Writing and Schizophrenia

"Writing is the only socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."

~E. L. Doctorow

I saw this quote sometime ago, when I was searching for something else, and it stuck with me. At the time, it brought to mind my sister, who has been working on a fiction novel for years, and knows the characters in her book better then the members of her family. It brought to mind the ability to understand another person thoroughly, and to act as that person would, in order to write about them. However, as I have taken up writing, I am finding another side to this puzzle.

Due to my name being extremely rare, I chose a pen name to write under, and after being published repeatedly in certain markets, I began to feel confined. Trapped. I wrote on many topics, but the ones that got attention were all informative. Technical. Useful, but lacking humor. I found my pen name to be very maternal, and a bit prudish, or maybe I should say, very proper. My pen name rarely gets bent out of shape. She is down to earth and practical. She can handle a crisis, and even enjoy it. I like her... but as she has a reputation to protect, her free, people loving, adventure seeking side, must remain mostly hidden. Every remark left on-line is filtered through the thought process of "If I were an employer, would I hire someone who made this remark? What if my mother-in-law saw this -- how would it reflect on my husband?".

Hence, I found myself here, at Hubpages, testing new waters and trying new styles and topics. I signed up with a name that I love, found a picture that I identified with, and began listing titles. Slowly the first articles came to life, and with them, so did Ivorwen.

Ivorwen follows certain rules too, just as my other pen name does, but they are different rules. Ivorwen is more passionate and free. She is bright-eyed with wonder. She has faults. Faults that she recognizes and works toward improving... but being perfect is not what consumes her thoughts.

Ivorwen is just another side of me. She is the side that runs through the rain, splashing in every puddle she can find -- with a friend in tow. She is the side that has many friends, held loosely. The kind of friends that come and go. She is the free side of me -- the side with the blue butterfly tattoo.

My other pen name has a few close friends, with which she can share anything... but would hesitate to take puddle jumping. They are the friends with whom I enjoy a glass of wine with and exchange recipes.

Ivorwen, 2010.

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