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Your last job
There comes a point in every living person's life when its time for the last rodeo. Metaphorically only, you have spent your whole life preparing you for the most important job of your life.
We can look at this as a sick comment or just the way things are,according to me. Now just stop and think when was the last time you got excited over your job or family or even sex. Been a while, so set back and Liston it wont take long.
When I was a small boy child I was traveling from Duluth,Mn in a Greyhound bus to Tampa,Fa my new home. Little did I know at this time about family divorces, etc,etc. It was like the very moment that the light bulb come on for me. I remember the travel through new country and staying with Uncle Tore in Tampa.
Things went pretty fast for me after that, moving from house to house, blah, blah, blah. After a short time being a young kid I found myself in a gang of kids who all shared the same past. We lived in the River view Projects on the north end of Tampa. Things are speeding up now,I'm in the first grade at Cleveland Elementary School, just another kid.
My childhood is not very important at this point nor anything I may have done. This is all about the moment you believe that everything you have done in life hasn't been enough for your personal salvation or so you may think. This is not about religion, your belief or not. Stay tuned I will not let you down.
My life has been spent as a cop in Tampa,Fl, full of excitement and danger around every corner. Getting married and having a kid does something to throw a monkey wrench into the works. Having kids and being married to the right person is great it opens another level in your life. Getting back on track all the tough guy stuff I have done in my life is over.
Just imagine your life is like a shell of an old big buck standing at the edge of the clearing and your only ten years old with a 410 single shot and at this point your dad is saying a little closer. Your dad is the big buck or the shell of what the buck used to be. Its not until this very moment that you realize the kid is you and the moment has past and now you are your dad. Things happen so fast in your life that its not until something brings this feeling to the forefront. Its this moment of understanding that separates us from the young and stupid and old and wise.
Within these few years we totally understand everything in our life, except maybe our spouses or loved ones. Its this moment that all the lights are turned on and every thing becomes clearer to us. This doesnt make us special to any one else it just answers a lot of internal questions we have always had. Don't fight this feeling embrace it for what it is, your life will chance somewhat for the better.
I now work the metal detector at the court house here at home, not a very powerful job in the eyes of a cop but a rewarding one in my eyes. I get to meet people of the same caliber and age who haven't yet seen the light.
If you have ever watched a person die of old age and you get that look its not disuse its satisfaction knowing its over and you can take over the Raine. Not everyone actually gets it either.
What I have at 60 means more to me than all the tea in China. This is like being on an escalator ride where you get to travel through the stages of your life and you can still see everything and remember everyone. Forgiveness is so important to help you rise to the top of the stairs. I'm not quiet ready yet to go overt he top, but I understand the questions now, and I see all I every wanted to, I'm one of the very lucky ones and it only means something to me.