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What Led up to Homeschooling My Children

Updated on July 18, 2019
PAINTDRIPS profile image

Denise homeschooled her 4 children and has stories. She provided art lessons for many children in the homeschool community for many years.

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Why Do It?

Why would anyone do it? Why would you want to pull your children out of public school and take on the burden and responsibility to your children’s education? It’s really a lot of trouble and you have to convince yourself about the good reasons to do it if you are to tackle the job seriously. You will have people question your motives so you should have an answer that satisfies them and yourself. You may even have well-meaning members of your own family who challenge you that this isn’t in the best interest of the children. In my case, there were several reasons for our choice to homeschool our children.

I didn’t want to at first. I really didn’t think I liked my children enough to have them underfoot 24/7. I used to LOVE when September came and I had 5 or 6 uninterrupted hours of alone time per day. I could THINK for a while, clean at my leisure, have ice cream in the middle of the day without 4 voices asking for some too. However, the children and their problems came first.

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We Thought It Was ADHD

My youngest was having some attention problems that just weren’t going away. We found later that she had ADHD but during her first few years in school, we weren’t sure what the problem was. She was constantly getting time-out and detentions for being out of her chair and disrupting the class. Finally, we pulled her out of public school and paid the exorbitant fees to have her in a private school. That turned out to be no better. There were a couple of boys that had been expelled from public school and had no other recourse but to go to this same private school. They picked on my daughter daily. They were two years older and a full foot taller but when she finally had enough in the hall one day, she turned around, curled up her thin little fist and punched them right in the throat. That’s when she was expelled. The problem here is that no matter how many times I went down to the school, I could not get anyone to stop these boys from harassing my daughter. What is going on in schools?

It took quite a few years but later we found out she was on the Autism spectrum and it wasn't just ADHD. If only we had known what was going on with her it would have helped us deal a little better.

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Threatening Environment

If this had been the only problem, we could have dealt with it. But this wasn’t isolated. The eldest daughter was having some problems also. She was really having no problems academically (that I knew of at the time), but socially, there were several problems. She had been talking to one of her friends about her faith. Eventually, her friend wanted to come to church with us and we were very happy to have her. However later her older cousins found out and threatened my daughter. There were 5 of them who wanted to “jump” my daughter outside the school. She only told me about the incident when I couldn’t get her to go to school for several days. When your 11-year-old child is afraid to go to school, something is wrong.

Bullies

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Bullies Abound

Then there were the problems facing my son. He has always been a little small for his age. He is 15 months older than the youngest girl but everyone thought he was the youngest because of his size. It was an embarrassment for him. Wouldn’t you know that is the one child that other bigger bullyboys want to beat up on? In the public school he attended, the PE class was grouped with 60 boys in one class. It was no wonder that one teacher was just not able to monitor the 3 bullies hitting my son. We finally went down to the principle’s office about it. The Principal gave us the suggestion that my son should try to punch the boys back. He probably wouldn’t win, 3 against one, and the Principal would have to suspend him for 3 days for trying, but he felt the bullies wouldn’t bully him anymore. This was unacceptable for us. We didn’t want to go home and tell our sweet gentle son he was going to have to try to punch boys they admittedly couldn’t control.

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Passive-Aggressive Kid

If this wasn’t enough, we had one more problem. The middle girl, who was seemingly doing fine in public school was having a problem with her teacher. It wasn’t a big problem or anything that wouldn’t have worked itself out eventually, but it was one more straw on this camel’s back.

My middle girl has lovely, long dark hair. When she was born, she had so much dark silky hair, the nursery nurses combed it up into a ponytail on top of her head, tied with a bow. She looked like Pebbles Flintstone. On top of that, she had black silky hair on her ears that swept up to a point like some sort of fairy princess, and so much hair on her eyebrows that it looked like one continuous brow across her forehead. I explain all this because even though her eyebrows finally separated into two and she lost the hair on her ears, she did have a tendency to put her brows together when she was mad. She could give you the scariest look from under that brow, which we came to call the Nuke. If she gave you that mean look you felt like you had been reduced to a pile of ash.

The day inevitably had to come when she Nuked her teacher. The poor woman wasn’t a novice teacher, but she had never been Nuked before and she was overcome by my daughter’s anger. The teacher called me in tears over this mean look. I know I seem heartless, but I nearly laughed, probably because it was a mercy to know I wasn’t the only recipient of the Nuke. But this teacher was distraught over it. She had told my daughter that she couldn’t do something in class and had been Nuked for a week. I confronted my girl and she didn’t deny doing it but wasn’t going to easily stop, now that she knew it affected the teacher. Now that’s a problem. She is a little passive-aggressive to be Nuking people with a look but not openly defiant or violent. That look got her what she wanted way too often and I was going to have to put an end to that.

