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When Succeeding Feels Like Failure, Here's Why

Updated on November 26, 2018
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The person has been working as a freelance writer since 2011 and graduated from Indira Gandhi National Open University in Delhi, India.

Reaching the hight

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At the top

What is the reason for failure?

Did you ever wonder why people who are less smarts than you, less experience than you, who aren't as good looking as you, who are a lot younger than you, with less education than you achieve more, do more, have more, give more, and enjoy themselves more than you do?

OK, yes, some of them have the brown-nosing thing down pat, but that only takes a person so far. And it's not very far, in the big scheme of things.

Allow me to share with you a bit of the puzzle...

The buzzword now in the personal development/ self-help field today is 'automatically.' "As in, I'll teach you about wealth and then money will 'automatically' be attracted to you" Or "I'll teach you how to eat in a way that the pounds will 'automatically' fall off you."

But does that happen?

Not usually.

Only IF you were to learn and apply whatever is being sold, indeed, these desired results would automatically happen.

But not just by osmosis.

You see, we buy hundreds of 'how-to' programs for our research, we subscribe to hundreds of newsletters, and I know personally hundreds of people from hundreds of companies that sell them. Good products. Good companies. Good people.

But I need to tell you straight...

None of it happens automatically.

Primarily because no matter what you know, success at EVERYTHING takes more than knowledge of what to do.

Because if just knowing WHAT to do guaranteed success, everyone who graduates from college would be massively successful, everyone who takes any home-study courses will be an expert on the topic, psychotherapy would make everyone feel super fantastic and be done with it in a month or two.

But none of this is true.

Because belief systems put limits on what you do and what we can achieve, no matter how intelligent you are.

Attitudes stop you from reaching higher even though the success you want is within your grasp.

Conflicting emotions can make the easiest decisions and tasks feel nearly impossible.

Self-defeating thoughts just "pop in" at the last second to wipe out the certain victory.

One of the biggest culprits is fear of success.

Why on earth would anyone fear success?

Hundreds of reasons.


  • Friends don't treat me the same anymore
  • I have way too many responsibilities now
  • I'm forced to work with people I hate
  • I "never" get to see my family, friends, etc anymore
  • I can't ever eat X food on this plan
  • I don't feel right living in this big house, neighborhood
  • I'd have to speak in public... no way
  • It's too risky
  • The pressure of performing/winning will be too great
  • Everyone will treat me differently
  • I'll be seen as a greedy money-grubber
  • I won't like myself if I get everything I want

In fact, we uncovered just a tad under 800 core reasons that can make success at any venture feel like a failure.

There are easily over 3,000 other peripheral/ associated implications that can be real or conjured up in the mind relating to the "negatives" about succeeding in the various areas or roles of life.

And they all make succeeding feel like failing.

Just one, suddenly being different than your friends, is enough all by itself to keep you from going for some really juicy goal.

Smokers keep going because their friends do it.

Fat people stay fat because if they would lose the shared experience of eating with their fat friends.

Leaving our broke friends behind is often the single biggest reason for keeping our own financial situation just the way it is.

All these "fear of success" failure patterns play out in every single area of life.

That means that it's devastating.

Fear of success, whatever caused it and keeps it alive in your mind is easily one of the most common and most detrimental of all the reasons why people don't become more in their lifetimes.

There is simply no better, faster, easier method for rising above the limiting invisible, yet very real, beliefs that keep you from being the person you dreamed about many years ago.

And if eliminating your limiting automatic responses to decisions and activities that would bring you more accomplishment, joy and rewards weren't enough.

Because if growth isn't THE purpose of life, it's right up there on the list


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