Today Marks My One Year Experience with HubPages

HubPages is one of those I consider most wonderful experiences that can ever happen in my whole life. I had never thought that stumbling on HubPages on September 27, 2011 had turned out to be a Divine Guidance that had brought colors into my life.

There are two miracles that happened in my life since I owned a laptop and started the internet connection in 2008, right after the death of my English fiancé, Colin Carroll.

On his deathbed, on October 25, 2008, a week before his final day on Earth, he requested me to write our love story and added that the reason why he bought me the laptop a month earlier was for me to write the story; the story about finding me as the best thing that ever happened to him in his whole life.

I wrote the story alright but sad to say that I was hacked and my computer files were all corrupted. It was a 26 chapter narrative story that was recounting all the incidents between Colin and me from beginning to the end of his life.

What life was before HubPages

I was depressed and lost my courage to live in the next two years after Colin’s demise; I didn’t want to imagine how life would be without him.

Two days before he died I bought 100 pieces of morphine 10mg, and 50 pieces of morphine 30mg as prescribed and signed by seven licensed Cancer Doctors. But he had taken only twelve pieces of the ten mg and 6 pieces of the 30mg then he died. That left me 88 pieces of the 10mg and 44 pieces of the 30mg.

My intense grief led me to take those morphine pills every day while I sulk in the corner of my room for about six months till I got sick and almost paralyzed. I was contemplating suicide and thinking of taking all 30 pieces f the 30mg morphine pills but my son got mad at me upon knowing that I was taking morphine pills; he then ordered me to throw away the remaining pills.

It would have aggravated my desire to die when suddenly I heard that Brother Escobar, the Chilean Missionary who ordained my Dad as a Pioneering Filipino Missionary in the late 60’s was still alive and had arrived in the Philippines. Amazingly I desired to see him again. It has been 47 years that I have not seen him. I was only 9 years old when he started frequenting our home both in the city and in our farm in Chile Valley.

My sister also said that Brother Escobar asked about me and upon knowing that I was just in Angeles City, he asked my sister to tell me that he wanted to see me. That started my desire to live again. Such desire brought all the good reasons for me to actually live my life again.

My best friend of 17 years, Ma’am Veron, who was now the School Administrator of the new San Fernando branch of SPCC called me to report and teach again under her administration.

When I got my job back in 2010, I started to rent a room just for myself; that was the first time ever that I live all by my own.

In all my life I never had lived with nobody around me. Depression, melancholy, feelings of being abandoned, of rejection and all the sorts, constantly attacked me so that I sometimes regressed to taking again some of the remaining morphine pills. But my best friend was my neighbor and perhaps she understood my situation that almost every day, she and her husband would come by to check on me and together we would go walking in the park then went to their home for dinner before I finally retire at night to my own room.

My book “Colin and Jenny” was done by this time but I didn’t know where to show them so I just kept it in my file.

The Internet

Whenever I was home at night the laptop was my sole companion. On weekends my maid would come to do the cleaning and what else to be done in my home.

I had an internet and I did lots of research and visited sites until I stumbled on people who chatted with me. These chatting activities really broke my nerves; I had chatted to thousands of people for a year; most if not all of them were really disgusting.

Then an idea came that if I had to chat with anyone he should be my next husband, my future husband for that matter. So I joined tagged in 2010 where I met my husband to be in August 2010.

Such a long experience in the net until I was hacked because lots of people were angry with me; I just don’t belong to these types of people. At this I had joined Facebook but I didn’t really understand it so that I continued hoping from one site to another, leaving behind pictures, some blogs and comments then forget about them.

My first laptop was already hacked and destroyed that all the files were gone; videos, programs, photos, documents and all files were corrupted so that I developed a phobia in the net and with the people therein.

Stumbling on HubPages

Exactly one year ago, this date, September 27, I stumbled casually into HubPages. How would I know that I would stay here for this long?

When I signed up in HubPages it was just like I normally did in all sites that I had stumbled on. I put my picture in the profile, wrote two short hubs then left and forgot about it. This was what I always did in the net; signed up, do some things then leave. There had been many sites that I did just like what I did to HubPages. Most often, when I left the sites for some months where I never returned, the management would send me reminder emails. I don’t remember HubPages doing that to me.

I was actually discouraged staying in any site because I had the paranoia that hackers follow me and destroy everything I do. Google or gmail and the rest of the sites were really confusing me; I felt like a traitor, an impostor, was following or cloning and sharing my account.

But in December, 2011 I happened to stumble on HubPages again I started writing my thoughts down and found out that it is much safer to be here so that I continued writing and writing, in the spirit of fun.

HubPages is everything a site I need to learn lots of things in the internet. I left all the sites which have similar activities with HubPages. I cannot write down my thoughts anymore in any site.

HubPages is it…Happy Anniversary to me in HubPages! Cheers to HubPages.

For as long as HubPages will allow me, I will stay.

HubPages is the story of my life

HubPages got many of my life experiences, my feelings, my thoughts, concepts, ideas and even my life as I live on.