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Thoughts and Issues
What we fear the most is within ourselves.
It is a strange coincidence that what we fear the most has nothing to do with the outside situation, but more on what is lurking within us.
As such there are number of worrying thoughts crisscrossing our mind in the day to day life. If we zero it down then the most primary fears are.
- Fear of losing health.
- Fear of bankruptcy.
- Fear of losing our loved ones.
- Fear of failing in life.
- Fear of loneliness
Most of the other fears we encounter can be considered as offshoot of the above. Now the question is how these fears take root in our psyche and what steps can be taken to avoid them.
Rational or Irrational?
Now the defining factor comes to one basic point. Will our fears actually materialize into reality? If our responses were given a scale from 1 to 10, then most of us would give a rating of 11. That is the importance that we pay to the particular thought.
Emotional thoughts no matter how chronic, always start small, as tiny as a flake of snow. As time progresses with arguments and self-talk within ourselves , the snow flake starts tumbling down the hill gathering momentum, becoming bit by bit larger, until it finally becomes a humongous snowball crushing everything in its paths.
What started as a relatively irritating sting, in time starts to consume almost all of our brain resources and we are consumed in a never ending loop of self-pity.
The irony is, the more one tries to suppress the disturbing thought, the more dominant it becomes. The mind starts providing arguments in favor of the impending disaster. But at the same time as self defense thoughts are also generated negating the same .
This state results in a gridlock of thoughts where we find it hard to choose the better half.
We by design of evolution has been hardwired to face a difficult situation by either fight or flight. It was perfect during the stone ages when we encountered dangerous opponent such as wild animals or a rival tribe. But fast forward to modern times, this option has its loop holes. Some situations as such, cannot be fought with or escaped from, as they might I stress the word might happen in the future or happened long past . To say it in a nutshell, how can one fight something which is imaginary or made up inside the mind? Seeing no way to escape the hallucinations, the notable includes depression, anxiety, and different phobias. Some try to combat it with drugs, alcohol or porn. While these do provide temporary relief, the mind with its made up fears are always present in the background waiting to pounce back once the effects wears off.
In his book, The Wisdom of Psychopath, Kevin Dutton describes how having some traits of a psychopath can actually help one tire over imagined obstacles. The traits include mindfulness, focus and rational thinking.
- Mindfulness is a practice long viewed by Indian ascetics as the key to happiness and bliss. To be rooted in the present moment through yoga, exercise or any such activities can reduce the mischievous actions of the mind. Just be here this moment, look around your bedroom, your sofa set, the outside view. Suddenly the mind becomes quiet and all thought patterns cease.
- Focus does not mean we need to concentrate on one thing all our lives. On the contrary, it can be viewed as removing unwanted clutters from you daily life and to concentrate on what Is important and needs attention. This rule can be applied in our career, family lives and any other areas where obstacles arise.
- Rational thinking is where logic comes into play. “ Would you suffer your thoughts or rather plan and prepare for any future disasters “ When we apply the process of logical thinking, the results can be amazing. We can chart out a plan of action, the dos and don’ts and even ask for external guidance. In fact the more prepared we are to combat a situation; the less fear comes out of it.
Understand the pattern of the mind. No matter how hard we try, the thoughts come and go. It is quite natural. But we also have the choice of whether to respond to the same or not. If we withdraw our energy from the same, well they cease to exist and slowly fade away.
Medicinal help is needed if even with the above steps, there is no relief. Anti depressants are very helpful in combating stress and anxiety and with proper counseling, we can surely get an excellent difference.