Lucky Day to Be a Lady

The feminine hem of a silk skirt, the color pink, dotting my I’s with hearts… I always felt bad for the boys, stuck pushing their boring dump trucks around the playpen. I couldn’t figure out why anyone would possibly want to move dirt and trash around for fun! As I got older I learned it only got worse for the guys, they had to open doors for us girls, pick up our tabs, and then come some emergency… women and children first please.

Enjoy these five other ways being a woman beats being a man, any day!

I See Your Blemish But You Can’t See Mine!

Early on I realized boys didn’t have to be as attractive as the girls to be liked by the opposite gender, they just had to have a good personalaity. I decided then this was simply because a boy looked just how he looked, he couldn’t change anything about that. I felt fortunate, any blemish I despised I could cover-up with cosmetics or hair-dye. If you’re a young man and you have discolored skin, dark circles under your eyes, or even just a zit… you’re screwed, the whole world can see it. I mean imagine a young man getting caught with concealer in his back pocket? Detrimental to his entire high school career! Women can be atrocious behind closed doors, give them an hour to get ready and they come out super-star status.

Labor Pains

The idea of giving birth simply terrifies me but ask any woman who's actually done it, and she'll tell you she wouldn't trade the painful experience for the world. The connection a mother and her baby develop is unmatched. Many fathers have publicly voiced their opinions lately, some saying they feel left out of the bounding process.

Not only do men lack the opportunity to carry the baby in their womb, they also miss out on breast-feeding their baby, another intimate bounding experience. Hence the reason for those strap on breasts!

When Thomas Beatie came out totting a large pregnant belly, the world freaked out. Thomas, a transgender, had dreamed of the day he’d no longer be a girl. Yet once a man, he still craved one very feminine trait: pregnancy. So as a man he carried his baby to full term and after undergoing a cesarean C-section, delivered a healthy child. Even though Beatie was once a woman, many spared him no sympathy. He was forced to relocate after multiple death threats from a nearby religious community.

Unlikely Perverts

Ever been at a venue and really had to pee? Only the line for women is two miles long and no one is even waiting outside the men's room! As a woman we can dart into the men’s room, although we will likely be grossed out we don't worry someone is going to yell, “Pervert!” Or that we will be escorted from the property. A man on the other hand, is under scrutiny of being considered ‘creepy’ for simply doing the same thing.

This breeds from the age-old idea that woman are too pure to do anything wrong. Although we logically know this is not the case, we see murderous women on TV everyday, old ideas and generalizations are hard to break. Women are still sweet and wear pink, allowing us the chance to check out many cute butts without ever getting caught ;).

Free to Party

Thanks to the fact men are eager to buy us ladies drinks, going out is far less expensive when you wear a dress. Just walking through the hotels of Las Vegas, club promoters stand around with bags of wristbands, waiting for ladies to walk by so they can strap one on each wrist. The perks of this wristband no man ever gets? Free entry and free drinks in unlimited quality, usually until just before midnight. My boyfriend decided this was "sexist" while we were in Vegas last summer, I could only laugh as I reminded him, "it's saving you money."

Variety of Outfits

For men its pants or shorts, a button down dress shirt or a suit and tie. Us ladies? We’ve got stilettos, not to be confused with wedges or pumps. We have off-the-shoulder tops, crop tops, spaghetti straps, men’s dress shirts, or a simple tee. Long dresses, short dresses, short-shorts and silk pants! Women have the freedom to dress in so many different fashions! Ever notice how small the man’s department is compared to the woman’s? With so many ways to flaunt our figures, we should consider ourselves lucky! For some of us it may take years, but eventually we figure out the styles and cuts that fit our bodies best. For guys, there are so few options many feel their bodies are not flattered by traditional clothing! Yet, unless they want to make their own clothes and feel the burn of social sanction, they are trapped in the typical blue jeans and slacks.

Perhaps born fifty years earlier, I wouldn’t feel so passionate about being a lady. Sure, I’d still have the frilly skirts and the lace clutch and men would open doors and pay for my meals but these micro-luxuries would have come with a steep cost: my freedom to be something other than a home maker. Today I can enjoy all the above- and more, like having a voice and a career. So before the men catch onto how good we women now have it, let’s enjoy all the perks we deserve!