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Want to Win Every Argument? Follow This Guide and Win Every Other Argument Like a Boss

Updated on December 18, 2017
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Saif Khan has been writing articles and blogs for over 4 years. He's a Computer Sciences professional, an avid researcher, and a Tech Savvy.

How To Win an Argument like a Boss.

Want to Win Every Argument? Follow This Guide and Win Every Other Argument Like A Boss

We live in a world filled with all kinds of people. Every other person that we interact with has his/her own views and different perspectives of looking at things. It isn’t always possible to agree or sometimes disagree with what the other person is saying. When a simple exchange of words turns into diverging or opposing views, it instantly becomes an argument. We know that if the argument is between two persons, one of them wins and the other loses. Winning an argument ultimately depends on how well you respond to the person arguing with you.

If you’ve been in an argument, you know how important it is for you to win it. But, if you’ve ever lost an argument, you know it’s hard to digest for quite some time. To avoid losing an argument and saving yourself from that awkward feeling, you can learn how to win an argument. In this article, we’ll discuss how to prove your point to win the argument in a very courteously educated way.

Follow these points to turn an argument your way every time.

1. Confidence is the Key

Being confident throughout an argument is a surefire way to have an upper hand over your opponent. It can be a very good element in any type of argument. Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong can help you evaluate the situation better and act accordingly. As a 2013 study suggests, people often don’t listen to the most smartest ones but they do listen to people who know what is right. So, based on this and some other studies, we can say that remaining confident in an argument can reward you with a definitive win over your opponent.

2. Questions to Ask in an Argument

You don’t want to annoy your opponent in an argument because it can get ugly in a matter of seconds. So what should you do? Well, if you have to ask some questions to reach an understandable conclusion, you must ask some Open-ended questions only. Open-ended questions and their answers will not only help you understand the situation, but will also eliminate the chances of competitive interactions between you and the opponent. In addition, the discussions will amazingly turn friendly and to some extent, cooperative ones. If your opponent isn’t familiar with all this, you have a good chance of winning the argument with just the right questions.

3. Be Courteous and Polite

Every argument isn’t always rational. Yes, there could be a solid logic behind an argument, but most of the times, the arguments lack reason or the logic. This doesn’t actually mean that you should not take it into consideration. You can turn a losing argument into a promised win by simply respecting the point of view of your opponent. It could be totally ridiculous, but knowing what the other person is saying can help you understand it better.

This doesn’t mean that you have to agree to what the other person is saying, but seeing the world as your opponent does, can be handy. If you want to truly influence your opponent, you must know what actually is going on in the arguer’s head. Once you are inside his/her head, you can easily lower the temperature by showing empathy.

4. Don’t be a Hot Shot and Don’t Try To Win

Winning an argument despite you are right or wrong, feels awesome but it can land you in serious trouble as well. In case if you are a hot shot and you are full of confidence, you might accidentally and unintentionally attack the ideas of your opponent. This puts the arguer into a state of defense and he/she can become your fierce enemy in no time. This could also shoot them into a fight or flight mode. If you are somehow able to push the arguer on edge, it could be the last moment of an argument.

This can also lead to a “No Getting back” state and if that happens, there won’t be any way to get through the arguer. So, you must let the arguer explain his/her point of view, access it thoroughly and act accordingly, and carefully.

5. Control Your Emotions

Are you familiar with the Halperin review? It suggests that emotions play a very important role in an argument. They can alter your ability to fully appraise the situation in an argument. Furthermore, according to the Halperin review, another equally important factor is the ability to regulate your emotions in a situation. You can either lose your temper or control it by controlling your emotions and this directly affects your stance in an argument. For example, if you are a person who loses temper easily, you can antagonize the opponent in a matter of seconds.

This will further worsen the situation and it can result in a wrathful blow from the opponent. Appearing or becoming calm while in an argument, won't make you look weak in any sense. This actually adds to your points table by showing that you are in full control of your emotions. Remember that this exercise can be a big win for both of the arguers and it can end an argument the right away. So, remaining calm in an argument and focusing on a more reasoned approach is what you should look for in an argument.

6. Respect and Be Respected

Most of the arguments have no apparent victors at all. Both the arguers can think of winning an argument in their own way but it isn’t always possible to win an argument fully in some specific situations. That is because both sides can come up with logical explanations, resources, and solid reasons. Sometimes, when you think you have turned the argument your way, another factor partially or completely makes you feel you have actually lost it. And that can worsen your relation to the arguer or the whole situation as well. If that’s the case, you should keep in mind that the argument should not lead to questioning at all.

That way, you’ll keep the relationship compartmentalized. Insulting and degrading the opponent is another key factor in an argument. You should not ever insult or degrade your opponent at all. If you do insult or degrade your opponent, you’ll actually be conveying the message that you have something personal in the disagreement. So, refraining from showing that you have something personal in the argument can be a plus point for you.

7. Hope That The Issue Can be Resolved

As we know an Argument means negative emotions, gestures, or feelings. Most of the times, arguments turn ugly and a shouting or screaming fest begins. This ultimately affects your own dignity as you don’t know if you can come out of it as you were before the argument started. However, if you are a strong person, hope is one factor that can actually help you think more straight and clearly.

This, in turn, lets you put in more logic than the fuss. According to Halperin review, hope is the only thing in an argument that helps you come up with solutions to the issue that are more creative (P 71 Halperin Review). In simple words, you can say that Hope offers you a secure way out of a possible losing situation and turns it into a win-win. It later becomes a source of a satisfying solution for both of the competing parties.

8. Be Open Minded

Arguments, as we know, have only one victor and that’s always the one who acts mature. We know that being a close minded or the most offended one in an argument isn’t going to help you. So, you should always remain open-minded during an argument. Being defensive and trying to be a hot shot is always a bad idea. It won’t help you win the argument. So, stay calm and listen to what your opponent is actually saying.

Accept your opponent’s point of view open-mindedly and then try to tame his/her inner monster with logic. Don’t at any step let your opponent think that you are not in control. In simple words, don’t dig into your own individual position. First, consider all the alternatives, listen to what your opponent has to say, consider each and every point in detail, and then give your own thoughtful review. That’s the only way to offer a sensible and acceptable solution to the issue the argument is based on.

References: Halperin E

Reference Category: Emotion and Consciousness in Psychology in Philosophy of Cognitive Science

Emotions in Philosophy of Mind

Check out Full Halperin E. Paper on Emotion, Emotion Regulation, and Conflict Resolution here.

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