Unicorn Deer

TUSCANY, ITALY _ the mystical legend of the Unicorn does exist, however, in reality not with a horse. Oooops, it makes sense that it would be on a deer doesn’t it? Most of them got horns anyway, so what’s one or two genetic screw-ups? Hey Santa can vouch for his remarkably strange flying herd, plus Rudolph the red nosed reindeer with his nose so bright. But this Roe Deer, named “Unicorn”, I’ll call him “Uni” cuz it’s better. Was found in Italy with a single horn on top of his head will generate magical powers of healing and calm. No Pfizer® ya can’t grind down Uni’s horn to make a new “horny” pill, “VenissonAgra”!

This shy young, four-leaf clover nibbler with one centered horn is drawing hundreds of curious away from the “David” statue, by Michelangelo in l’ Academia di Bella Arte. Prado, Italy is in the Tuscan hill and is quite near to Florence. The throng is swelling like they usually do for a “Crying Madonna Statue” sighting! But unicornial, unicornucopia mythical mysticism and religious dogmatic mysticism are on either sides of the coin.

“Uni” who lives on a nature park and was born in captivity, shares his media stardom with all the other creatures in the park, especially with his one-year old twin. His twin is not single-horned and tries to live a tranquil “Oh my deer life.” But he’s eclipsed by his bro’s shine and sparkle. “Hey twin bro, don’t complain, Uni got ya both booked on YouTube and CNN, plus FOX too! “Larry King Live” is next, “Doan’ Go ‘Way!”

But seriously though, all kidding a side, for now at least. The unicorn, a horse-like creature with magic healing powers, has appeared in legends and stories throughout history, from ancient and medieval texts to the books of today, such “Henry Potter.” But a deer, a sweet, gentle vegetarian creature that doesn’t hurt a fly. The name “deer”, sounds like “dear”, and one of its definitions is; “heartfelt loved one”, really describes Uni to the “T!” Now we need a Disney® cartoon and some stuffed-animal toys. Ya know like “ Sue the T-Rex or Nessy’s” got. A“Beanie Babies® would work! “John Deere®”, wait your turn guys. Hmmmmm… I don’t think a deer logo with a single-centered-horn on his head would fit the image. It would look too much like Uni got his antlers caught in the combine…ouch!

And lastly, you hunters out there! Stay away from Uni, he poops gold pellets and born Italian his venison veal tastes like its mixed with lasagna con pesto basilico, fava beans and a nice chianti. Fortunately it’s bad luck to mess with Unicorns… Capice!