up in this environment they feel like they are invisible to others most of the time.
They tend to grow up and seek a career that constantly espouses them to the needy of the world which only adds to that invisibility, when that need is no longer present, and the needy exits from their life. Adding to that feeling of desertion and abandonment.
- The Invisible Psychopath | Psychology Today
By the time you identify the charming sociopath, it may already be too late. By Jeff Wise...
Givers and Takers
There are only 2 kinds of people in this world: the givers and the takers.
The takers take what they can, then discard the givers when there is nothing left to take.
The givers, give until there is nothing left to give, then they are discarded by the takers, as no longer useful.
Takers are loudly present in life. Givers are silently invisible.
The cycle is self perpetuating.
The 'invisible' people are subconsciously unwilling participants and are a mere continuation of the way they were treated as children, and can not be considered a causation unto themselves.
We are mostly what we are taught to be by our parents.
If children are pushed aside by their parents, they condition themselves to be pushed aside as adults, and so it becomes their reality.
If we lack the strength to overcome those shortcomings, we are destined to repeat them with our own children, fawn over them relentlessly and smother them, or worse; refuse to have children at all to be brought into a world they see as cold, callous, unforgiving, uncaring, and unaccepting.
- Who’s Smarter: The Selfish or the Generous? | Psychology Today
Rethinking the intelligence of givers and takers By Adam Grant, Ph.D....
The over achievers
The compensating over achievers who grab the brass ring and make themselves loudly 'visible' to the world often find themselves more 'invisible' than they ever thought they could be.
Wealth, fortune and fame, becomes more of an 'attraction' to the takers than the givers have ever experienced in their life times. And when this fact becomes painfully obvious, it only exacerbates the feelings of 'invisibility'.
The invisible people who ultimately find fortune and fame, often find themselves surrounded by those who enhance their feelings of loneliness, and feelings of being taken for granted, and being used and abused all over again.
When it is reinforced as adults, it makes the realities of their childhood even more unbearable and painful.
The inner pain is often heightened and intensified when the 'givers' realize they are more vulnerable, and more susceptible to the 'takers' after their success, than they were before attaining it.
We are mostly judged by what we 'visibly' give to others.
Those that 'take' have greater growing expectations of what they think they are worthy of, the next time they have expectations of receiving unearned, and undeserved, 'gifts' from the 'givers'
To worsen that expectancy, the 'takers' often have a subtle way of making the 'givers' actually feel guilty about not being 'generous enough'.
The 'givers' are the emotionally abused of the world with the unhealed inner bruises who think they do not deserve any thing more than to give, without questioning the motives of the takers, and without any expectations of ever receiving anything in return.
Enabling becomes the normal for 'givers' and they slip deeper into an abyss that is filled with a bottomless pit of despair.
In the end, the givers find themselves alone in the world when they are too old to be of worth to anyone, or to society.
- The Overachievers | Psychology Today
Performance psychologist John Eliot describes the characteristics found in overachievers. And timid or conservative behavior doesn't enter the discussion. By Hara Estroff Marano | Psychology Today
A fitting end?
In the end
Nursing homes are filled with those forgotten, insignificant, and invisible people; and ironically enough they are, in the end, NOT 'insignificant' at all.
They may be ignored and abused by their caretakers, but they are still giving of themselves by being devoid of independence and becoming totally dependent on others; which in turn, gives those others employment and their own purpose in life.
When the lifelong 'takers' become useless and can no longer care for themselves, then they too find themselves, being the unwitting 'givers of jobs' when they lose their independence, to the next generation of new 'takers' and 'users' of the world.
When the life long 'givers' depart the earth then they truly do become the 'invisible person' that they always felt themselves to be throughout their life times. No one remembers the "invisible" people thereby fulfilling their life long expectations.
Even in their departure they remain the 'invisible people' of the world.
The Cycle continues
The continuing cycles
The next generation learns nothing from the last generation.
They do not see themselves as either 'givers' or 'takers', but they are products of a human society that uses everything up, then discards it when it is no longer valuable, or useful, to them.
That attitude applies to human beings as well. We are only friends with others as long as there is an ulterior purpose. With out that purpose the friendship is lost.
Children growing up learn quickly that no one befriends the 'invisible person' for fear they will be just as invisible and insignificant.
This destructive divisional cycle simply continues without notice, without interruption, and without any significance to others.
The 'givers' in life do not want to see themselves as the 'invisible', and the 'takers' will always deny they are the 'users and abusers' in a deliberate sense, thereby self negating their roles in the process of making and maintaining that population of "invisible people".
The 'invisible people' remain the 'ghosts of society', and as we know there are very few people that have the capacity to see a ghost, and if so, loathe to speak of it out loud and publicly.
So, the 'invisible people' become a subculture of just what they are: "invisible" to the rest of society.
by: d.william 01/02/2014
The invisibility factor
Have you, or someone you know, every felt like they were invisible to everyone else?
We are all wondrous beauties of Nature, unique unto ourselves
© 2014 d.william