By the way, today she is a police officer and still Nukes people, but mostly those who need it. It is still surprisingly effective.

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I'll Try It For ONE Year

All of these incidents together made me very worried about what to do. I didn’t want to keep them home for homeschool but I didn’t want any more of these crazy problems. I knew we didn’t have enough funds to send them all to private school, and it wasn’t even helping for the youngest anyway. I prayed all summer, hoping God would miraculously reveal door number 4; something I hadn’t thought of yet. When September came I finally relented and decided to commit to just one year of homeschool. But I made it known to my husband and kids that if I didn’t like it, there wouldn’t be another year of it.

Would you be willing to homeschool if your children were having serious problems in public school?

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Final Thoughts

Needless to say, it worked for us and I liked it. What is more, the kids learned well and passed two grade levels that year with one-on-one attention. I highly recommend homeschooling for those parents who are committed to working with their children. I'd love to hear your thoughts or questions in the comments below.

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Educational Comments Welcomed

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    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      FlourishAnyway,

      It is a lot of work and takes total dedication, and it isn't for everyone. When I started I was very glad to read anything written by homeschoolers so I felt less alone and more validated. I think the catalysts in my situation had to happen or I wouldn't have tackled it. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 years ago from USA

      Thanks for writing about your experience. Although I could never find myself doing it, I do have a sister-in-law who home schools her five kids.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      lilyfly,

      You are not a meany and I appreciate a second pair of eyes checking my spelling. I think we all become English teachers in our latter years. My mother used to harp on "ain't" saying it wasn't a word. I'm sure she is very unhappy that they have included it in the dictionary as a real word now.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • lilyfly profile image

      Lillian K. Staats 

      4 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

      Not to be a meany- It's led, not lead... I find myself struggling with spelling and correct grammar more and more every year.

      I'll bet if they cracked my head open, my brain would be the size of a walnut!

      You write very uplifting, informative hubs! Cheers, lily

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      AliciaC,

      Thank you. I think I did all I could to ensure they had a good education. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is very interesting, Denise. Home schooling certainly seems to have worked well for your children! Your hub should be very useful for other families who are considering home schooling.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      florypaula,

      I'm certainly glad you understand the gravity of the responsibility. I guess you are right that it does depend on countries that accept it as an alternative. I have heard of very few that actually don't allow it though. And yes it is not something to take lightly. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      MsDora,

      I appreciate that you can see that. It was a great commitment for me to take on and I have to say, in the end I'm very glad I did it. I had a friend who wanted to homeschool as well, but she just didn't have the drive and commitment and soon had to give it up. It does take a lot of work and it isn't for everyone

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • florypaula profile image

      Paula 

      4 years ago

      This is something to consider, but only in countries that accept and recognize homeschooling as an alternative. Plus that you have a huge responsibility as a teacher because you are not only preparing him for life anymore you are also preparing them for future jobs, so actually play a role in the quality of life they are going to have. This is definitely not something to take lightly.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for sharing your experience and your success. At the heart of it, is your concern and commitment. Great share!

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Dana Tate,

      I agree with you. I think I stated that I wouldn't have considered homeschool for my children if the public school wasn't letting me (and them) down. It was a huge commitment for me to take it on. It isn't something you can do lightly or half-heartedly. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Larry Rankin,

      Thanks, Larry. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read it.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 

      4 years ago from LOS ANGELES

      I feel they're benefits to both home schooling and regular school. It depends on what works best for the families. Due to bullying many parents are making the decision to home school.

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 

      4 years ago from Oklahoma

      Very interesting perspective.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Buildreps,

      Thank you for that. It's true. Homeschooling isn't for everyone and I should mention that. Some people just aren't cut out for it. It takes some discipline and determination. You can't just quit in the middle if you don't like it. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Padmajah Badri,

      Thank you so much for commenting and visiting. I hope you ask if you have any questions or concerns about homeschooling your children.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • PAINTDRIPS profile imageAUTHOR

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Linda Pogue,

      Mine too. But did I ever have flack against me while I was doing it. Even some folks from my church frowned at me. Thanks for commenting.

      Blessings,

      Denise

    • Buildreps profile image

      Buildreps 

      4 years ago from Europe

      Great article you wrote here, Paintdrips. I don't know whether home-schooling is better or not, this depends of the considerations of the parents and the children. Beautiful pictures. I see so much happiness around you!

    • Padmajah Badri profile image

      Padmajah Badri 

      4 years ago from India

      This Hub cleared all my inhibitions about homeschooling children.Thank you.Happy Writing !

    • Linda Pogue profile image

      Linda Pogue 

      4 years ago from Missouri

      I homeschooled for many of the same reasons. I found out that I actually liked my kids, too. Now my children homeschool their children.

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